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Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades Paperback – August 17, 2010


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Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades + Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends: Dealing with Bullies and Bossiness and Finding a Better Way + A Smart Girl's Guide to Knowing What to Say (American Girl)
Price for all three: $23.10

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (August 17, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312615523
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312615529
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,255 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

From clinical studies to mainstream media, the problem of girl aggression has been the subject of growing concern, but most of the recent focus has been on middle- and high-school students, not on elementary-school girls. That’s part of the problem, argue the authors of this reassuring guide that offers practical tips and personal anecdotes aimed at alleviating female “relational aggression” in the critical early grades. In each chapter, the authors, both developmental psychologists, illustrate how adults can guide girls through a four-step process to identify and deal with tough social situations. Throughout, boxed activities for educators, parents, and girls themselves give the title a highly interactive, proactive feel, and an appended section suggests ways that adults can apply the same techniques to their own lives. More than just invaluable advice about preparing girls to cope with bullying, gossip, and friendship riffs, these are empowering strategies for adults to communicate and connect with their daughters while they are at a highly receptive age and to help them develop resilient self-esteem before they hit the middle-school jungle. --Gillian Engberg

Review

PRAISE FOR LITTLE GIRLS CAN BE MEAN:

“More than ever, young girls are facing painful social challenges that require real skills to respond…offers useful strategies and tools to help parents empower their daughters from the earliest ages."
-Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl

“A valuable guide for understanding and demystifying the friendship issues, social cruelty, and bullying of elementary-aged girls. A must-have book for parents, counselors, and educators.”
- Rosalind Wiseman, bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes

"From clinical studies to mainstream media, the problem of girl aggression has been the subject of growing concern, but most of the recent focus has been on middle- and high-school students, not on elementary-school girls. That's part of the problem, argue the authors of this reassuring guide, which offers practical tips and personal anecdotes aimed at alleviating female "relational aggression" in the critical early grades. In each chapter, the authors, both developmental psychologists, illustrate how adults can guide girls through a four-step process to identify and deal with tough social situations. Throughout, boxed activities for educators, parents, and girls themselves give the tide a highly interactive, proactive feel, and an appended section suggests ways that adults can apply the same techniques to their own lives. More than just invaluable advice about preparing girls to cope with bullying, gossip, and friendship riffs, these are empowering strategies for adults to communicate and connect with their daughters while they are at a highly receptive age and to help them develop resilient self-esteem before they hit the middle-school jungle." -- Booklist

 


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Customer Reviews

The flow of the book is anecdotal, very readable, and non-alarmist.
AmazonMom
I highly recommend this book to parents and caregivers of girls wanting an insight into what's going on, why, and how to deal with it.
Dee in Hong Kong
The book walks you through the how and why of meanness, but in a way that makes you feel like you can actually do something about it!
Grandma Roberta

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 76 people found the following review helpful By AmazonMom on August 23, 2010
Format: Paperback
As a clinical psychologist, I find that parents are often stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to supporting their daughters' social struggles. And so often, educators and counselors are stuck in the same hard place with helping support these parents, or in supporting the girls themselves.

FINALLY there's a guide that does it all: gives parents a simple easy plan to support girls' friendship fights while at the same time gives them the tools to help manage social cruelty! Even better, integrated throughout are Teacher Tips and Tips for Girls with ideas and activities to reach girls in grades K-6. The flow of the book is anecdotal, very readable, and non-alarmist.

In fact, it will help you finally understand why girls act the way they do, and know what to do about it. This book is for anyone who works with or cares about girls from ages 5-12. It's become the first book I recommend to parents in my clinical practice with elementary aged girls. I love it!
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43 of 48 people found the following review helpful By MDMOM on August 22, 2012
Format: Paperback
I have an elementary school age daughter who can be on both sides of girl troubles: the girl who gets upset by her friends and also upsets her friends. I was hoping this book can give me insights on how to navigate both sides well, but was disappointed.

The book seems to be all about "standing up to your friend who can be a bully" without defining what "bully" really is. I see certain amount of friction that kids go through as necessary part of learning and growing as long the friction is short term, and the child is not always the victim. But, I got the feeling that the authors didn't think so. They seem to think that all social struggles deserved close adult attention and how all these social struggles have lasting effects to girls.

The anecdotes in the book was realistic and typical of elementary age girls, but there wasn't much useful information for me on how to deal with it.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By HeatherW on August 29, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I bought this book to help my daughter with some friend drama she was experiencing (she's 10) and I only got a few chapters into it before I got what I needed out of it. Basically, if you need help with communication in general, this is a good book. It's pretty basic and it goes over common sense general practices like talking with your young daughter (as soon as she's verbal, even) about her feelings. It's kind of a no-brainer for some people (like me) but I could see it being helpful to those who haven't ever thought of being empathetic to their preschooler about understanding why she acts the way she does, how it feels when friends act a certain why, and how it feels when she acts a certain way towards others. I don't know if it's worth buying, it would depend entirely on your situation. It did help to know that what my daughter is going through is normal but that it's important to still provide guidance instead of just leaving her to attempt to wade these painful waters alone and shrugging it off as kids/girls being cruel.
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22 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Bonnie Neely on August 21, 2010
Format: Paperback
Little Girls Can Be Mean by Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert is a very helpful book by these two experts in the field of psychology and parenting, authors of several other books. And each of these moms has three children, so they speak from first hand experience also. The book tells four steps to helping young girls learn how to be kind to other girls and how to keep themselves from being devastated when other girls are not kind to them. With advice to parents and teachers to Observe, Connect, Guide, and Support to Act, the authors give many good examples for ages 5 - 12 of what is actual behavior of girls toward each other, at home and at school and other groups. There are many useful techniques to learn in this book of how to help your daughter protect herself and also learn how to deflate these troubling encounters. With the use of playing games, and talking, empathizing, and sharing personal experiences parents can guide their daughters through the minefield of growing up and inter-personal relationships with friends and siblings. Each chapter has boxes of information that are written directly to the child and other boxes of directed to the adult...each has good suggestions and observations and ideas to practice. This is a very good tool for any home or teacher.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Grandma Roberta on August 24, 2010
Format: Paperback
As a grandparent, I was so glad to find this book! It seems girls are so much meaner today than when my kids were growing up and already I am hearing terrible stories from my granddaughters. Before, I would say things like, "try not to let it bother you," or "she's not very nice...find a different friend." But it was mostly because I didn't know what to say. Now I do! The book walks you through the how and why of meanness, but in a way that makes you feel like you can actually do something about it! The Four Step plan is simple and gives me options in terms of when, where, and how much to go into things at any given point. For me, as a grandparent, I use Steps one and two the most: seeing things in new ways and connecting, instead of jumping in and trying to fix it all. I can't think of a more important book for elementary school girls!
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By jplatypus on August 17, 2010
Format: Paperback
Little Girls Can Be Mean is an easy, informative read. It had so many tips and strategies for anyone who deals with girl aggression or "mean girl" stuff. The best part is it addresses issues with younger girls, as opposed to only dealing with middle school girls. I learned so much about WHY meanness happens at these early ages and how to empower girls to deal with it instead of being overwhelmed by it or becoming mean themselves. It's about time!
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