Customer Reviews

The Lifestyle : A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As a member of one of the clubs 'featured' in the book, I can confirm the accuracy, not only in a factual sense but in getting the correct 'feel' for how things work in 'the lifestyle' so many of us love. While I might quibble with some conclusions, I didn't at any time find the book to be significantly off the mark. It rings true to those of us on the inside, and you can't ask for more than that in this sort of book.

If you are a swinger, you will appreciate the history and analysis of what we do. If you are thinking about swinging, it will give you a good idea what you should expect (and what you should bring to the experience). And, if you have only a curiosity about it, this will tell you what you want to know in an unbiased, unvarnished manner.

The subject is, on the surface, swinging - sharing sexual partners. A closer look shows that the subject is the dynamics of close relationships. There is much written about the subject of relationships, so, you may ask why I think swingers have something to say? My answer is that swingers removed the taboos and discarded the 'already known facts' before examining the subject.

The book is not, I say, a definitive work. It is more of an investigation. It is far more complete, accurate, unbiased, thoughtful, and provocative than anything else I have seen on the subject. It will be quite valuable to anybody who reads it. I do not mean that whoever reads this book will see that swinging is the way to go - not at all. You don't have to be a swinger to benefit from what swingers have learned just as you don't have to be an astronomer to benefit from what astronomers know.

As a couple contemplating the lifestyle, we were told this was the best book to read on the subject. Now, I would agree if I were interested in knowing all the historical facts regarding swinging, and if I needed a lot of facts to help me rationalize my decision and why it would not be wrong to swing. What I really wanted to know were about the emotional aspects that I could encounter, how to initiate contact with people, what to expect my first time, etc. Instead I found most of the stories with "real people" to take place at a resort, not a situation I am likely to be in. I think this book would be for somebody already involved in the lifestyle rather then somebody curious about it. It was very well written and researched, though.

This book gives an unbiased look at sexual ethics in the Americas. It looks at the high divorce rate and suggests that swingers may have a better life than most of us. Most "lifestyle couples" are in committed relationships but just feel that monogamy is unrealistic and that open and honest relationships are the best. The book also contains some very sexy descriptions of the house parties and conventions these folks have almost every week.

The Lifestyle is a well-written, fascinating, evenhanded look at swinging in North America today. If you've ever wondered, as I have, what makes these folks tick, this is the book to get. Very insightful, well-researched, and complete. Gould is remarkably objective for writing about such a sensitive subject. He is not an apologist for swinging, nor is he on a witch-hunt; rather, he seems intent on discovering the truth and communicating it clearly to the reader.

We are a mid 30's couple that have been swinging since we met two years ago. This is an outstanding analysis of sociological, historical, biological and cultural implications of consensual sex between loving couples. It is a serious read that will live you informed and inspired. We just met the author whose presentation in person is inspiring. Terry Gould is becoming the spokesperson for an under represented and growing population. Excellent read!

This is the best book on the subject to date. Although written by someone outside the Lifestyle, obvious care has been taken to let swingers speak for themselves. If you're curious about the subject, this is a good read.

I was looking for more info on the emotional and psychological impact. I also didn't see enough negative information; in other words, I don't think ANY of the books I've read on swinging are properly balanced with both positive and negative feedback from participants.

A very useful contribution to our understanding of ourselves and our sexuality. But needed editing: could be 1/3 shorter. Read it, and be surprised.

Yes, this is a good view of the lifestyle, yet I would like to challenge Terry to see "the other" side. I have seen it, broken marriages, relationships in splinters, scarred hearts. Sure if your data is skewed by only interviewing those who are active in the lifestyle is will sound grande. But, what about interviewing those who have left the lifestyle, or have been damaged by it. There are always two sides. I agree, for those couples who 100% agree on their lifestyle, then no problem. But about those who do not 100% and have to compromise? I have spoken with many women in the lifestyle who said they wished they were like my husband and I. We only touch each other, and exhibit and voyuer only. Not even soft swapping. But, we love being in the sexually charged arean of the lifestyle which you cannot find anywhere else. His book does do a great job of confirming that the lifestyle is not taboo, which it is not. But for those who left and are now broken, Terry up for the challenge?