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How to Live with a Huge Penis Paperback – February 1, 2009


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Quirk Books (February 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594743061
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594743061
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 4.7 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (130 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,866 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Richard Jacob holds a Ph.D. in Asian economic psychology from East Somerville University, where he also taught until 2003. He lives in Sherman, Connecticut. The Reverend Owen Thomas is an ordained Catholic priest, counselor, and author of the celebrated Frank Stryver crime novel series. He divides his time between Cambridge, Massachusetts, and Miami Beach. Visit their Web site at www.ihaveomg.org.

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Customer Reviews

Guys think they want one.
Dan Dreifort
I thought this was a great gift to give close friends.
Titus Mielke
This book will give anyone a laugh.
Joey

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

496 of 538 people found the following review helpful By Dan Dreifort on May 19, 2009
Format: Paperback
Having the girth of a large shampoo bottle is allegedly a blessing... as long as you're not the one with the "gift". Guys think they want one. Women think they want it given to them. However, my psyche is scarred (and confused) from the howls I've heard after I drop trou. Are they scared? Turned on? Is there a monster behind me? No. The monster has always been in my pants. Only now, after reading this wonderful book have I been able to make peace with my piece.
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154 of 186 people found the following review helpful By J. Clark on June 13, 2009
Format: Paperback
I wasn't going to buy this book but my girlfriend actually got it for me for my birthday. I read it cover to cover and it really has changed my life. I have always suffered with having a (my girlfriend calls it) gi-normous penis. Imagine have two soda cans duct tapped together in your pants. I have always had a hard time sitting down and forget about it if I have an erection. Some people think it would be so awesome to have such a flesh sword in you grundies but I can tell you that it is not what it is cracked up to be. Have you ever had some hottie NOT have sex with you because she was trebling like a newborn fawn? Have you ever been accused of stuffing something down your Granimal jeans by your playground buddies? Have you ever been asked to GO HOME from your boss because you were distracting co-workers? Buy this book- it will change your whole life!
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87 of 113 people found the following review helpful By TonyC on June 9, 2013
Format: Paperback
Its not all bad, I lost a leg in the war, but luckily because of my huge Penis you cant even tell apart from the one small shoe.
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43 of 57 people found the following review helpful By Eli Royal on March 6, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Well done, Makes a fantastic back of toilette book. Especially if you have guests that aren't aware of your condition.
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12 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on April 25, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having been endowed beyond measure I found hope and relief in this little tome. The prayers are especially reassuring for men like us.
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15 of 21 people found the following review helpful By James K. Forrest on January 3, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Seriously. In my single days, leaving this on the coffee table would be a godsend about 74% of the time. Usually the women would be disappointed at first, expecting a 19" fire hose, but being already hot 'n' ready in the bedroom, most would just say, "Eh. Good enough."
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Mike K on August 14, 2014
Format: Paperback
Not just for OMG sufferers! A great gift for wives and girlfriends, too. (No, I'm not being heteronormative, I've just noticed that my gay friends are much more pragmatic about things.) I also bought a few copies to give out to my insecure less-well-endowed friends, just so they know who's boss.
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304 of 459 people found the following review helpful By M. J. Antley on April 11, 2009
Format: Paperback
You know, life isn't easy. I have to lug around a 25" penis and, quite bluntly, I need some advice on how to live life. People think my right leg has a weird growth on it. My lower back is always hurting. If I get aroused, my head spins and I pass out. It's a cornucopia of problems and people always laugh when, after being asked what the problem is, you respond with "I have a really massive wang".

You know, it's not always funny. It's painful.

I thought, maybe, Richard Richard Jacob and Owen Thomas were kindred spirits in my battle against excessive genitalism. But NO --- these two chuckleheads decide to make this whole book a comedy.

Now, admittedly, the humor is pretty funny here and there...but there is real pain here. You ever throw out your shoulder tossing your penis over your shoulder because you had to wear shorts? Does your massive wang cause whirlpools should you ever decide to skinny dip? You know what it's like to not be able to make love to your wife within the same ROOM as your wife?

It's not bloody lovely. That's what it's like.

It even makes work a bother. At every interview, I get asked to first, show my penis and then second, bang the receptionist. You know, I'm not a piece of meat. And all of the queries as to why I'm not doing porn get annoying. I TRIED doing porn once and accidentally smashed the camera when I was fully aroused and turned around too quickly.

...I also gave my leading lady a concussion, broke a window in the next room, and, well, impregnated 3 different women in a 5 block radius. It was a little mortifying.

People always say it's a blessing. Well, I'm not seeing it. When you have to lug around a wang that weighs more than a full grown Great Dane, then you can talk to me.

And, no, I didn't type this using my fingers. I CANNOT do that.

Life is so unfair sometimes.
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