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The Lipstick Proviso
 
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The Lipstick Proviso [Hardcover]

Karen Lehrman (Author)
2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)


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Book Description

April 14, 1997
Many women today prepare for a big meeting by reading a stack of folders and applying lipstick.  They order their male colleagues around, then wait for those same men to help them on with their coats.  They have higher-status jobs than some of the men they date, yet they never call men socially or ask them out.

What's going on?  Why such seemingly contradictory behaviors?  Have women completely failed feminism--or has feminism failed them?

In The Lipstick Proviso, Karen Lehrman--hailed by the New York Times as the "sharpest" of the new feminist thinkers--shows that women today are failing neither feminism nor themselves.  Rather, they've entered a new stage of feminism, one in which the personal is not political, differences between the sexes need to be respected, and courtship, chivalry, and the nuclear family don't have to be jettisoned just because they existed before the sixties.

Thirty years after the women's movement liberated women from narrowly defined roles, Lehrman argues, we are finally beginning to see which traditionally feminine behaviors are more deeply rooted in biology and which are more heavily influenced by culture.  Lehrman asserts that the result--whatever it is--will not undermine feminism as long as women still retain equal rights, opportunities, and responsibilities.  Dispensing with the outdated notion of sisterhood, Lehrman offers women a "lipstick proviso": women don't have to sacrifice their complex individuality in order to be equal.

As the first book to move beyond a critique of orthodox feminism, The Lipstick Proviso  sets a radically new course for the future of the women's movement.  While there's still much political work to be done, Lehrman argues that women should now focus on the personal sides of their lives.  Women can't rightly be called autonomous if they stay with abusive or even emotionally challenged lovers; say "yes" to sex when they really mean "no";  overeat or undereat to hide their sexuality.

With wit and grace, Karen Lehrman offers in The Lipstick Proviso a way to complete the feminist revolution, and clearly establishes herself as the definitive voice of the next generation of feminism.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In 1997, all but the most unenlightened will grant that women should be considered equal to men, but the big question--What does "equal" mean?--still wants for an answer. According to Karen Lehrman, feminism's spirit of gender equity should be subject to a proviso, namely that "women don't have to sacrifice their individuality, or even their femininity--whatever that means to each of them--in order to be equal." The payoff is that "we no longer have to deny or fear differences between the sexes--even if those differences turn out to be firmly rooted in biology." So, she argues, it's okay if a woman wants to eschew assertiveness in her personal life, prefers take-charge guys as mates, and yes, (pace Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth) wears short skirts and lipstick. Or not. It's all up to her. There is no single personal or political agenda that makes you a "sister." Lehrman contrasts this stance to what she sees as the victim-speak, group-think positions of such feminist icons as Wolf, Andrea Dworkin, and Susan Faludi. Feminism, says Lehrman, shouldn't mean orthodoxy; it should mean freedom.

From Library Journal

Journalist Lehrman presents a calm, reasoned, readable, and personal response to the question, What ever happened to American feminism? She essentially sees feminism as individually experienced and expressed, requiring a measure of individual responsibility and maturity. She is also prepared to give selective credit to feminist writers and theorists with whom she profoundly disagrees on central issues. However, she will part company with many when she states, for example, "Women are not 'oppressed' in the United States" and with her repeated opposition to "political," i.e., governmental, solutions to women's issues, like affirmative action programs. Her commentary at such times verges on the glib, seeming more to reflect her own comfortable situation than the experience of less-fortunate women. However, her book will serve as an effective balance to those works by theorists deemed more extreme. For all collections.?Barbara Hutcheson, Greater Victoria P.L., B.C.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Doubleday; 1 Anchor edition (April 14, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385474814
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385474818
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6 x 1.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,580,425 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
2.7 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars FINALLY-A LOGICAL VIEW OF FEMINISIM, August 2, 1997
By A Customer
This review is from: The Lipstick Proviso (Hardcover)
After reading so many books by feminist authors it is wonderful to finally read a book that validates what I knew in my gut all along and was faulted for by "feminists"---its OK to be "feminine" and powerful at the same time. Its ok to be sexy and successful simultaneously. Men and women are different. We should revel in the difference and use the difference to enhance our position in our personal and professional lives. I now know that I am an "equity feminist". This book taught me that not all feminists are alike! I hope there are more books by this wonderful level headed realistic author. The quote from the book that has stayed with me is something along the lines of "I believe in equality of opportunity-not equality of result"!!
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5 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Elitist nonsense., June 28, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: The Lipstick Proviso (Hardcover)
In this book, Lehrman seems intent on telling women to embrace the worst of "feminism": an obsession with power and status, as defined in traditionally "male" terms; a preoccupation with physical attractiveness as an avenue to said power and status (although this is clearly a tool that only a handful of women actually have at their disposal); a truly odious lack of concern for women who don't belong to the "Cosmo" world of wealth and beauty, and who don't live in the priveleged quarters of Manhattan; and a telling disdain for more politically-oriented feminists who are actually concerned with helping women as a whole, and society as a whole, rather than simply helping themselves. When are "feminists" like Ms. Lehrman going to get it? Empowering women doesn't mean getting them to emulate the worst in men. It means changing society's value system to one that values love, respect, and humanity more than money, status and power.
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0 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars Q: What do feminists want? A: Whatever they want., June 22, 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: The Lipstick Proviso (Hardcover)
While surveying the landscape of contemporary feminism, this confused book does little more than reiterate Barbie's "girls can do anything message". The book tries to be a mixture of opinion based on survey data and some findings from science, while at the same time critiquing such writers as Faludi and Wolf. Some of it's good, some is horrendous.
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