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Lily Hates Goodbyes

4.8 out of 5 stars 30 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I see hundreds of children's books a year, since I not only do reviews, I work in the industry. Lily Hates Goodbyes is as good as they get, on par with the best." --David Broughton

"This little book is a fine storybook for any child, but it is almost a mandatory library addition for parents in the military. Jerilyn Marler makes it easier to cope - for both child and at home parent!" --Grady Harp

"This is an outstanding story! ...You will love it. Best of all, you will appreciate it so much." --Biblio Reads Children's Book Review

"Jerilyn Marler's children's book, Lily Hates Goodbyes, is a must have for children with a parent in the military and also for elementary school counselors." -- Moments: Book Review

"Marler has created a special book that is guaranteed to help the families of the men and women who bravely and selflessly serve our country." -- Portland Book Review, 5-star review for Lily Hates Goodbyes --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From the Author

I wrote this story for my (then) four-year-old granddaughter who was reeling from the pain of her Daddy's time away in the Navy. She was deep in denial about the scary feelings, yet her behavior clearly showed that she was in turmoil. She would run from the room instead of talk about feelings. So I wrote Lily Hates Goodbyes to give us a "third person" to talk about. Book Lily was mad. Book Lily was sad. Suddenly it wasn't so scary for Real Lily to talk about those feelings. She asked me to read the book to her over and over. She even wanted me to sing it to her.

The result is exactly what I hoped for: Lily's more at ease with her emotions, knows what she can do when she feels them, knows that it's safe to say whatever she feels, knows that her Mommy will be there steadfastly and lovingly by her side through it all, and that there is a joyful reunion coming with her Daddy.

I fervently hope that this book will help your child through the long, difficult separations, too. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 32 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 8, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 146096070X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1460960707
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 0.1 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,440,471 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This is a great little book, but be aware that the daddy depicted in the book is an officer dressed in whites. The reason why this is important is that for a very young child to think of her own daddy when looking at the pictures, he needs to be dressed in what she is familiar with, like the daily NWUs that are worn by both officers and enlisted. There are far more enlisted personnel in the military than there are officers, so I assumed that is how the book would be illustrated, but it is not.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was a well-written, touching book that clearly illustrates the various emotions that young children with a deployed parent have to deal with in his or her absence. The wording is simple, but detailed enough to clearly convey what the author is trying to say and the illustrations are sweet and well-drawn.

My daughter is going through her father's second deployment since getting this book (first when she was two, second now that she is three) and it has been helpful both times. When she was two, it helped her identify feelings like missing her father and joy at his homecoming. Now that she is three, it has helped in a very different way-- it taught her positive coping strategies and showed her how to work through negative emotions by doing things like taking deep breaths and talking to her mother about how she is feeling. My daughter used these behaviors to help her process the separation.

We also created a "Memories for Daddy box", similar to Lily's, where my daughter puts various mementos and drawings that she does when she is upset about missing her dad and needs to "color her feelings". This deployment has been extremely difficult for her emotionally and this book has been an invaluable resource for us. I would definitely recommend this book to other military families, particularly Navy families dealing with ship deployments.

As a side note, I see some reviewers were dismayed by the illustrations portraying a Naval officer rather than an enlisted sailor, but this book was written about a real little girl and her experience during her father's deployment and her father likely happened to be a commissioned officer.
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Format: Paperback
Lily's dad is in the military, which means he is gone for long periods of time. For Lily it seems as if he is gone for a billion days. Her dad tells her if she looks at the moon he will be looking at the moon too. She can tell the moon anything and he will hear it. Her mommy tells her to hit a pillow when she feels sad or mad that daddy isn't home. Lily spends her time making a memory box with pictures for her dad. She can give them to him when he gets home. With the help and understanding of her mother Lily learns how to cope with her feelings while her dad is away. She counts down the days until his return on her special calendar.

The wonderfully vivid illustrated book will be a joy for kids to read and enjoy. Parents and teachers can help kids cope with a parent in the military through the eyes of Lily. In the back of the book Marler lists suggestion on how parents can talk through what their child is feeling.

Jerilyn Marler wrote this book for her four-year-old granddaughter whose father is in the Navy. She was having a hard time dealing with the pain of him being gone. If you would like to learn more about Lily please visit [...]
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We're currently going through the first deployment in which our daughter has been old enough to understand what's going on. This book has really helped her. She relates to it so well and she loves being reassured that the way she's feeling is okay. I highly recommend this to anyone with young kids dealing with deployment.
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Format: Paperback
Lily Hates Goodbyes is an ideal book in helping children deal with the feelings that exist when having a parent who deploys into the military for long periods of time.

Lily Hates Goodbyes is about a child named Lily who has a father in the military. It feels to her that he's gone for a billion days, though in reality he's really not. Her daddy says that when she looks at the moon, he's looking at it too, thinking about her. Her mother says that daddy can hear everything Lily says to the moon, so she talks to the moon and blows it a kiss.

Sometimes, Lily gets angry about her daddy's long absence, but mother says that it's okay to feel angry, and sometimes she feels angry too. Lily draws many pictures of what is going on around her and places them into a box so her daddy can look at them when he returns home.

She puts stickers on a calendar to remind her of her daddy's return, finding ways to cope. She receives a letter in the mail, which excites her, from her daddy. Her mother reads it to her and she puts it away to read for later.

Lily goes through a series of emotions. She also feels stubborn and mean when her daddy's gone. But her mother says that it's okay to feel that way and that sometimes she feels that way too. So, Lily will play with the things that make her happy because she knows that it will please her daddy. He wouldn't want her to be mean or stubborn. He wants her to be happy.

Lily finds various ways to cope that will help her until her daddy returns and makes everything in her life seem right again. Will she be able to hold it together with the help of her wise mother?

This 32-page picture book allows children to express their feelings about a parent being absent from home.
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