and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Qty:1
  • List Price: $18.95
  • Save: $3.20 (17%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
Want it tomorrow, April 17? Order within and choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Used: Good | Details
Sold by RentU
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: Fast shipping from Amazon! Qualifies for Prime Shipping and FREE standard shipping for orders over $25. Overnight, 2 day and International shipping available! Excellent Customer Service.. May not include supplements such as CD, access code or DVD.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell?
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships Paperback


See all 2 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from Collectible from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$15.75
$9.89 $4.77

Frequently Bought Together

Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships + Listening: The Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guide + Bridges Not Walls: A Book About Interpersonal Communication
Price for all three: $112.69

Some of these items ship sooner than the others.

Buy the selected items together

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $2.99 (Save 65%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.


Image
Looking for the Audiobook Edition?
Tell us that you'd like this title to be produced as an audiobook, and we'll alert our colleagues at Audible.com. If you are the author or rights holder, let Audible help you produce the audiobook: Learn more at ACX.com.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Petersen Publications; 1st edition (January 8, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0979155908
  • ISBN-13: 978-0979155901
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #108,163 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

What an eye-opener! When I started the book I thought I was a good listener. Now I know better. I am a card carrying listener/talker now. Insightful, thought provoking and thoroughly enjoyable to read. --Jim Misko, Northwest Ventures Press, Anchorage, AK

Why Don t We Listen Better? is a sensible guide to transforming verbal confrontation habits into good, healthy communication. Best of all, it comes with a Talker-Listener Card that provides a handy tool for practice. I carry the TLC in my wallet to introduce others to this listening strategy or as a reminder to keep even the most difficult and challenging conversations on a positive track by listening rather than trying to win. --Ben Vose, Astoria, OR

At last! The ingenious little card gets its due. I have used them for years. I keep one by each phone to remind me to be present in conversations with friends, family and clients. They enhance relationships with children (especially teenagers), with partners, and with parents. Why Don t We Listen Better? will open your eyes (and ears) to a new world of effective communication techniques. Pam Gross, B.A.Ed., Co-author of Want to Find a New Better Fantastic Job?, Founder of CareerMakers Inc., Portland, OR USA --Pam Gross, CareerMakers, Portland, OR

Review

Dr. Petersen's practical guide to better communication not only answers the title question, but takes the reader and user of his techniques on a journey into a higher quality of life … This is more than a self-help book. I've used it to teach communication skills and insights in my marriage and family course in college.
–Gerald W. Bertsch, B.A., M.Div. Retired pastor. Current author, teacher, and consultant.
Fond du Lac, WI


“The Talker/Listener Card is a simple idea that is enormously useful! I have used it and the book to great effect in many areas of ministry. I have used the concepts in pre-marital counseling, deacon training, Stephen Ministry, and youth ministry. It has been a vitally helpful tool in communication in my marriage and with our children, too.” Laurie Vischer, M.A. M.Div., Associate Pastor for Congregational Care, Westminster Presbyterian Church Portland, OR

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
5 star
23
4 star
4
3 star
1
2 star
0
1 star
2
See all 30 customer reviews
I will be buying more copies to give as wedding gifts.
Kate R Nelson
The concepts and practices of the book are amazing tools which will change the way you communicate daily, or in dyads or groups to pursue better human understanding.
Grace
He describes with great clarity and detail, interactions behind the communication process.
Snevets

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Peter A. Mcgovern on January 31, 2008
Format: Paperback
This book was recommended by a psychiatrist friend of mine. It was well written (although I did find some typos) and contained information new to me.

I found two concepts that were particularly useful:

1. The 'flat brain' theory &
2. The 'talker-listener' card strategy.

The 'flat-brain' theory explains why it is hard to listen when emotions are involved. And the author's description of the 'talker listener' card strategy provides a detailed and clearly-explained methodology for both listening AND being heard.

The author's common-sense explanations of listening techniques add quite a lot to the value of the book and obviously have been honed over the years through the author's experience as a pastoral counselor.

My wife and I read this book to each other, and spent a lot of time discussing the content as we went along. I highly recommend this method of reading. Now we both use the 'talker-listener' method when discussing 'hot' topics. It helps us listen to each other's point of view and we usually both feel 'heard' even when we disagree. I also find myself listening better almost anytime I find myself with someone who is talking.

Over-all, if you are in the market for a book that will make a big difference in your ability to communicate (talk and listen) in difficult situations, then this is your book!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Angela S. Sullivan on March 13, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Peterson uses creative imagery to describe poor communication habits and the relational dysfunction that occurs when we fail to listen to one another. He has termed the phrase, "flat brain theory" to explain what happens when we allow our emotions to affect our thinking which in turns affects our relating. Emotions are often felt in the stomach area. When we are afraid, we have a feeling in the pit of our stomach. We often describe excitement as butterflies in our stomach. Many people state they have a "gut feeling" about something. The brain area describes our cognitive functioning relating to facts. We use our brains to come to conclusions or evaluate facts and eventually make our case. The heart area describes the actual desire to relate. In its natural state, it operates from a win-win mode. It gives and takes, listens and speaks. Healthy communication requires an individual to use his brain to state the facts, his stomach to express how he feels about the facts and his heart to use that information to relate to another individual in a fair, loving way.

Petersen suggests that often unresolved conflicts or other emotions reside in our feeling area (stomach) when they are not properly dealt with. When an opportunity arises, those unresolved feelings will often swell up into a vast array of emotional responses. This swelling process expands the stomach area (figuratively) which in turn flattens the heart and subsequently the brain area. As this happens, the squished brain does not function properly and this affects the hearing, seeing, and speaking of the affected person. In addition, the squished heart is no longer functioning from a loving win-win stance, but instead becomes defensive and attacks.
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Gerald W. Bertsch on July 30, 2007
Format: Paperback
Dr. Petersen's practical guide to better communication not only answers the question that is the title of his book, but takes the reader and user of his techniques (the innovative TALKER/Listener card) on a journey into a higher quality of life. Good relationships start with clear communication of expectations, feelings, and desires. They flourish when we help each other listen carefully to the deeper meaning of what we say by practicing basic fairness with each other and by offering equal opportunity to our partners to speak and be heard correctly. This is more than a self-help book. I've used it to teach communication skills and insights in my marriage and family course in college. I recommend highly.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Margaret J. Rystrom on April 17, 2007
Format: Paperback
Being a nursing student I need to be able to hear what others are telling me and then have the skills to listen even harder. I deal with a lot of people that communicate differently than I do and don't have a lot of time to get to know them. This book helped, and continues to help me, do my job.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Grace on October 11, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I was assigned this book as part of a grad school course. At first glimpse, I thought it was too simple of a book. Ha! I was wrong! The concepts and practices of the book are amazing tools which will change the way you communicate daily, or in dyads or groups to pursue better human understanding. This book is on my mental list of most life impacting reads ever. The power of listening cannot be overstated in my book, but it was not until I read this book that I understood the importance. Love it!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Deb Pollard on October 17, 2008
Format: Paperback
Using the Talker Listener process saved my marriage several years ago and continues to help my husband and I communicate hot button topics with each other. We tend to start arguing and then bring out the card, not what is suggested, but once the card is there in the middle it kind of becomes a referee in our exchanges. We play by the rules, no one gets hurt and problems are solved.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Maren Schmidt on May 18, 2008
Format: Paperback
Jim Petersen's book, Why Don't We Listen Better?, is easy to read and easy to follow. If you are in a crisis communication situation, you can start on the road to communicating better in less than an hour with the talk-listen card that is included with the book.

Using the talk-listen card helps relieve tension by allowing participants to focus on the job they should be doing at the time. This technique makes talking about things you might be upset about less intimidating and scary.

If I could be Queen For A Day, I'd ask that everyone learn the techniques presented in this book, and be a "card-carrying" listener.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Product Images from Customers

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search
ARRAY(0x9f88dc24)

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?