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This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store (Tales of Imperfection Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

A.K. Turner
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (521 customer reviews)

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Print List Price: $12.00
Kindle Price: $3.03
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Book Description

Now a NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER!

"Empty bladder before reading." -Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of We Thought You Would Be Prettier.

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY: "This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while "major[ing] in vodka," Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest."

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.

"Reading This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is like going to your neighbor's house for a play date and discovering that she's just as clueless and crazy as you are." -Stacy Dymalski, Confessions of a Band Geek Mom

"A.K. Turner's witty essays explore the raw realities of raising children so they won't become serial killers, showing that it's okay to put the little darlings to bed and then guzzle a bottle of hooch. This is the perfect cross between Nora Ephron, David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler." -Elaine Ambrose, Menopause Sucks

From The Quivering Pen: This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store by A. K. Turner (Fever Streak Press): Did Erma Bombeck ever guzzle vodka? If she did, she might have come close to the ribald domestic humor in Turner's "momoir" This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store. The subtitle of the book is "Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year" and Turner pulls few punches in her self-deprecating descriptions of life as an "unexpected parent." Scan the chapter titles and you'll get an idea of what's waiting for you inside: "Do as I Say, Not as I Do" and "I'm Not Having Twins, Bitch," for example.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while "major[ing] in vodka," Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest." -Publishers Weekly

About the Author

A.K. Turner regularly enjoys four of the seven deadly sins. She lives with her husband and two daughters in Boise, Idaho. Learn more at AKTurner.com.

Product Details

  • File Size: 415 KB
  • Print Length: 200 pages
  • Publisher: Fever Streak Press; First Edition edition (January 9, 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008FIBV20
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #61,631 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
36 of 40 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Little more need be said. Turner is brilliantly comical in the a vein of Sedaris and Burroughs. Making light of heavy topics, and elevating family dynamics and dysfunction to a high-art! Highly recommended...it will make you feel so normal.
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26 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So entertaining July 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Full disclosure, I know the author and witnessed some of the early anecdotes. But the truly entertaining parts are AK/Amanda/Mandy's thoughts on adulthood, marriage, and parenthood. She's a little scattered, but so real. I think that if you read it, you will be jealous that I got to spend some time one on one with her in high school and wish you could now.
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36 of 43 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of Time February 10, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Please don't waste your time on this book. I got the book on the many 4 & 5 star reviews that said how good it was and that it was funny. It was neither to me. You feel no connection with the main character at all. At 50% I considered quitting the book - but decided to continue, giving her a little more of a chance, thinking it had to improve. Now I'm at 80% and I'm done - I can't go any further into this book.

The author seemed to try to make it funny, but it doesn't work for me. The book is just little quips of this woman telling stories of what she is thinking or little things she did - mostly revolving around drinking. The way the book is written, it's like watching a really bad reality TV show.
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20 of 25 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars poorly written and not that funny November 11, 2012
By Elaine
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have to say this is one of the worst books I've read in a long time. The book was disjointed and hard to follow. From story to story - and even within the chapter I found myself going "huh?" at some of the jumps from story to story. The worst part was that these stories were not that funny. Maybe if I had a few drinks I might have found it funny, but as a parent this book was flat out boring. So glad I got it for free.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining read September 8, 2012
By Liz H
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book was entertaining and enjoyable. I actually laughed out loud several times. I look forward to more books from this author. I have already search the kindle books for more titles from this author!The wit was sometimes sarcastic; however the love for her family shines through.
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars This little piggy should go to rehab November 20, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Yes, this book is extremely funny. I freely admit that I laughed out loud on a regular basis. However, very often it was also an uncomfortable laughter. The author sounds like a well meaning, loving parent. However, she doesn't seem to realize she has a drinking problem that needs to be addressed. Instead, she thinks her need for alcohol is just an endearing personality trait. Well, she needs to think about what kind of a role model she'll be for her daughters once they have access to alcohol. And, by the way, children do not think seeing their parent buzzed or hammered is an endearing personality trait. At least, they shouldn't.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not As Funny As I Was Hoping November 13, 2012
By Becca
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I picked this book for my kindle because it was a good deal and because it had gotten a lot of good reviews saying it was a laugh riot. Well, not so much. I can relate to a mom who doesn't feel like she's holding up her end in the "good moms competition." I wanted to laugh along with the author and share her struggles, emphasis on LAUGH. This book was only OK, simply because it didn't meet my expectations. Maybe this book is good and I was just lead astray by the reviews that were shared on the amazon site.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny Book April 6, 2013
By Sarah
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I put off reading this book at first since I am not a parent. I wasn't sure if I could relate to it. But for some reason it stuck out to me and kept calling my name, so I finally decided to give it a try. I realized quickly you don't have to have kids to enjoy this book. It had me laughing out loud many times. Her stories about her in-laws were the best!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Super funny
Super funny. Easy read
Published 2 days ago by Marissa
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great product. Just as described.
Published 22 days ago by theresa d peretti
5.0 out of 5 stars So funny
Let me preface by saying I don't have kids, I'm not married, and I don't drink. The author has two kids, a husband (and the requisite crazy in laws), and drinks on a regular basis. Read more
Published 28 days ago by Christine
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
This book was hilarious and I laughed with every page turn. I just couldn't put it down!!
Published 1 month ago by Heather Ramaeka
4.0 out of 5 stars This book was funny and written in a manner that you can relate ...
Wife's review: This book was funny and written in a manner that you can relate to the person in the story. I actually forgot it was a memoir.
Published 1 month ago by Alan Holt
5.0 out of 5 stars I love A. K
I love A.K. Turner! I have read all three of her books and when I am looking for some humor before bedtime I read them again!
Published 1 month ago by Shanon
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny and well written.
Published 2 months ago by Roger Howard
5.0 out of 5 stars =)
I was cracking up this whole book. Thank you! I have an 8 year old that's always slept through the night . And a 16 month old that still doesn't sleep ever. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Mrs C
2.0 out of 5 stars Thumbs Down
This book is not a story and has no plot. I wanted to like it. I enjoy "click lit" but this is nothing more than an expanded list of things that went wrong in the main... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
Funny parts that actually made me laugh out loud!!
Sometimes sounded like me growing up!!
But parenthood is great. Love my child unconditionally!!
Published 3 months ago by K. L. Carlson
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More About the Author

AK Turner grew up in Maryland, studied Vodka in Russia, and now lives in Idaho with her husband and two daughters. She is a former humor columnist and creator of "The Writers' Block" on Radio Boise. Her books include the NEW YORK TIMES best seller HAIR OF THE CORN DOG, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE LIQUOR STORE, MOMMY HAD A LITTLE FLASK, DRINKING WITH DEAD WOMEN WRITERS, and DRINKING WITH DEAD DRUNKS. Her work has also been featured in the anthologies, LITTLE WHITE DRESS, LEAVE THE LIPSTICK, TAKE THE IGUANA, and I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE. More information is available at AKTurner.com.

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