Customer Reviews

A Life Complete: Emotional and Spiritual Growth for Midlife and Beyond

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As an aging baby boomer with a spouse talking retirement, I began reading this self-help book with the thought of "not me" because I have many pages to read before I sleep. Besides, who wants to read about another fiscal planning seminar for retirees. Still I reluctantly began thinking twenty-five pages not fifty, but quickly was hooked as I realized that author Sallirae Henderson was talking to my peers and me more so than senior citizens about our feelings.

The value of such a book is that it helps the individual spiritually and emotionally prepare for the end of middle age and the beginning of senior citizenship. This book focuses on personal growth and the meaning of life and death. This motivating non-fiction booK reminds me of Steelie Dan's "Hey Nineteen". The years may have gone by, but we can still make tonight and all our remaining years a wonderful thing by not losing sight that everyone at anytime or age has something to give to all of us. With that message and other uplifting thoughts, Ms. Henderson's non-fiction book is worth the time of all us baby boomers to learn and prepare for hopefully a healthy extended future.

I was very touched by this book for more than one reason. I am 63 years old, a retired physician, and had a heart attack and cardiac bypass surgery three years ago. The issues I personally have struggled with for many years are discussed in depth, with sensitivity, and accuracy. The style and language make it easy to read and understand. The author discusses emotional and spiritual issues but always keeps the reader feeling grounded. No area is left out from all that we face at this stage of our life. My favorite chapter is "Evolving Toward True North", a metaphor for the state of completion we can attain before we die. I highly recommend this book to any person caring to delve beyond the superficialities of our daily consumer- oriented and materialistic environment. Munir J. Katul MD

Superb, profound and a wake-up call for those of us at mid-life who echo the Peggy Lee refrain, "Is That All There Is?" This book deserve a six on a one-to-five scale. Henderson makes a powerful case that our life and gropwth in elder years will be shaped in large part by the habits we develop in our earlier years. No paint by numbers how-to book, she nevertheless offers insights on seeing old age as a phase of life, not just the end of life. Thought-provoking in a painful yet healthy way.

I ordered this book along with three others late last spring, after doing an online search for books on "midlife grief." --Not midlife crisis or midlife depression, but grief that had impressed me, by the age of 49, as a characteristic of middle-age. The three other books were far more widely praised here on Amazon. Because some reviews of Ms. Henderson's book were mixed (and boy, have I reconsidered ever accepting at face value again "anonymous" reviews!), I put off reading it until about a month ago. Suffice it to say the other three books have gone the way of the Used Book donations. But this wonderful, magnificent, truly ineffable book addresses not only midlife grief but a worse despair that can come in latelife. Latelife despair is a subject almost NO author has discussed--at least in terms so profoundly yet reticently Christian. I was particularly impressed (as was a physician who wrote another review of the book) by the chapter Finding Your True North. But every chapter has unique insights into the various spiritual crosses of middle age and late life; and if I could, I'd buy this as a Christmas gift for everyone I know over fifty. This is a must-have for anyone over the age of 45.

Sallirae has culled the wisdom from decades of working with the dying and the elderly. Her insights should be mandatory reading for all middle aged to prepare us for optimal living of the last season of our life. Wish my 84 year old mother had read this one 30 years ago, maybe she wouldn't be the lonely, miserable woman stuck in the past that she is today. I feel I've got an advanced edge on aging gracefully.

I'm enjoying this book. The author provides real-life examples of those who have lived well and also of those who haven't. Sometimes sober reading. Her thoughts are helping me consider how I have lived so far and what I could tweak to make my later years more rewarding. Too often, we live our lives without giving any thought to the choices we are making. She has us step out of ourselves and examine things a bit. Years of working with the elderly (in addition to her own maturing) have provided this author with experience and wisdom in how to approach life in one's later years. What can I begin to do now to prepare for my later years? How can I age gracefully while living in our youth-obsessed culture? What do I need to cultivate? What may I need to put aside? How can I learn to bless others more? Good stuff.

I find what Thomas J. Henry, MD, PSy.D. wrote about this book absolutely out of line -- it is vindictive, mean-spirited, vengeful, personal and along the lines of character assasination. How many of the leading lights of Psychology, those who wrote the most seminal works did not struggle with their dark side or lead tangled lives? That is not the issue here. The issue here is whether this book is helpful for those who are dealing with spiritual issues at middle age and on. For someone with a "counseling" degree, Dr. Henry comes across as having little to no empathy and showing very little professional etiquette. I have used Sallirae's book with adult classes at Unitarian Universalist circles and find it immensely helpful. As a tool for group exploration of late life spiritual issues it is unequaled in the market. Whether the author is a pristine, ideal person or not is irrelevant to the way this book can be a blessing in people's lives. I strongly recommend the book for those who want to explore very valid issues in middle to late life.

This book gave practical ideas to be used to strive for a completed life, a life of fulfillment in our elder years. I found many ideas to begin implimenting now, such as learning to be my own best friend and learning to receive graciously from others.
Sallirae gives many life examples, some taken from her experiences counselling elders in a nursing home environment.
This book should be read by mid-lifers. It provokes much thought about how we want to be at the end of our lives.

Like most people I lead a busy life and buy many books thatI glance at and then put on the shelf to read later. "A Life Complete" was not one of those books. As a minister and pastoral counselor I spend a lot of my professional life working with people who are aging, caring for the aging and struggling with what it means to be spiritual. When I began to read this book I just had to finish it. Sallirae has wonderfully blended some very deep thinking and reflection with her own personal experiences and has presented in a style that is very readable. There is no heavy technical psychological or theological language - she does not waste our time trying to impress us with her knowledge of complicated words but writes in a style that is clear and understandable, whilst at the same time she does not talk down to us. I also loved how she very gently but firmly slipped in some of her political belief,demonstrating in her writing how spirituality is grounded in how we live our lives and our beliefs. As a pastoral counselor I rarely recommend books to clients as they tend to be either too complicated in language or they oversimplify complicated issues. This book I have recommended to many people as Sallirae writes as one of the people for the people. On a personal level both my wife and I have fathers who are in various stages of Alzheimer's Disease and have tried to read a number of books on the subject. None of them were as helpful as the chapter Sallirae devoted to this topic. Personally I find stories about how other people cope far more helpful than a lot of theory, and was greatly helped by her comment "To the unpracticed eye, the person with AD has become a 'what' rather than a 'who'". My father is still a "who" and I am grateful for the stories that remind me that I am still learning from him, and he is teaching me far more about the art of listening - carefully and patiently. Spirituality as Sallirae puts it is "a minefield" but she approaches it gently, whilst at the same time exposing a few of the mines (beliefs) that are held to by the narrowly religious - you will have to read the book to see what I am referring to. This is a book of hope - buy it, read it, share it with others and live what she suggests and maybe we will all have a more complete life.

I find what Thomas J. Henry, MD, PSy.D. wrote about this book absolutely out of line -- it is vindictive, mean-spirited, vengeful, personal and along the lines of character assasination. How many of the leading lights of Psychology, those who wrote the most seminal works did not struggle with their dark side or lead tangled lives? That is not the issue here. The issue here is whether this book is helpful for those who are dealing with spiritual issues at middle age and on. For someone with a "counseling" degree, Dr. Henry comes across as having little to no empathy and showing very little professional etiquette. I have used Sallirae's book with adult classes at Unitarian Universalist circles and find it immensely helpful. As a tool for group exploration of late life spiritual issues it is unequaled in the market. Whether the author is a pristine, ideal person or not is irrelevant to the way this book can be a blessing in people's lives. I strongly recommend the book for those who want to explore very valid issues in middle to late life.