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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
No-budget torture horror,
By
This review is from: Live Animals (DVD)
Live Animals is an ultra-low budget kidnapping/torture/horror film with a one-line plot, no twists, no shocks, little gore and lots of tedium.
There's really nothing to recommend it. The villains are dull and the victims duller. Skip it.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Absolute Garbage,
By Timmy D. "touchdown@nni.com" (Whitehall, PA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Live Animals (DVD)
I've seen thousands of movies in my day. I am a HUGE horror fan. I must say I actually drug my ass out of bed to the computer to write this review. I bought this as part of a 4 pack of movies for $5 bucks & I'd probably say I would maybe have agreed to watch this piece of crap for oh, say, $50 bucks. If somebody would give me $50 bucks, I would say I'd waste my time with this dreck. As it stands, I paid $1.25 for this thing. Not only is the money a total waste...the hour & change I wasted on this utter garbage is time I'll never retrieve. I'll grant you, making a film with zero budget is a tedious task that you do for the love of it. But this film has no redeeming qualities. Even the end kill of the stupid bad ass is a cop out. Instead of making a cheap bladder head of the creep to saw to ribbons, they cut away to some cheap jack blood spraying around. Man oh, man do I wish I had never opened this DVD since now I'm stuck with it. There is no going back. I am actually pissed off beyond belief that I wasted time & money on this thing. If my review makes you long to see how bad it is...please for the love of all humanity...avoid it like the plague. Not only is it shoddy...the worst offense ever that a cheap horror flick can be it is...BORING! Top 5 all time wastes of time & money in my middle aged life. Good riddance. Maybe I can get some fool to buy this sheite on Ebay.
26 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Bland, ineffective horror,
By
This review is from: Live Animals (DVD)
A friend of mine rented this for sheer giggles and we watched it on a lark. Based on the premise and the package, I got exactly what I expected: an impossibly further low-rent attempt at capturing that same magic woven by modern horror cinema...ahem...powerhouses such as Saw and Hostel. What I got was a micro-budget trash-fest, complete with hapless actors and a slipshod script. I got a gaggle of characters I couldn't have cared less about, no plot to be found, and one of the worst examples of prosthetic make-up I've ever seen, that being a character boasting a crescent-shaped scar on his face, which looks more like a smeared mess of melted Snickers bars.
I find these movies offensive. I find them offensive because they are unoriginal. I find them offensive because it really showcases that young filmmakers are not concerned with trying to scare the audience anymore, instead finding themselves content to throw as many breasts and buckets of blood at you as they can in a (mercifully) short 90 minute-or-so runtime. That so many of these filmmakers are not striving to grasp that brass ring and create something, instead happy to grab last week's leftovers and regurgitate it all over your television in a poorly-shot mess. That these filmmakers and their equally abysmal screenwriters don't mind depriving their narrative of a discernible point of interest, an end-goal, characters to care about or root for, and feel justified in calling their happy little nothing a story by throwing in a "gotcha" twist toward the end--even if you saw it coming a mile away because, and let's face it, that's what everybody else is doing, and that means it has to be an effective tool in the storytelling process, yeah? And even if I were that guy, that fella who is first in line at the cinema for the opening of the twelfth Saw sequel, drenching my popcorn in red Karo syrup and gasping orgasmically at the sight of paper-thin characters miraculously made full and packed with meat and bone if only for the purposes of it being spilled on some warehouse's floor, I would still be offended by this film. Because it does what no movie that has nothing going for it other than that promise that its content will shock and revile you by way of sheer brutality should do. It is simply boring and useless. And by that amazingly low standard of trying to be the red-headed stepchild of something that is unabashedly unimportant and totally reliant on gross-out moments, this film cannot be seen as anything less than an utter and complete failure.
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