23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Honest and Not For The Faint-of-Heart, October 3, 2005
This review is from: A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother (Paperback)
I spent a long time reading and re-reading Cusk's introduction. In fact, I spent a whole lot more time with the introduction than the rest of the book. [There was much in the book proper that didn't resonate, though through and through I admired her brave straightforwardness.] This said, the introduction spoke to me in no uncertain terms, and it was quite a relief to find someone who could so eloquently express some of the feelings and changes that I, and presumably others -- though perhaps not the majority -- experienced after the birth of my two children.
Unlike Cusk, never did I mull at length over the question of "having children" nor did I view it as anything other than something exciting - something that would enhance my life, my story so to speak. So what was it about this book, even over Lammott's "Operating Instructions", that I found validating? Just this: the fact that precisely because she had a child, her "appetite" for living - for wanting to live - was "insatiable". And even though in the same breath she also delves into her loss of freedom(s), I'm happy to set that aside for now.
In her marvelous introduction she states three truths that I find incontrovertible: 1) "A day spent at home caring for a child could not be more different from a day spent working in an office. Whatever their relative merits, they are days spent on opposite sides of the world." 2) "Another person has existed in her, and after their birth they live within the jurisdiction of her consciousness. When she is with them she is not herself; when she is without them she is not herself; and so it is as difficult to leave your children as it is to stay with them." And, above all, 3) "My experience of reading, indeed of culture, was profoundly changed by having a child, in the sense that I found the concept of art and expression far more involving and necessary, far more human in its drive to bring forth and create, than I once did." It is, overwhelmingly, her third experience - that from having children the desire to do, to contribute, and to create -- in whatever form, increases dramatically, and not the reverse, not the mother-subverts-desires-and-needs-to-all-ruling child. The cost of this book was covered just by reading the first ten pages. It was a sanctuary.
Even if you dislike her perspective, it's worth a read precisely because Cusk makes you think and the prose simple and elegant. I think I'd advise others to try to get through it a) before the baby arrives (it's pretty dense at times, though other reviewers disagree) or b) if you have a colicky one and think you might lose your mind or have lost it. She more than ably captures the lesser discussed ways that the birth of a child can impact and change not just a mother, but a woman.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally, a book about motherhood that rings true, March 19, 2002
By A Customer
I couldn't wait to read this book because 1) I really enjoy Rachel Cusk's novels and 2) I had just become a new mother.
I was not disappointed--Rachel tells it like it is. She talks about all the difficult and ambivalent feelings of becoming a mother that most of us have kept to ourselves.
The regret and the irrationality, the pride and protectiveness, the "out of body" experience that nobody can prepare you for--Rachel describes it all. With a great sense of humor and humanity, this book helped me make sense of my own experience of new motherhood.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A voice not heard, September 11, 2006
This review is from: A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother (Paperback)
I was not familiar with Ms.Cusk's work prior to reading this book. I am a new mother and A Life's Work was recommended to me.
Her voice is one that is not heard in books about motherhood. My thougths echoed in her words.
Pregnancy and motherhood has been humbling, humiliating and exhausting. I love my daughter but I never could have anticipated the emotional journey I was embarking on.
Rachel Cusk does not put a pretty pink wash on everything. It is a clean true voice.
I recommend this book to any woman trying to find where she has gotten lost in her life.
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