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Lily Hates Goodbyes

4.8 out of 5 stars 30 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I see hundreds of children's books a year, since I not only do reviews, I work in the industry. Lily Hates Goodbyes is as good as they get, on par with the best." --David Broughton

"This little book is a fine storybook for any child, but it is almost a mandatory library addition for parents in the military. Jerilyn Marler makes it easier to cope - for both child and at home parent!" --Grady Harp

"This is an outstanding story! ...You will love it. Best of all, you will appreciate it so much." --Biblio Reads Children's Book Review

"Jerilyn Marler's children's book, Lily Hates Goodbyes, is a must have for children with a parent in the military and also for elementary school counselors." -- Moments: Book Review

"Marler has created a special book that is guaranteed to help the families of the men and women who bravely and selflessly serve our country." -- Portland Book Review, 5-star review for Lily Hates Goodbyes --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From the Author

I wrote this story for my (then) four-year-old granddaughter who was reeling from the pain of her Daddy's time away in the Navy. She was deep in denial about the scary feelings, yet her behavior clearly showed that she was in turmoil. She would run from the room instead of talk about feelings. So I wrote Lily Hates Goodbyes to give us a "third person" to talk about. Book Lily was mad. Book Lily was sad. Suddenly it wasn't so scary for Real Lily to talk about those feelings. She asked me to read the book to her over and over. She even wanted me to sing it to her.

The result is exactly what I hoped for: Lily's more at ease with her emotions, knows what she can do when she feels them, knows that it's safe to say whatever she feels, knows that her Mommy will be there steadfastly and lovingly by her side through it all, and that there is a joyful reunion coming with her Daddy.

I fervently hope that this book will help your child through the long, difficult separations, too. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 32 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 8, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 146096070X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1460960707
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 0.1 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,252,926 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jerilyn Marler is a writer, editor, and publisher in Beaverton, Oregon, and the author of books to help military families cope with deployment.

LILY HATES GOODBYES
"Lily Hates Goodbyes" is a storybook for young children (ages 2-7) coping with separation from a loved one. It's available in two versions: Navy Version (daddy wears a Navy uniform) and All Military Version (daddy wears generic BDUs).

In March 2012 "Lily Hates Goodbyes" was named among the best in family-friendly media, products and services by the Mom's Choice Awards®!

Portland Book Review gives "Lily Hates Goodbyes" a five-star rating (the highest possible). "The book is filled with ideas that can help any child with an absent loved one. Nathan Stoltenberg's beautiful illustrations warm the heart. An especially important message that Marler subtly highlights is how important the at-home parent/family are when helping a child cope with their feelings. Marler has created a special book that is guaranteed to help the families of the men and women who bravely and selflessly serve our country."

In 2010, when her Navy officer son was on deployment and her 4-year-old granddaughter was distraught by his absence, Jerilyn wrote "Lily Hates Goodbyes." It began as a Word document with personal photos intended just for Lily. The book helped Lily talk about her feelings, develop healthy ways to cope with those feelings, feel connected to her daddy despite the distance between them, be reminded that her mommy was steadfastly beside her, and that a joyful hello was coming. The book helped Lily so much that Jerilyn decided to publish it for all young children who suffer through long separations from a loved one. She hired Nathan Stoltenberg, a Seattle-based graphic artist and illustrator. "Lily Hates Goodbyes" was first released in January 2011. A new version was released in August 2011 through Jerilyn's publishing company, Quincy Companion Books, an imprint of Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing.

HELPING YOUR YOUNG CHILD COPE WITH A PARENT'S DEPLOYMENT
This handbook helps military parents understand the challenges their children face before and during deployment. It also offers 22 fun, easy ways to help children feel connected with the away parent. At the end of the book is a handy alphabetized list of resources that every military family should keep nearby. "Helping Your Young Child Cope with a Parent's Deployment" is available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and iBook formats.

JERILYN MARLER
Jerilyn's 30-year creative path has led through writing educational materials for Alaska elementary schools; writing three books about WordPerfect for an imprint of Henry Holt Publishers; editing dozens of books for technical publishers; editing a children's book, a medical text book, and a book on divorce at the same time; and writing/editing end user documentation for more products than she can count.

Jerilyn has worked in major high technology companies and tiny start-ups; she's been a real estate agent, programmer, project manager, program manager, and user interface designer. Her name is on three patents held by Intel Corporation, where she worked for nearly 15 years. The persistent thread through all of her work has been communication: it always comes back to words.

From sixth grade through her junior year of high school Jerilyn attended Kodaikanal International School, a boarding school in the mountains of southern India. Memories of her long, painful separations from her parents helped her relate to Lily's experience 46 years later. For years after leaving Kodaikanal Jerilyn still considered India her home, much to the confusion of college classmates. A year in Madrid, Spain followed a few years later. Jerilyn has circled the globe many times since that first trip to India and she relishes travel whenever she has the opportunity.

Jerilyn's son is a Navy officer stationed in South Carolina. His daughter Lily is the inspiration for "Lily Hates Goodbyes." Jerilyn lives in Beaverton, just a few miles from Portland, Oregon, with Dan, her husband, and their two tabby cats.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Lily's dad is in the military, which means he is gone for long periods of time. For Lily it seems as if he is gone for a billion days. Her dad tells her if she looks at the moon he will be looking at the moon too. She can tell the moon anything and he will hear it. Her mommy tells her to hit a pillow when she feels sad or mad that daddy isn't home. Lily spends her time making a memory box with pictures for her dad. She can give them to him when he gets home. With the help and understanding of her mother Lily learns how to cope with her feelings while her dad is away. She counts down the days until his return on her special calendar.

The wonderfully vivid illustrated book will be a joy for kids to read and enjoy. Parents and teachers can help kids cope with a parent in the military through the eyes of Lily. In the back of the book Marler lists suggestion on how parents can talk through what their child is feeling.

Jerilyn Marler wrote this book for her four-year-old granddaughter whose father is in the Navy. She was having a hard time dealing with the pain of him being gone. If you would like to learn more about Lily please visit [...]
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Format: Paperback
This is a great little book, but be aware that the daddy depicted in the book is an officer dressed in whites. The reason why this is important is that for a very young child to think of her own daddy when looking at the pictures, he needs to be dressed in what she is familiar with, like the daily NWUs that are worn by both officers and enlisted. There are far more enlisted personnel in the military than there are officers, so I assumed that is how the book would be illustrated, but it is not.
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Format: Paperback
Lily Hates Goodbyes is an ideal book in helping children deal with the feelings that exist when having a parent who deploys into the military for long periods of time.

Lily Hates Goodbyes is about a child named Lily who has a father in the military. It feels to her that he's gone for a billion days, though in reality he's really not. Her daddy says that when she looks at the moon, he's looking at it too, thinking about her. Her mother says that daddy can hear everything Lily says to the moon, so she talks to the moon and blows it a kiss.

Sometimes, Lily gets angry about her daddy's long absence, but mother says that it's okay to feel angry, and sometimes she feels angry too. Lily draws many pictures of what is going on around her and places them into a box so her daddy can look at them when he returns home.

She puts stickers on a calendar to remind her of her daddy's return, finding ways to cope. She receives a letter in the mail, which excites her, from her daddy. Her mother reads it to her and she puts it away to read for later.

Lily goes through a series of emotions. She also feels stubborn and mean when her daddy's gone. But her mother says that it's okay to feel that way and that sometimes she feels that way too. So, Lily will play with the things that make her happy because she knows that it will please her daddy. He wouldn't want her to be mean or stubborn. He wants her to be happy.

Lily finds various ways to cope that will help her until her daddy returns and makes everything in her life seem right again. Will she be able to hold it together with the help of her wise mother?

This 32-page picture book allows children to express their feelings about a parent being absent from home.
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Format: Paperback
Lily Hates Goodbyes is a wonderful little storybook that the author, Jerilyn Marler, wrote with her young granddaughter in mind. Seeing how this book has helped her Real Lily deal with her emotions about her father being away from home on his military duty, Mrs. Marler decided to share Storybook Lily with the children of the military Moms and Dads, in hopes that it helps them as well.

The story in this book is incredibly helpful because the young reader can witness how Lily copes with her emotions, and for parents, we witness how the Mother in the story expresses to the child that her feelings are "okay" and expected because...Mother often feels that way, too. In a comforting story-book form, this book conveys the message that it's okay to express how you feel about your parent being away, and that there are things you can do in the meantime that will connect you with him/her while they are gone.

The Lily in the book is absolutely adorable. The illustrator, Nathan Stoltenberg is very talented, and did a bang-up job portraying Lily's emotions through his illustrations. The way he places the stuffed bunny throughout the book, children everywhere will smile.

This book is ideal for military families, and can help each family come up with their own rituals or ways of staying connected through the distance and time apart. The back of the book offers suggestions to the reader on how to get the most out of the book, by doing just those things.

This is a sweet story, wonderfully written, and a must-read for all military families with small children at home.
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Format: Paperback
Jerilyn Marler has provided a warmly useful tool in helping adults cope with the feelings little children have when a parent is in the military and is off on deployments too frequently. Though the trauma of having a parent- father OR mother - frequently depart from the home for extended periods of time ('a billion days'), children need nurturing and reassurance they haven't been deserted or are responsible for the absence of a parent. It is a serious problem and one that Marler addresses in a most engaging manner.

LILY HATES GOODBYES tells of the feelings Lily has when her father is deployed, feeling of longing (the section where Lily says goodnight to the moon, blowing kisses to her father far away is particularly touching), mad (mother tells her to take it out on her pillow), the need to write and receive letters, acting out with stubborn behavior to her mother, and finally the joy of her daddy's return. Each of the beautifully sculpted pages of writing is equally well presented visually by beautiful illustrations from Nathan Stoltenberg. Lily is an adorable little child, but the real issue here is how the mother deals with all of the little girl's responses to feeling s of loss and loneliness. This little book is a fine storybook for any child, but it is almost a mandatory library addition for parents in the military. Jerilyn Marler makes it easier to cope - for both child and at home parent! Grady Harp, March 11
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