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This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store (Tales of Imperfection Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

A.K. Turner
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (498 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.00
Kindle Price: $1.99
You Save: $10.01 (83%)

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Book Description

"Empty bladder before reading." -Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of We Thought You Would Be Prettier.

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY: "This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while "major[ing] in vodka," Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest."

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.

"Reading This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is like going to your neighbor's house for a play date and discovering that she's just as clueless and crazy as you are." -Stacy Dymalski, Confessions of a Band Geek Mom

"A.K. Turner's witty essays explore the raw realities of raising children so they won't become serial killers, showing that it's okay to put the little darlings to bed and then guzzle a bottle of hooch. This is the perfect cross between Nora Ephron, David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler." -Elaine Ambrose, Menopause Sucks

From The Quivering Pen: This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store by A. K. Turner (Fever Streak Press): Did Erma Bombeck ever guzzle vodka? If she did, she might have come close to the ribald domestic humor in Turner's "momoir" This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store. The subtitle of the book is "Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year" and Turner pulls few punches in her self-deprecating descriptions of life as an "unexpected parent." Scan the chapter titles and you'll get an idea of what's waiting for you inside: "Do as I Say, Not as I Do" and "I'm Not Having Twins, Bitch," for example.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while "major[ing] in vodka," Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest." -Publishers Weekly

About the Author

A.K. Turner regularly enjoys four of the seven deadly sins. She lives with her husband and two daughters in Boise, Idaho. Learn more at AKTurner.com.

Product Details

  • File Size: 414 KB
  • Print Length: 200 pages
  • Publisher: Fever Streak Press; First Edition edition (January 9, 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008FIBV20
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #34,226 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
36 of 40 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Little more need be said. Turner is brilliantly comical in the a vein of Sedaris and Burroughs. Making light of heavy topics, and elevating family dynamics and dysfunction to a high-art! Highly recommended...it will make you feel so normal.
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25 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So entertaining July 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Full disclosure, I know the author and witnessed some of the early anecdotes. But the truly entertaining parts are AK/Amanda/Mandy's thoughts on adulthood, marriage, and parenthood. She's a little scattered, but so real. I think that if you read it, you will be jealous that I got to spend some time one on one with her in high school and wish you could now.
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34 of 41 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of Time February 10, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Please don't waste your time on this book. I got the book on the many 4 & 5 star reviews that said how good it was and that it was funny. It was neither to me. You feel no connection with the main character at all. At 50% I considered quitting the book - but decided to continue, giving her a little more of a chance, thinking it had to improve. Now I'm at 80% and I'm done - I can't go any further into this book.

The author seemed to try to make it funny, but it doesn't work for me. The book is just little quips of this woman telling stories of what she is thinking or little things she did - mostly revolving around drinking. The way the book is written, it's like watching a really bad reality TV show.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining read September 8, 2012
By Liz H
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book was entertaining and enjoyable. I actually laughed out loud several times. I look forward to more books from this author. I have already search the kindle books for more titles from this author!The wit was sometimes sarcastic; however the love for her family shines through.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So, so funny! September 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I got this book because it was a free book one day for my Kindle. We don't have children and so I wasn't certain if I could relate to it, but it was free so I figured there wasn't anything to lose by downloading it. Well...... it is hysterical! I don't know when I have laughed so hard reading a book - the kind of laughing that produces snorting noises and tears and alarms everyone around you. I enjoyed this book so much for bringing all of that laughter. Wonderful, easy read.
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18 of 23 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars poorly written and not that funny November 11, 2012
By Elaine
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have to say this is one of the worst books I've read in a long time. The book was disjointed and hard to follow. From story to story - and even within the chapter I found myself going "huh?" at some of the jumps from story to story. The worst part was that these stories were not that funny. Maybe if I had a few drinks I might have found it funny, but as a parent this book was flat out boring. So glad I got it for free.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars This little piggy should go to rehab November 20, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Yes, this book is extremely funny. I freely admit that I laughed out loud on a regular basis. However, very often it was also an uncomfortable laughter. The author sounds like a well meaning, loving parent. However, she doesn't seem to realize she has a drinking problem that needs to be addressed. Instead, she thinks her need for alcohol is just an endearing personality trait. Well, she needs to think about what kind of a role model she'll be for her daughters once they have access to alcohol. And, by the way, children do not think seeing their parent buzzed or hammered is an endearing personality trait. At least, they shouldn't.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not As Funny As I Was Hoping November 13, 2012
By Becca
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I picked this book for my kindle because it was a good deal and because it had gotten a lot of good reviews saying it was a laugh riot. Well, not so much. I can relate to a mom who doesn't feel like she's holding up her end in the "good moms competition." I wanted to laugh along with the author and share her struggles, emphasis on LAUGH. This book was only OK, simply because it didn't meet my expectations. Maybe this book is good and I was just lead astray by the reviews that were shared on the amazon site.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars So funny!
I really enjoyed this book. It is hilarious how well the author relates to being a parent! I continuously laughed out loud!
Published 16 days ago by Heather
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read.
I really enjoy your sense of humor. I find you view things in the same way that I do. I cannot wait to read your other books.
Published 16 days ago by Michelle Costolo
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Read
Another laugh until you cry from this newly discovered and amazing author. When you want a light and funny read, choose her. Read more
Published 19 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars and I had to keep stifling my laughter because people were looking at...
Hilarious. When people say not to read this in public, they're not kidding. I took it to Starbucks to read one day, and I had to keep stifling my laughter because people were... Read more
Published 24 days ago by JJJB
4.0 out of 5 stars author is pretty good. kept my interest even though I have ...
author is pretty good. kept my interest even though I have no kids.
Published 1 month ago by Steven Brem
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny never wanted it to end!!
Published 1 month ago by Amanda T.
1.0 out of 5 stars Meh
The blurb about this book was quite deceptive. I have it a solid 50% of the way before I couldn't handle reading anymore about married life in Idaho. Not a quirky as is led on.
Published 1 month ago by Virginia Stevens
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny, quick read
Even non-parents can relate to this book. A collection of short memoir stories about life, marriage, parenting and a bit of booze it make it all easier. Read more
Published 1 month ago by sassyjackie
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read!
Loved this book from beginning to end. Ms. Turner continually describes her life and family experiences throughout it in a laugh-out-loud, hilarious, honest, manner. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Christine Musson
5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed
I am not sure what I was expecting but I couldn't get enough of this book. I laughed more times than I could count and was disappointed when it ended. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Red Bear
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More About the Author

AK Turner grew up in Maryland, studied Vodka in Russia, and now lives in Idaho with her husband and two daughters. She is a former humor columnist and creator of "The Writers' Block" on Radio Boise. Her books include THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE LIQUOR STORE, MOMMY HAD A LITTLE FLASK, HAIR OF THE CORN DOG, DRINKING WITH DEAD WOMEN WRITERS, and DRINKING WITH DEAD DRUNKS. Her work has also been featured in the anthologies, LITTLE WHITE DRESS, LEAVE THE LIPSTICK, TAKE THE IGUANA, and I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE. More information is available at AKTurner.com.

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