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Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie Paperback – January 6, 2009

3.7 out of 5 stars 7 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Do women have to lie to survive at work, in school, in our marriages, friendships, and families? The honest answer is a shocking yes.” ―Leslie Morgan Steiner, editor of the bestselling Mommy Wars

“Susan Shapiro Barash has "taken a gutsy look at a controversial subject, one that most women would rather not discuss. By shedding light on the reasons behind our secrets and lies, she will give women more choices about how they approach the sensitive areas of their lives.” ―Liz Perle, author of Money, A Memoir

“Finally! The lies women tell have been de-coded. Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Women and Deception has taken me on an eye opening journey into the lies my own mother told me as a child making me realize the most innocent of untruths can have a lifelong impact.” ―Crystal McCrary Anthony, author of The Gotham Diaries

About the Author

SUSAN SHAPIRO BARASH is the author of nine previous books, and teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College. As a well-recognized gender expert, she is frequently sought out by newspapers, television shows, and radio programs to comment on women's issues. She lives in New York City.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; Reprint edition (January 6, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312364466
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312364465
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,575,124 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By John G. Maguire on March 19, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I spent about 90 minutes poring over this book and learned that the writer has basically written a book by asking women on Criaglist to talk about their patterns of deception. There is no evidence that the writer met anyone in person, and the preface says that the writer "combined sources" or something of the sort. The book is about 30 per cent email transcripts, as far as I can tell.

The interesting thing is the amorality of the writer and the female deceivers. They all have an excuse for telling white lies and creating worse deceptions.

Most interesting to me, as a man, was reading about the culture of female lying. As a window into an alien culture, this book is as useful as "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons. This book profiles women who are proud to lie, feel good by lying, feel like they have tricked the system by lying, and look down upon simpletons who won't lie. For a man who tries to speak the truth, this is a visit to an alien world. I feel like a bird gone down to live among the catfish in the murk at the bottom of a polluted stream. I do not want to live here, but it's interesting to see that indeed an awful form of life lives down here.

The writer's amorality is distressing, too. She seems to have no serious sense of what lying does over time to a human being, even a female. The internal corruption and loss of contact with reality...that results from lying and kidding yourself about your own lies...is a very high price to pay for "success." The author seems not to think it matters much. The author accepts the premise of her subjects, which is that "lying is a pretty good technique for advancement" and that the corruption of one's spirit through lying is no big deal.

Anyway, interesting trip into the mud.
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Format: Hardcover
Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets is a nonjudgmental research project
about a topic that's all too familiar to all of us. Barash's interviewees
vary in ages and social classes, and may live miles from one another,
but each has found a reason to lie to a family member, friend or work colleague. I found this fascinating because it's all too true and because women do it to save face and to make their lives better. Men should read the book to get the low down and women to recognize themselves and not feel alone.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Not exactly in agreement on some of the content. But, it seems to provide a great alternative view of lies and how they play out in the lives of women.
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Format: Hardcover
I picked up this book after I saw Ms. Barash on the Today show. I found it insightful and through provoking. It was comforting to know that other women felt societies pressure to be "perfect", and lying is a way that most women achieve that. It's a must read for all women!! It illuminates how we act/survive in this over-sexed and ageist culture.
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