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The Little Book on Meaning: Why We Crave It, How We Create It

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Welcome to the age of instant information. Life moves at the speed of light, and yet, at the end of the day, have we really accomplished so much more? Probably not. Our attention has been split into so many different directions that it's harder and harder for us to focus on what's really important. There is so much cultural "noise" to weed through.

As an interfaith minister and life coach, author Laura Berman Fortgang frequently hears, "Let me understand my place. That will bring me peace." I think many of us can relate to this desire. We all want to believe that our lives and experiences have meaning, and yet our understanding of "it" is rather elusive.

"So what is this mysterious thing calling Meaning?" In her newest book, The Little Book on Meaning: Why We Crave It, How We Create It, Fortgang writes, "It's something we humans all want . . . Meaning is something we feel more than something we do. Meaning is a state of consciousness. It comes tumbling forth from connection-to ourselves, each other, the earth, spirit, work, or even an inanimate object. A necklace is not meaningful in itself, but when we connect with the time, place, and person who gave it to us, it takes on a new specialness. It takes on meaning. It enters our consciousness as something precious we will take care with."

Consciousness . . . connection. We crave it, but how do we create it? To help us, Fortgang has chaptered her book into a series of M words (M for Meaning, of course) - Mystery, Minister, Magnificence, Mind & Mystic. She takes us through these topics "in the hopes that they will serve as markers on your path as you continue to search for your own meaning." She succeeds brilliantly as she weaves personal stories through her teachings. At points where I thought the book may be getting too deep for my understanding, Fortgang would cite the perfect anecdote or example that would leave me with an "aha" moment or the feeling I'd been wrapped in a hug of awareness.

If you are struggling with feeling lost in this crazy world of information overload, read Laura Berman Fortgang's The Little Book on Meaning. It will speak to you in a profound and deeply personal way. And perhaps, you will discover your own meaning and purpose. With Fortgang's help, it isn't difficult . . .

"It is one of the great ironies that while our hunger for a 'meaningful' life can be enormous, these days more and more of our desire for meaning is ultimately satiated by smaller, quieter aspects of our lives. Meaning is where you look for it-and also how you look for it." ~ Laura Berman Fortgang

Laura Berman Fortgang wrote The Little Book on Meaning: Why We Crave It, How We Create It shortly after being ordained an interfaith minister. In it, she undertakes a quest for sources of individual meaning in the hurried, contemporary world. She writes, "Jewish boys don't ride motorcycles and Jewish girls don't become ministers... But my brother owns a Harley and I've become an interfaith minister. My Jewish father doesn't quite know what to make of it..." Fortgang herself didn't, for many years, quite know what to make of life itself. This book records her thoughts after exploring what it might mean to be human. Thanks to her training in interfaith ministry, she draws sustenance from the faith traditions of cultures around the world through time, from sources like A Course in Miracles and from understanding the value of gratitude.

In looking for meaning, she's looking for ways to "ease the pain," she says, to find an inner source of joy, especially in twenty-first-century North American culture, where humans often need help to do that--help that many people find outside traditional religions. Already a life coach before she completed her seminary course, Fortgang evidently wanted to go to deeper levels in her desire to help people succeed. She was, of course, also working to help herself.

Fortgang arranges this spiritual exploration of meaning into five sections: Mystery, Minister, Magnificence, Mind, and Mystic. Each begins with a brief thought or story to set the stage, a quotation, and a prayer addressed to a general higher power (referred to with a name like Energy of All Things or Great Mystery). The sections contain between two and four chapters. Each feels to me like a sermon on an aspect of the topic being considered. The tone walks an interesting line, sharing personal experiences of how each concept has played out in her own search for meaning while remaining a book about the general human condition. She mentions the challenges she has faced--giving up an early set of career dreams, depression including suicidal thoughts, anorexia and bulimia, parenting a child with significant health issues--in passing, almost as if they were credentials for speaking as she does (which, of course, they are).

Fortgang flat-out poses the question, "So what is this mysterious thing called Meaning?" She leaves the question hanging and circles it repeatedly, leaving the reader to gather thoughts toward a definition along the way: a sort of spiritual groundedness, a sense of connection, and a feeling of having a unique and solid place in the world. Near the end of the book (in the "Mystic" section), she comes closest to articulating a definition: "The emerging new spirituality is a desire to get rid of pretense and be real...Meaning...comes in the experience and the moment...Being full of love, peace, hope, compassion, patience, and appreciation for everything and connection to all things. These feelings make up meaning." While these statements feel like old news, in the preceding chapters Fortgang has earned the right to claim their rediscovery.

The reader also gradually collects a concept of the framework within which Fortgang is examining life. She believes in a higher power. She believes that humans have souls, and that each soul has an individual identity and dignity and, by implication, purpose. She believes that we have free will. She believes that many faith traditions have sustenance to offer.

I found the book intriguing, and also slightly frustrating. These are topics I care about a great deal and have for many years--and therein may lie my problem. The generalizations Fortgang offers rang true, although I found myself thinking, "Yes, but..." For example, she describes the goal of meditation (under "Mind") as a feeling of being mentally "blank": ("Yes, but...") At times, I also felt that Fortgang's realizations were colored by her own personality. For example, describing a stressful situation, she says, "I felt the normal, human pull to want to annihilate this person." My reaction in the same situation would have been different--perhaps because I was raised female in the Midwest, instead of Manhattan.

Overall, I see two great values to this work. One is for the individual seeker who finds that Fortgang's way of presenting the material is both comforting and challenging. Another is for small groups who may want to use it as source material for discussion about the deeper questions of life. I especially enjoyed the times when she drew together thoughts from disparate spiritual traditions. Whether readers agree with Fortgang's particulars or not--whether, as Quakers say, it speaks to the reader's condition--the book poses interesting questions and presents one human's path to some working answers.

I read this book in uncorrected page proofs. There were indications on the printout that additional clarification of some points would be taking place. Any writer who takes on matters of great complexity and scope with integrity deserves good, careful editorial reflection to help the final presentation be as precise as possible. I hope that occurred during the last stages of production for this title. What I saw in the rough pages was an honest, wide-ranging work that could be taken up a notch by fine editing.

by Deborah Robson
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

In the "Little Book on Meaning," Laura Berman Fortgang openly shares moments in her life - both short and long - of depression, fear and struggle, while living what others might see as a successful life filled with happiness and fulfillment. It's not that she doesn't have that life, too, but it's the "bite size" morsels of joy and meaning carved out of sometimes very challenging moments and events that have added depth, joy and meaning to her life.

Massaging Olive's hands is one of those moments she shares where she could so easily have turned away from the voice yelling from the other side of the door, "Go away!" Once the door was timidly opened, the instinct to offer, instead of food, a manicure brought Olive out of bed to the table. For Laura the lesson learned is, "the sacrifice it takes to let others into your life just might be worth it," refering to herself, of course, as the one allowing Olive into her life.

"Without pain," she tells us, "I would not have discovered I had a calling." So, from life coach to interfaith minister, we go on a reassuring journey watching her struggle, serve and search for meaning. While creating a fulfilling life, not a perfect life, she finds meaning in many small things.

After you have read "The Little Book on Meaning" for yourself and recognized what you, too, have gained from struggles and events both large and small, then it is time to share the "Little Book of Meaning" with a client, a relative, or a friend. It is just the right kind of book for sharing.

Do you reflect or even understand the meaning of your life?
Do you ever wonder or take time out to self discover who you are and why you are?
Do you have the capacity to love yourself unconditionally?
Do you know the difference between inner peace and happiness as opposed to outer peace and happiness?
Do you allow others judgments validate who you are?
Have you found your own spiritual balance?
Do you question your connection with things that live and breathe surround you?
These are just a few of the questions you will find answered in THE LITTLE BOOK OF MEANING.

[...] highly recommends 'THE LITTLE BOOK ON MEANING'..as an excellent thought provoking and inner challenge resource which not only stimulates self-questions but also teaches us...
..that our inner growth lives on throughout our children and their children as we watch and share in their own growth.
...that the challenges we are faced with each day are the building blocks to the strength and foundations of our character. If we do not experience challenge and learn to overcome it, we will stop growing internally, we would simply seize to exist inside of our minds.
... that the strength we need to continue to move forward comes from within your own core..these challenges play a vital part in pulling us forward and strengthening our own understanding of inner growth..hence the meaning of life.
...and that it is essentially all up to you!

Im not a fan of self help books, I might not even be qualified to judge them because I end of putting them down a few chapter in... I ended up picking up this book because it was on a low library bookshelf and my toddler was teething on it... I took it home (to hide any possible damage), and then opened it up when I had nothing else to read.

What struck me, were some personal stories that sounded somewhat agonizing. The author wasn't born with a sunny disposition or a Mother Teresa set of values and love for all (contrary to the claim of one reviewer here) ... this author had actually been through something, and this book is as much a memoir as it is a self help book. I, so far, haven't been steadfast or brave enough to try some of the things mentioned. One story that struck a chord was how she used to be prone to depression, and to get herself out she started monitoring every negative thought, which left her exhausted at the end of the day. It was her main exertion and took everything she had. Thinking positive when youre prone towards the negative is not easy. How many of as have actually gone the course? not many.

The saying goes: "those that can't do, teach".

That is not the case here.

This poignant, reflective book delivers a buffet of thought-morsels with brillant insight and gentle humor. The heart of it all is distilled for me in this sentence on page 106 "The gratitude we feel for the safety of being seen is our path to meaning." As a business coach, a life-long learner, and a spiritual quester myself, I reveled in the thoughts and discussions reading this book generated. It has assisted me with subtle shifts in my own thinking and thus, in my relationships, both personal and business. Thank you Laura Berman Fortgang!

'The Little Book on Meaning' is literally a little book but actually a huge quest on meaning. How do you put meaning in your life? Why and where do you find it? Profound questions that Laura Berman Fortgang answers in five words all beginning with M: Mystery, Minister, Magnificence, Mind, and Mystic.

Fortgang elaborates on how knowing does not always provide meaning. She explains that one of the best ways to find meaning in our lives is to give of ourselves to others. She also opens our eyes to the beauty of the world around us and within ourselves. By shutting our mouths and meditating, she says, we create a blankness that becomes the core of our life meaning. And by opening our minds to a higher level of consciousness and interconnectedness, "the worldly self and the spiritual self work as one."

Laura Fortgang's impact in this book comes from her personal experiences and challenges in life. She shares her bouts with depression and self-doubt, as well as her journey from darkness into light. Her insights into discovering meaning are drawn from her own transformations. She relates memorable and life-changing episodes that revealed special significance in her path from ordinary person to life coach to interfaith minister.

'The Little Book on Meaning' requires a slow and introspective read. It's not one that should be browsed or read in one sitting. Fortgang divulges her life's challenges, which we can easily relate to, but dovetails them with involved and pensive insights, which need to be deeply reflected on. Searching for meaning is a huge endeavor; this 'Little Book' is the best place to start. - Ruby Bayan, OurSimpleJoys.com

"It is one of the great ironies that while our hunger for a `meaningful' life can be enormous, these days, more and more, our desire for meaning is ultimately satiated by the smaller, quieter aspects of our lives. Meaning is where you look for it--and also how you look for it. Meaning is actually all around us, and the circumstances surrounding it can be like an Escher print. Life can look quite meaningless until we focus on a certain point or points and the picture changes." - From the book

As she began writing The Little Book on Meaning, spiritual coach and interfaith minister Laura Berman Fortgang found that additional "M" words flooded her thoughts--words such as Mystery, Magnificence and Mind.

In the complexity and hurriedness of modern life, attempting to determine Meaning--big M--may seem overwhelming, frustrating and, well, meaningless.

Helping readers refocus with a sure, gentle and (self admittedly) flawed hand, Fortgang reminds us that meaning is actually experienced during everyday occurrences. After all, much like a treasured keepsake, meaning is derived from context--for example, the who, where and why that's associated with a particular object or memory.

In The Little Book on Meaning, the author reveals the myriad opportunities for creating meaning. From food to relationships, service to embracing wounds (others and ours), meaning exists wherever we enlarge our focus, soften our gaze, suspend judgment, and open our hearts.

Even amidst challenging circumstances--such as parenting a disabled child, dealing with illness, losing a job, or navigating crushing disappointment--meaning can be created, encourages Fortgang.

Replete with mystical insight from worldwide spiritual practices, as well as personal anecdotes, vulnerable admissions and compassionate counsel, The Little Book on Meaning delivers chewy, soul-nurturing morsels for those ready to slow down, look around, and create meaning from the raw material of "ordinary" life. As The Little Book of Meaning says, "Meaning is a state of consciousness. It comes tumbling forth from connection--to ourselves, each other, the earth, spirit, work, or even an inanimate object."

-- Janet Boyer, author of The Back in Time Tarot Book

Here's the 1% of this book that is useful--love other people and the world around you, and you and the world will be better for it. That's it.

The remaining 99% of this book is dedicated to shameless self-aggrandizing. That's to be expected from any self-help book to some extent, but Laura Berman Fortgang really goes above and beyond, setting herself up as an almost otherworldly savior type figure..ugh!

Some highlights: she guessed the gender of her baby while pregnant-she's mystic! Big whoop, I can't think of a single mom that hasn't been able to intuit this..She selflessly helped a wheelchair bound man/single mom on an airplane/friend who was upset/geriatric home-bound woman! The woman isn't just selfless, she's downright Christ-like! She has close black friends--she's not racist, despite being white!

Of the many nauseating vignettes she includes in a desperate and pathethically obvious attempt to set herself up as some Christ-like figure is the one where she was starring in a show somewhere (she makes sure to note that the quality of production was beneath her) and a group of children, in awe of her performance, encircled her, like so many disciples.

Good grief. Save your money.