Customer Reviews

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

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Often when you read a book, the suspense of seeing how it will end keeps you going. When I began Life with Pop, a memoir of the five years during which the author served as the primary caregiver for her beloved and increasingly debilitated father, I knew how it would end. The deeply emotional suspense comes in discovering how the universal experience of aging is revealed through Janis Spring's unique relationship with her father. This award-winning author and acclaimed psychologist lets us in on the pathos of aging, sprinkled with humor, deep meaning, the realities of caregiver limitations and exhaustion in the constant tension that exists when choosing between self and other. Life with Pop bravely, honestly and sensitively witnesses the very humanity of the ancient question of what children owe parents, as they complete their cycle of love, obligation, guilt feelings and balance. Dr. Spring's last gift to her Pop is this beautifully written, moving memoir. We are all blessed to have it as well.

I laughed and cried my way through this book, turning each page with tremendous anticipation of the next vignette. Dr. Spring creatively, compassionately, and ever so candidly presents slices of life that children experience with aging parents. The reader joins the struggle of maintaining the delicate balance between protection and independence, not just for the parent but for the children and their partners.

Dr. Spring makes a significant contribution to the self help literature by self disclosing her resentment, guilt, shame, and other negative feelings that she experienced while assuming the prime responsibility for her father. She doesn't just stop there, but offers alternative ways of thinking and handling sensitive and potentially volatile situations. These vignettes are juxtaposed with others that are quite humorous and heartwarming, reflecting Dr. Spring's unflagging love, devotion, and passionate quest to do the very best for her dad.

This book will be enjoyed by readers who want to explore the harsh realities of care giving for their parents, along with creative suggestions for making the most out of this time of life. It will also be helpful to professionals who counsel people through these life challenges.

This author beautifully shares her daily joys and angst journaling her father's last years on earth. The prose was simple but eloquent. The book pulled at my heartstrings for what was written and what was left unsaid. There wasn't any over-analysis of her feelings and thoughts, which makes the book not so much a self-help book, but a "remember with me the joys of being someone's child and the heartaches of watching a parent die." The author knows we all are feeling the same longing for our once healthy parents, yet we all know that the outcome of life is death, and we all know the emptiness that is left behind when a parent dies. Thank you Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring for sharing your story because I needed to hear your words.

Life with Pop is a sensitive, heart and soul-baring glimpse into one daughter's caring journey through her father's declining years. Any child caring for an aging parent will relate to vignettes in this book, as Dr. Spring expresses her own fears, self-doubts and deep love for her sweet and loveable Pop. This book is a must-read for baby boomers whose parents have or will someday call on them to make decisions on their behalf, to fill their lonely days following the death of a spouse, to deal with doctors and caregivers, housing issues and the like. Kudos to Dr. Spring!

I really loved this book. It was very touching, thoughtful, and honest. It helps a lot when one is dealing with an aging parent, as she includes advice throughout the book on such matters through her own experience with her father. This book made me both laugh and cry. It is a touching testament to a father-daughter bond that we should all strive to have.

An extraordinary book. Dr. Spring is simultaneously profound, easy and direct; so hard to do. Realizations like keeping parents alive out of guilt at profiting from their death, are invaluable insights. And, her wonderful sense of humor in the midst of such a serious subject, make sensitive issues easy to accept. This book is very important. I have given it to my kids and a psychologist friend. You come away from the book informed and liking Dr. Spring a lot.

This is so real, so familiar, so accurate in the emotions of parent/child relationships as they approach the end of life. For me, I balanced my personal life and family life with the urgent care of both of our mothers, and three aunts and an uncle as they aged, unlike the author dealing with an aging father. The guilt, the feelings of selfishness, the doubt of decisions, and many other emotions are shared in this memoir, and I relate to them all, times 6! As a society, we still haven't figured out how to get this right, and maybe the answers are a many as there are elders who need our care and support. This validates the caregivers feelings, but I still have that unsettled feeling in my stomach that "best isn't good enough", and "I should do more...but how?". It's well written and I recommend it.

While writing of the joys and heartaches she experienced during the last five years of her "Life With Pop", Dr. Spring has endeared us to both her and her father. A beautifully written account of the challenges they faced as aging and illness compromised his abilities and sapped his independence, it portrays both her compassion and devotion, and his spirit and grace, as they explore each new scenario together. We seldom have the opportunity to experience such a frank and intimate view of the aging process and how it can impact families, so we are grateful to Dr. Spring for sharing this testament to the benefits of a positive attitude regardless. Definitely recommend you read this book.

I just finished reading this book - My 84 year old dad has started to make plans to move closer to us. Luckily he is in great health, but I know what is coming closer ever year. I feel this book will better help me face some of the hard decisions that might be mine to make one day. Until then, I will treasure my time with him - be a little afraid of what might be coming - and terribly afraid of the day he will no longer be in my life. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us readers. I felt like I got to know your dad and you - it was a pleasure.

I want to thank Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., ABPP for taking the time to put the story of her personal journey with her father in writing. After having lost my mother just 5 years ago, and having taken many of the same paths as she over the past few years, it gave me a renewed strength just as my father and I entered the final stages of his journey. This book is great for any Baby Boom Generation Caregiver whether it be to a father or mother.