Customer Reviews

Listening to Midlife

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

By midlife, many people derive their personal identities from college degrees, marriage, careers, children, and their material possessions. In our middle years, Freud says that we look for ourselves in work and love. "Inexplicable exhaustion, mysterious pain, insomnia, uncontrollable crying, profound dissatisfaction at work" are all symptoms of a midlife transition (p. 22). "Deny your body's message too long," Mark Gerzon warns, "and you may get sick. Deny your mind's warnings, and you may go crazy. Deny your soul too long, and you may lose it" (p. 36).

I arrived at this book adrift at 43, with my life in transition, yearning for a greater sense of authenticity in my life. "In the second half of life," Gerzon writes, "our old compasses no longer work. The magnetic fields alter. The new compass that we need cannot be held in our hand, only in our heart. We read it not with our mind alone, but with our soul . . . Now we yearn for wholeness" (p. 5). In his insightful examination of body, marriage, work, aging, our planet, and spirituality, Gerzon reassures us that "aging has meaning" (p. 182). He encourages to adjust our thinking to view a midlife transition as a natural opportunity for personal growth, rather than as a crisis. Seen this way, the "private, lonely, and often unchartered journey" (p. 107) through midlife becomes a time for "healing deep wounds, seeking our soul/mate, caring for our families, committing ourselves to a true Calling, respecting the aging process and our elders" (p. 220). It is a time, Gerzon writes, for having the "ultimate affair with the ultimate stranger: your shadow" (p. 109). Midlife is an opportunity for transformation, for facing the shadows of our personalty (p. 81), for paying attention to disillusionments (p. 109), for bringing heaven down into our daily lives (pp. 263-64), and for listening to our dreams, our "inner elders" (p. 274).

This five-star book offers wisdom and clarity to any reader attempting to make sense of the journey through midlife.

G. Merritt

I discovered this book early in my crisis. Three years later I still routinely consult Gerzon's wisdom. I've read volumes trying to find my through what he calls The Forest Dark, and no words have rung truer than those found in Listening to Midlife. It's a masterpiece and, for those of us with a malfunctioning compass, a light to guide us through what can be the most terrifying time of adult life. His best advice: Have the Ultimate Affair with the Ultimate Stranger - Your Shadow.

Mark has been there, he knows the way through.

I was totally confused about where I was and where I wanted to go with the rest of my life. Mark Gerzon gives wonderful examples of others that have faced similar questions in their own life from Buzz Aldrin to many of his own everyday patients. Although not every chapter was of interest, I found this to be an excellent jumping off place for my own quest to integrate my "Shadow Side" with the successful life I had achieved so far. I wish I had read this before I started my own search for my "second half of my life" identity.

I read these reviews, but I've never written one. I feel it's necessary here, however.

If, like me, you are looking for a book about midlife changes that is intelligent and respectful, written by a man, for men then this is it. You may have already searched the internet for "midlife crisis" or looked for books about midlife. If you did, then like me, you found a lot of books for women on how to survive their man's midlife crisis. You found books for Christians in midlife. You found spiritual books about all sorts of life changes, mostly written by women. I was looking for answers, explanations and options and I wanted to hear them from a fellow man who had a)experienced these changes like me and b)done all the homework & reading for me. This book was absolutely everything I needed. Gerzon is well-read and an engaging writer, and he says in this book exactly what anyone (it's not really "for men", it's for anyone, and many of the examples he uses are women) experiencing midlife changes needs to hear: you're not alone, it's OK to be lost because our culture's a little backwards, providing no models or rituals for aging proudly or beautifully, and here are a myriad of ways you can get grounded and find your own path through the 2nd half of life. The better half of life.

I just finished it tonight and went searching for more of the same, but found the same books from my first search. Maybe I'll read this one again?

I believe that most mid-life crises are grounded in a palpable dread of getting old. Nothing in our culture, media, or general perception of life, tells us anything positive about aging so it's no wonder that everyone is running out to get Botox or sinking into mid-life depression.

I read this book to help out a male friend in crisis, and ended up helping myself. As a woman, I have come to view aging as form of death-sentence. I search my face to see if I have any wrinkles and often long to be 22 again. This book gives an accurate and scathing critique of the culture in which we live where aging has become a "disease" or something to be battled. I learned that fear of aging is a form of self-hatred; after all, what is the alternative to growing older? Dying young! This youth-obssessed society has made a whole segment of our population feel disenfranchised, ignored, and repulsive. It is shameful. If you're freaked out about getting on, read this book.

This book is a must for anyone dealing with the uncertainty of midlife! I more than related to the content and have given this book as a gift to more than one friend as they entered midlife. You will be surprised how much sense it all makes when you read this book, and you'll be ever thankful that you took this review to heart!

I have come across this book totally accidentaly at my 37. After just reading of the first 20 pages I felt like a huge load of worry and stress came off my shoulders. I can't emphasize enough on the importance of the information you find in this book. Great examples, explanations and analysis assure you that it's OK to be confused, lost and dissapointed at the time of your midlife jorney. It was a life saving message for me! Thank you Mark very much.

This is an insightful book about the reassessment that we often do when we enter mid-life. While, we often say " you are as old as you feel", the ages and stages related to them as we enter another phase of life, do matter. This book provides a good perspective with many examples. Luckily, they are not too folksy as often happens in these types of books.

Was looking for a book to help understand my ex husbands midlife crises but found that this book was meant for me instead. What a God Send! Has helped me understand the complex nature of unraveling what I thought was the "forever me" and is helping me plan the second half of my life. (This time without scripts from my parents, X, or friends.) Watch out! Could change your life.

Not exactly what I was looking for as an answer to my questions. Still it can be a good read for someone whose questions about the life phase are just begining. I on the other hand have passed or am not questioning areas that the book addresses. Well written however and I do recommend it.