Customer Reviews

Liquid Ass

5 star:		(143)
4 star:		(28)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

My bottle of liquid ass arrived in the mail the other day. I wanted to try it at home before unleashing it at work. Entering the kitchen, I sprayed one tiny little "poof" and waited. Within one minute, the kitchen smelled as if an entire college football offensive line had overdone it at the taco stand the previous night.

It was so bad that the cat came into the kitchen and was scraping the bare tile floor with his paw as if he was trying to cover up a huge invisible turd! I've owned other fart sprays that didn't quite smell "right". But Liquid Ass really smells like the real deal.

One word of advice: This is best used in a room with more than 3 people. Crowded dance floors at weddings is ideal! For maximum enjoyment, do not overdo it. Only the worst of genuine human farts are capable of clearing a room. This stuff is extremely powerful so use sparingly to preserve realism. Also, do not let ANYONE know that you have this stuff. As soon as they find out, the fun is over.

Have fun!

I bought two bottles of this stuff last week after seeing all the online pranks and reviews. I was not disappointed in the least. Liquid A*s is without a doubt the foulest smell I have ever encountered in my twenty nine years life.

The only way I can explain the smell is imagine putting a pile of cat crap in a bathtub full of rotten eggs, and urine that has been farted, and vomited in, then left to sit in the sun for a couple weeks. Two squirts of it had my wife gagging and me rolling on the floor laughing. It is truly a soul shattering smell.

If you love playing jokes on unsuspected victims this is the product for you, but be warned. Liquid A*s puts off a smell that could end a marriage. lol

Just to point something out here... this stuff does not smell like a fart. If you think it does, check your drawers. It smells like ass. A big, hairy, poorly wiped, rarely washed, possibly diseased, decaying ass. It is so real, you'll swear you can smell the hairs in it. I'm actually suspicious that it might not be artificial ingredients, but actual residue from someone's crack. It is THAT bad!

I tried it at work. Nailed the elevator good, and watched one person after another step in, and immediately step out and opt for the stairs. Only one flight of stairs, but that was a blessing by comparison even for the morbidly-obese woman who also opted to take the stairs. Tried it in the office. Thankfully my neighbor happened to have a fan aiming away from my own desk. I heard everything from "shart" to "dead rat" to "they must be cleaning dead frogs out of the vents again." One older gentleman actually went to the bathroom to check his own pants, just in case.

I would never recommend this as cologne.

Liquid Ass is a great name for this product. It is absolutely atrocious. Be prepared to vomit if you get too big a bite of this clear, vile fluid. Sprayed some(6-7 sprays) in an elevator as I got off, and it still smelled when I rode it back down 5 hours later. By that time it had weakened and simply gave me the impression that someone with a fair amount of dog crap on their shoes had just exited.

Recommend for screwing with friends and enemies alike. Spraying door handles is a cruel way to go. Disgusting.

If you are sent to hell, surely this is the smell you will suffer for all of eternity.

I bought two bottles of this stuff last week after seeing all the online pranks and reviews. I was not disappointed in the least. Liquid A*s is without a doubt the foulest smell I have ever encountered in my twenty nine years life.

The only way I can explain the smell is imagine putting a pile of cat crap in a bathtub full of rotten eggs, and urine that has been farted, and vomited in, then left to sit in the sun for a couple weeks. Two squirts of it had my wife gagging and me rolling on the floor laughing. It is truly a soul shattering smell.

If you love playing jokes on unsuspected victims this is the product for you, but be warned. Liquid A*s puts off a smell that could end a marriage. lol

I had forgotten I even ordered this stuff, so when I got it in the mail, I wasn't sure what it was. However, I could actually smell this stuff THROUGH the packaging, so I soon remembered.

This stuff really does smell like some sort of feces, mixed with B.O. and urine, and perhaps even a hint of vomit.
So far, all I have done is use two sprays in a friend's dorm room when he was in the shower. I closed the door and hung out in his neighbor's (our friends) dorm room with the door open so I could hear his reaction. From the time I sprayed it, it took my friend about 5 minutes to finish showering and go back to his room. He was revolted when he opened his door and was yelling swear words and asking everyone "Who did this?! Who put ****, or puke, or a stink bomb in my room?!" Fortunately, everyone was laughing just as much as I was, so I wasn't accused of anything (I'm terrible at keeping a straight face). He opened his windows and door AND sprayed Febreeze all over his room to try to get the smell out. The Febreeze actually worked for a couple of minutes, but then the smell returned and lasted for a good half an hour more. I don't know how the company did it. My best bet is that all of the employees refrained from going to the bathroom for 3 straight days. Then they all peed in a pool, took a huge steamy crap in that pool, and then waited 4 years until the entire pool of waste evaporated and condensed. They simply have to be bottling this stuff at the source. It just smells too real.

Pros:
- Cheap
- Smells like the real deal
- Extremely strong
- Lasts long
- Since you know what it is, it doesn't bother you too bad. Kind of like your own farts.

Cons:
- You have to keep it a secret, or else your fun is ruined...
- You have to endure it
- The closed spray bottle itself smells bad.
- Wherever you store it will stink.
- You have to use caution when you use it or it will stick to you and you will smell like it.

***EDIT***: I took this stuff to the movie theaters when my friends and I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 (in a zip-lock bag, because otherwise, my coat pocket, and anywhere I was standing/sitting, would stink). Anyway, there were about 10-15 high schoolers sitting directly behind my friends and I, and they were being EXTREMELY obnoxious. ...... :) ...... So, I simply whipped out the LIQUID ASS, squirted just one spray (followed by another, because I got too excited). I held it between my legs and sprayed it backwards under my seat, right in the heart of these high school monkeys. Needless to say, they (obnoxiously) couldn't stand the smell, and it actually caused them to split up and sit in random empty seats around the theater. (It was packed full of people, opening night). Sure, my friends and I had to endure 15 minutes of disgust, and almost gagging, but it was well worth it, because we could finally hear the movie :) By the way, we were sitting ALL THE WAY in the front. Still, even 2 or 3 rows back, people were noticing the smell. Keep in mind, this was in a rather large movie theater room.

HOLY CRAP...LITERALLY
I watched videos of people smelling this stuff and thought they were just being over dramatic or the company was just using actors to try and sell the product....NEWSFLASH...its legit. I opened the package and sprayed one small squirt on a paper towel, held it up to my nose and took a small sniff...at first it wasn't that bad...so i stupidly did the mistake of sniffing yet another time....I gagged soooo bad and my eyes teared up. Of course the reason I got this stuff was to play a joke, so I sprayed some more on a paper towel and put the paper towel in a ziplock bag. I went and picked my sister up with a friend and was going to the store (I was in the front seat, she was in the back) I opened the ziplock to get some air in, then had it almost shut but had a small hole left, and squeezed to rush air out of the bag. Not five seconds later she yelled, "OH MY GOD, SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE SH**!" It was the funniest thing ever. Of course I didn't let her know about it so we got about half a mile down the road and I did it again. She yelled, "Seriously?! I thought the smell was something we passed by, but that was four blocks ago! Did one of yall sh** yalls pants?!" At that point I couldn't hold it together anymore and had to confess. This stuff is definitely worth it!

I have a problem.... A mother in law problem. She and her husband are the most racist, homophobic and awful people I know. She's currently embroiled in legal battles with 6 different parties and she spends her days being as offensive and contentious as possible. We try to have as little to do with them as decorum allows, but sometimes it can't be avoided even though we are many states away. They tend to extend their visits and spring that they are staying with us without asking. We've approached the situation maturely, but never got the results we wanted. His mother always pretended the "you can't stay with us for 2 weeks right as I am about to give birth" conversation never happened. This time I was prepared... with a bottle of liquid ass.

I crept into our guestroom a few hours before they arrived. I put on our most disgusting stained sheets from our college days, and under them I placed tissues sprayed with liquid ass. 6 squirts on each side. Imagine if you will: an outhouse outside of a chili stand baking in 95 degree heat; A dead cat in a Louisiana Swamp, and the ass sweat of the world's fattest man combined into one trifecta of trifling. It was a smell that could cause a pregnant woman to miscarry.


An hour later the room was rank, so I turned on the fan to disburse the smell above the sheets. The plan was for it to smell HORRIBLE under the sheets, but not above. Something that they would notice too late to ask for different sheets. (We decided to go to bed early so that they could not make such requests.) It worked perfectly, above the sheets the air was fresh, but once inside I'm sure it was like a dutch oven with infected ass.


The next morning they inquired where I got the bed (I am sure that they thought it came from the dump.) I explained that my grandparents had gifted it to me, and my mother in law said "That explains everything." Guess who didn't hang around long after that?

I hope that this will deter future visits, but I know it cut this one short and for that I thank thee Liquid ass!

I've finally figured out what this stuff smells like - Warm elephant ass. It's as if you just put your face right up there while an elephant was doing its business. I've been to the zoo, and this is what their cages smell like. Somehow, Liquid Ass actually conjures the heat of a turd in their spray. You feel like you need a shower after smelling it.

I bought a bottle of this stuff and used it and I'll simply say that it is incredibly effective no matter what your intended use is.

My neighbor and I have anyways been playing pranks on each other. One day he apparently ordered this stuff. He comes dashing out of his house with it in front of him as I was mowing my lawn. Running at me I think to myself "IS THAT PEPPER SPRAY?!" and back up. He comes within a meter of me and I hear a spraying sound. Turns out he got too excited and had the squirt nossel pointing towards his face. It hit him directly on the lips. I enjoyed the next 30 minutes watching my neighbor roll on the ground, vomit, and attempt to wash the liquid off of his face with a hose.

After the incident, my neighbor wanted the spray out of his site so he vowed to give it too me as long as I don't use it on him. I use it everywhere and it is the funniest thing. Smells terrible, worth a thousand laughs. Not that much in the bottle so use sparingly unless you buy a few!