Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie [Paperback]

Susan Shapiro Barash (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 6, 2009

&&LDIV&&R&&LDIV&&R&&LP&&RFrom the bestselling author of &&LI&&RTripping the Prom Queen&&L/I&&R comes a fascinating and provocative look at the reasons behind female deception.  It reveals how society doles out mixed messages to women, fostering the lies they tell.  Among them:&&L/P&&R

• A woman who shoplifts, and has it 'down to a science'
• A woman who tells her husband she is working late to be with her lover
• A woman who lies about her children's achievements to her friends
• A woman who pretends her husband is doing well when they are going broke
• A woman who has covered up her husband's emotional abuse for years
• A woman whose secret is her misery in being a stay-at-home mom in suburbia
• A woman who lies about loving her partner, deciding it's better to stay than be alone
• And many other secrets and deceptions

&&LP&&RHonest and even outrageous, Susan Shapiro Barash is fast becoming the author who explores issues that are important to women--issues that they are loath to talk about…until now.  &&L/P&&R&&L/DIV&&R&&L/DIV&&R

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Do women have to lie to survive at work, in school, in our marriages, friendships, and families?  The honest answer is a shocking yes.”—Leslie Morgan Steiner, editor of the bestselling Mommy Wars

"Susan Shapiro Barash has "taken a gutsy look at a controversial subject, one that most women would rather not discuss.  By shedding light on the reasons behind our secrets and lies, she will give women more choices about how they approach the sensitive areas of their lives.”
--Liz Perle, author of Money, A Memoir

“Finally!  The lies women tell have been de-coded.  Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Women and Deception  has taken me on an eye opening journey into the lies my own mother told me as a child making me realize the most innocent of untruths can have a lifelong impact.”--Crystal McCrary Anthony, author of The Gotham Diaries

About the Author

SUSAN SHAPIRO BARASH is the author of nine previous books, and teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College.  As a well-recognized gender expert, she is frequently sought out by newspapers, television shows, and radio programs to comment on women’s issues.  She lives in New York City.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; First Edition edition (January 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312364466
• ISBN-13: 978-0312364465
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,767,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Trip into the mud, March 19, 2008

By 

John G. Maguire (Lowell MA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie (Hardcover)

I spent about 90 minutes poring over this book and learned that the writer has basically written a book by asking women on Criaglist to talk about their patterns of deception. There is no evidence that the writer met anyone in person, and the preface says that the writer "combined sources" or something of the sort. The book is about 30 per cent email transcripts, as far as I can tell.

The interesting thing is the amorality of the writer and the female deceivers. They all have an excuse for telling white lies and creating worse deceptions.

Most interesting to me, as a man, was reading about the culture of female lying. As a window into an alien culture, this book is as useful as "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons. This book profiles women who are proud to lie, feel good by lying, feel like they have tricked the system by lying, and look down upon simpletons who won't lie. For a man who tries to speak the truth, this is a visit to an alien world. I feel like a bird gone down to live among the catfish in the murk at the bottom of a polluted stream. I do not want to live here, but it's interesting to see that indeed an awful form of life lives down here.

The writer's amorality is distressing, too. She seems to have no serious sense of what lying does over time to a human being, even a female. The internal corruption and loss of contact with reality...that results from lying and kidding yourself about your own lies...is a very high price to pay for "success." The author seems not to think it matters much. The author accepts the premise of her subjects, which is that "lying is a pretty good technique for advancement" and that the corruption of one's spirit through lying is no big deal.

Anyway, interesting trip into the mud. The author, as I said, comes off as somewhat amoral and unserious. Her refusal to make more than small token comments about the costs of lying--or to consider the diminishment of public trust that results from all this deception--is depressing.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Sometimes it's embarrassing to be female, January 17, 2009

By 

couchbum "couchbum" (California USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie (Hardcover)

Just another one of those times it's embarrassing to be female. This book in one way has good information about why women lie, or why they have to lie to survive in this world. Yet, at the same time it's shocking to read these stories and hear that some of these women have no shame and actually justify their lying. Some of these women feel entitled to lie. Proud as peacocks. We all lie to some degree (white lies). Funny how men seem to be attacking this book. So if you men can handle looking in the mirror try reading "101 lies men tell women and why women believe them" by Dory Hollander. I'd be embarrassed to be a man in America after reading Dory's book.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book- clever insights and observations, a book all women will identify with, March 27, 2008

By 

jms "nywoman" (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie (Hardcover)

I picked up this book after I saw Ms. Barash on the Today show. I found it insightful and through provoking. It was comforting to know that other women felt societies pressure to be "perfect", and lying is a way that most women achieve that. It's a must read for all women!! It illuminates how we act/survive in this over-sexed and ageist culture.