Customer Reviews

Light Her Fire: How to Ignite Passion, Joy, and Excitement in the Woman You Love

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Heard the taped version of Ellen Kreidman's LIGHT HER FIRE
and got a lot of useful advice from it (or at least I hope it is useful advice? laughing here--somewhat) . . . Kreidman, also author of the best-selling LIGHT HIS FIRE, presents many ideas about how to have a passionate, fun, exciting relationship . . . most if not all of what she writes seems to make a great deal of sense, and I believe it can apply to other situations as well; e.g., basic communication with friends, coworkers, children, etc.

Here were just a few of the many concepts that caught my attention:
We all have 10 vaults and 10 virtues.

When asked if you want to do something (such as go to the movies),
don't just say "OK." Respond, I'd love to go the movies with you!

Send personal notes, rather than preprinted greeting cards.

Ask what the other person wants and give it to her. If she tells you
without asking, make sure you note it!

Very romantic: A guy who has roses pout on his wife's bed for their
35th anniversary. (He has the thorns removed.) He tells her, "I've
always wanted to make love to you on a bed of roses."

Once a week, make a date night. Every three months, go away for
a weekend. Once a year, take a vacation with your spouse or
significant other.

Women need something to look forward to; e.g., a trip in six weeks.
For men, it doesn't matter as much.

Plan a special evening at least once every few months. Tell your
partner that everything has been taken care of by you.

Give kids a hug whenever you get the chance. Kiss your partner
like you mean it; i.e., a 7-second kiss.

Don't ask, "What are you doing on Saturday?' Instead say, "I'd
like to go out with you Saturday night . . . are you busy?" Use
"I" statements.

If you're together, hold your partner's hand, give her a kiss, put
your arm around her shoulder. Show the world you enjoy
being alone with her.

Schedule a lunch date, and tell your partner you're putting it in
your book.

Send a no occasion gift of flowers to her office.

Compliment your mate in front of another couple. It has three times
the impact this way.

If you buy one book on relationships, this needs to be the one. I was impressed with the reviews here but it wasn't till I read the book myself that I realized what an incredible treasure it really is. Gentleman, if you really want to be all the man you can be for the love of you life please read this book. There are no magic tricks or special formulas that Ellen teaches, other than good old fashion sense that everyone should know but some how we usually don't. No matter what the state your relationship is currently in, no matter how bad or how good, I give you my word, this book can make it better. Hands down, no questions asked. She not only teaches you how to become the dream guy that all women long for, but how to really understand women's needs. I have always said that if a guy could understand women than he would be rich. Well here you go. The first 20 pages alone are worth a hundred times the price. I am not much of a spender but it was so cheap, I figured why not. Now that I understand its contents I also understand that you can not afford to not get this book. And if you are single, do yourself a favor and get a head start. That special woman will never know what hit her when she finds you. This book is a guide, a revelation, and a counselor. Enjoy, and become the most sought after guy in your city.

The book is well written and I had read it quickly. However, at the end I came to a conclusion that I'm a perfect husband material as 90% of what Kreidman advises men to do is and was obvious to me. I was even insulted as a man with the way she tries to persuade her reader to do this or that by promising that this will bring him better sex with the woman of his life - just as if men were unsensitive types that canot for example hug their mate just for the sake of the hug itself, just to feel close and intimate with that special woman without any need to immediately have sex...

So - if you are a man, who doesn't give his mate flowers on no-occasion, forgets about her birthday and your marriage anniversary, doesn't tell his mate that he loves her a few times a week (and expects the same, BTW), is not eager to meet again in the evening to talk, talk and talk until bedtime, to share all that has happened or crossed your minds, considers his work more important than the time spent with familly or - even worse - prefers to have beer with friends rather than an evening walk with his wife - if you are that incredible type of man, then this is a book for you.

As for the rest of us, there is not much to learn from it, except maybe that we are not that bad and get a few nice ideas (like leaving cards around the house for her to find - I didn't come up with this!).

Kreidman's practical and realistic approach doesn't require a guy to become a fiery Casanova or a Tommy Hilfiger model to raise his woman's temperature. What she suggests is a step-by-step process of looking at yourself, your mate and your relationship in a way that naturally leads to actions that will improve the status quo.

And after the first read-through, it's a great book to keep at hand for romantic inspiration. Somewhere in Kreidman's list of 51 ways to light a fire will be inspiration for several memorable nights!

The real trick of this book--which Kreidman never mentions, but becomes obvious as you begin to employ her suggestions--is in lighting the reader's *own* fire. Even if you're already smoldering, Kreidman's tips will stir every man's creative juices, leading him to become a more creative, passionate partner. And it's the energy that he's putting into the relationship that ultimately lights her fire.

The product description for this book reads:

"Whether your marriage is in the doldrums, your relationship is on the skids, or you're single and looking for love, Ellen Kreidman shows you how to become a world-class lover..."

This book delivers on the first two promises, for reasons already explained by other reviewers. I believe, though, that the author should have paid more attention to the importance of being a challenge, rather than an ever-willing romantic. Lack of challenge is at least as deadly as lack of romance. I would suggest using these ideas once in a while, giving your partner a glimpse of what you can be, rather than constantly showering her with this approach (as the author seems to suggest).

As far as her "single looking for love" promise is concerned, which is what made me curious enough to read it, this book doesn't offer as much as other works that are exclusively focused on that particular subject. This book is targeted more for men who are already in relationships and trying to keep things lively; not so much for those wanting to attract new romantic partners. For that, I suggest:

1. "How To Make Anyone Fall in Love With You" by Leil Lowndes, 2. "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene (if you dare!)
3. "...The System" by Roy Valentine

The last one is especially recommended if you are the type who frequently hears "You're nice," soon followed by "I think of you as a friend."
Bottom line is, "Light Her Fire" is great (in moderation) for long-term relationships, IF your partner is already sincerely into you, needs more evidence of your romantic feelings for her, and you need ideas to accomplish that (but you probably won't get to that point in the first place simply by "being romantic" -- you have to "create attraction" before it is time to "be romantic"). If you are single, especially if you're the type of man who wants to attract new partners, you would be better advised to read something else; but this book is quite good if your circumstances call for it.

The book was eye opening in the way it taught me to understand women so much better. I really did not know that I knew so little. With the guidance of this book my relationship is slowly repairing itself. I can easily see and feel the difference in my wife and our relationship.

Ellen really does a wonderful job explaining to women to men here. Everything that you read strikes you in a "Well, duh!" type of way, but it often stuff you never thought of on your own. This to me is the essence of good explanations. It SHOULD seem like common sense.

The book reads quickly, with lots of examples to illustrate her points. Ellen Kriedman has done all men a service here.

This is one of the greatest books I have ever read on relationships. I recommend it to every man, whether you are single, married, separated, or whatever. If you are single and afraid to start a relationship, you might want to read "Single no More" in addition to this book to give you more confidence. But this book is one of those common-sense books; no heavy philosophy, no BS, just the good stuff. Plus, you should be able to read this book in only a few hours. This book is just as actual as it was 10 years ago when it first came out!

If a man wants to light my fire, there is one simple thing for him to do -- romance me. Treasure me, make me feel special, call me in the middle of the day, surprise me with a gift from the heart. This is book is a good overview but an excellent book of suggestions on how to romance women is The Romantic's Guide. I bought it for all my brothers and my dad. Their wives haven't stopped thanking me.

The book really did give some good insight into various aspects of male/female relationships. There are some excellent suggestions and "homework assigments". I have been following a lot of the advice and have gotten VERY VERY good feedback from my girlfriend (although she doesn't know where it originated from). She just thinks I'm amazing, which is good enough for me! By the way, this book is so good that I bought a second copy after my dog used the first as a chew toy. So definitely worth the minimal investment.