If Norman Juster had written "The Hobbit," it might have turned out something like "The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear."
It's also the best description of Walter Moers' debut novel, which is probably the best children's book ever written for adults. Set on the mythical continent of Zamonia, Moers sketches out hundreds of strange creatures and surreal adventures, all written in wryly colourful prose.
Bluebear was found floating in a walnut shell, raised by peg-legged hook-handed Minipirates, taught by the talking waves, and kept as entertainment by gruesome hobgoblins. But when he ends up on a giant carnivorous island disguised as a gourmet's paradise, Bluebear is rescued by Deus X. Machina, a Reptilian Rescuer who later brings him to the Nocturnal Academy, run by the seven-brained Professor Abdullah Nightingale.
But when he reaches the end of his education, Nightingale sends Bluebear onto a strange series of adventures -- he falls into a Dimensional Hiatus, is almost eaten by the Spiderwitch, travels through a Bollogg brain, gets swept up in an aging tornado, chases mirages with the Muggs, and finally becomes a Congladiator (lying/storytelling competitor) in Atlantis. But after a match gone bad, Bluebear must flee Atlantis -- and is abducted by the Moloch, a monstrous ship run by the most insidious substance in Zamonia...
Walter Moers should get some kind of award for cramming as many fantastical, bizarre creatures into one book -- carpet dimensions, tiny cyclops, hairy imps, metallic rock-eaters, killer sugar-skeletons, antlered dogs, and headless giants all turn up, and that's only the start. It's a good thing Bluebear gets an encyclopedia in his brain (from Nightingale), or else we would never keep them all straight.
And Moers brings this to life with writing that is straight-faced, detailed, colourful, but still slightly arch ("It should be explained that in the 2364th Dimension music is played on instruments made of milk"), and full of bustling cities and sandy deserts. There's even a city that flies to another planet. But the whimsical plot pulls itself together in his last few-and-a-half lives, where hints and subplots from his previous lives come together -- and we finally find out Bluebear's destiny.
Bluebear himself is a likable guy, as well as very adaptable -- and somehow no matter what bizarre things he does, he's always just as likable. The supporting characters are wildly numerous, but a few stand out -- Fredda, the Alpine Imp who writes bad poetry, a gelatinous prince 2364th Dimension, the grumpy Mac, and the gloriously eccentric Professor Nightingale.
Except for its length, you'd think "The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear" was a kids' book, with its whimsical drawings and colorfully imaginative little world. But it's full of humor, solid writing and bizarre twists -- definitely a good read.
