A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door [Paperback]

Hannah Seligson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 29, 2009

Quiz: Are You “A Little Bit Married”?
We’ve been dating for more than a year.
I talk on the phone with his parents.
We go on vacations with each other’s families.
We’re planning to live together (or already do).
I often wonder, “Where is this going?”

Do I just wait around? How can I be sure this person is really “The One”? If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. It’s the dawning of an age when we’re not in any hurry to reach the milestones—house, spouse, and kids—that once marked adulthood, although we’d like to get there . . . soon.

In this practical, no-holds-barred guide, Hannah Seligson delivers an eye-opening look at why serial long-term relationships have become the new romantic rite of passage. From making life-changing sacrifices for your partner to dealing with doubts, Seligson explains how to make the most of this ambiguous state, including:
• What are the signs s/he’s ready for long-term commitment?
• How do you make decisions about careers, cohabitation, and religion when there isn’t a ring?
• What’s the best way to mention the “M” word to a commitment-phobe?
• How long should you stay A Little Bit Married before tying the knot . . . or moving on?

Combining expert advice with compelling anecdotes, A Little Bit Married will provide you with the roadmap you need to survive the life stage post–“Let’s Do It!” and pre–“I Do.”

Editorial Reviews

Review

Bookviews.com, January 2010
“The author takes a look at a major trend in dating these days, the long-term unmarried relationship. She provides the context for why young people are delaying marriage…This is a kind of modern day marriage advice manual, but without interpreting marriage in purely legal terms and it is full of very good advice.”

Tucson Citizen, 1/8/10
“Provides a roadmap to successfully navigating the long-term relationship…[Seligson’s] book includes the Cohabitation Commandments that should be memorized by anyone even thinking of entering ‘a little bit married’ arrangement.”

Feministing.com, 1/11/2010
“[A] research-packed, story-rich, sociological-self-help hybrid…Seligson coins a long overdue term for something so many of us have experienced.”

InfoDad.com, 1/14/2010
“[Seligson’s] advice is straightforward and unexceptionable…And some of her post-feminist logic is compelling…The most useful element of Seligson’s book is her discussion of how to decide whether the person you are living with is ‘the One.’…Seligson’s chapter on how to break up is also useful…[A Little Bit Married] provides solidarity and more than a little bit of good advice.”

Christine Whelan, author of Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women on Huffington Post, 1/26/10
“A well-researched and cleverly written pop-sociology self-help book.”

SheWrites.com, 1/26/10
“Uncovers and spotlights a major trend in dating today: the long-term unmarried relationship…Sheds light on a phenomenon that everyone does, knows someone who does, or is related to someone who does, but no one has named. Blending advice with the context of why young people are delaying marriage, Hannah creates a hybrid with A Little Bit Married, mixing cultural commentary with the language of the traditional how-to.”

Publishers Weekly, starred review, 2/1/10
“Seligson’s tidy handbook takes a clarifying look at the confusing and often frustrating world of long-term relationships…Putting extensive research into practical, everyday language, Seligson starts by defining the phenomenon with both broad social context and acute symptoms, developing snappy common-sense lessons. Practical advice for making decisions and carrying through follows.”

CampusProgress.org, 2/13/10
“Seligson seeks to explore the gray area between dating and marriage…The book is prescriptive for an era in which ‘you now get your marriage training wheels with your first mini-marriage.’”

TheFasterTimes.com, 2/16/10
“What distinguishes ALBM from other books in this genre is Seligson’s gently prodding tone. Her advice is never too specific; instead she asks her readers valuable, self-reflective questions.”

San Francisco Book Review and Sacramento Book Review, March 2010
“[A] fascinating new book…Written primarily for a female audience, but with an open and engaging style that appeals to men as well, A Little Bit Married helps readers answer these hard questions and understand their own complicated relationships. Everyone, from disapproving parents to free spirits, should read this book.”

London Free Press, 3/8/10
“Dissects the murky stage of living together without marriage.”

 

Midwest Book Review, February 2010
“A resource [that] those looking for that lifetime commitment should look into.”

 

Kansas City Star, 7/7/10

“Read this book if you've ever been in a serious dating relationship…You can tell it’s written by someone in their 20s because of how well it captures the feeling of what it’s like to be a in a serious relationship at that age…If you’re a parent wondering why your kid is getting so serious with somebody, this might offer you an explanation. And if you’re a woman who isn’t sure how to talk the future with your partner, you could learn ways to broach the topic.”

 

BookIdeas.com, July 2010

“Anyone who finds themselves in a relationship at such a crossroads can learn some lessons from this book. If one has a friend in such straights, this might be a good gift book for that person.”

About the Author

Hannah Seligson is a journalist and author of New Girl on the Job, featured in USA Today, Glamour, and the New York Times. A graduate of Brown University, she lives in New York.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books; 1 edition (December 29, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738213160
• ISBN-13: 978-0738213163
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,015,274 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Hannah Seligson is a regular contributor to The New York Times Sunday Business Section, where she writes about Gen. Y, the workplace, and innovation, among other topics. Her work has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and Slate.com.

Hannah first book, New Girl on the Job: Advice from the Trenches, a career guide for young women, was called "a must-read for every woman entering the work world" by the Houston Business Journal and the Washington Post said that it "covers the key things any young women needs to know to thrive at those first couple of jobs."

In 2010, De Capo Press published Hannah's second book, A Little Bit Married: How to Know When it's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or out the Door, about the long-term unmarried relationship. The book was optioned for a television series by CBS.

Hannah's professional speaking includes conference and seminar presentations at universities, business associations and corporations. Recent speaking engagements have included Harvard Business School, Viva, Beijing Professional Women's Network, and the Culinary Institute of America.

She has been featured in news outlets such as The Today Show, Fox News, USA Today, and Glamour.
Hannah serves as a mentor-editor at the Op-Ed Project. She graduated with a B.A. from Brown University in 2004.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars ALBM - the new relationship roadmap January 28, 2010

By Casie Zimmerman

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

The book is stuffed with important advice, thought provoking questions, and serious real-life issues that most young adults face with relationships today. It is a great opportunity to take one's relationship through many commitment levels in a healthy, open, and thought-through progression. "ALBM" is practical and even essential to positive growth for many types of relationships. It is precisely illustrative of modern relationship obstacles and how to avoid or deal with the bumps along the way!

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars if this is the only one you buy... May 23, 2011

By Monica Caroline

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

bought this after reading a review of it on bustedhalo.com. I really love it, I have bought a few books in this genre already and this is my favorite. Most of the other books read like a Cosmo article but this one is smart.

4 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Discusses marriage from both sides February 13, 2010

By Midwest Book Review

Format:Paperback

The test drive analogy for marriage is more than just a euphemism for premarital sex. "A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door" discusses marriage from both sides, as Hannah Seligson draws on her own experience. Seligson offers her thoughts on when's the right time to commit for the long haul, the dangers of commitment and why people fear it, and why testing the waters can prevent one from becoming a hasty divorcee. "A Little Bit Married" is a resource for those looking for that lifetime commitment should look into.

6 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An idea that has been waiting for a name! January 14, 2010

By Marci Alboher

Format:Paperback

Hannah Seligson has finally put a name to something that has been going on for a while even though no one knew what to call it. And I have a feeling "a little bit married" will soon be an established part of the lexicon we use to describe a type of relationship that looks a whole lot like a marriage without being one. We've all either been there ourselves or know folks who are living it, and it's great that there's a now a smart book looking at why so many people today are "a little bit married."