35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Described my son to a tee, and made me feel I'm not alone., December 28, 1998
This review is from: Living with the Active Alert Child: Groundbreaking Strategies for Parents (Revised and Enlarged) (Paperback)
I FINALLY got "Living with your Active Alert Child" and I have to say, I read the whole thing until about 2 am. I am going to read it again. AMAZING!! It described my son right down to the upper respiratory/ear infections to his inability to block out stimuli to how he is at birthday parties to how when I'm stressed he takes on my stress and adds a little of his own. It talks about how they love to "perform", how they need to be in control, how they can't smoothly transition from one thing to another. ! I felt like, when I was a teenager, and would read my horoscope and I would think, "Yup, that is SO me, yup that too, uh-huh". "Active Alert" is my son's sign!! No doubt about it! I feel so less alone, and feel I can now learn TOOLS that I can use, when I feel out of control. Buy this book, if you are reading reviews and are thinking you just "might" have an "active alert" on your hands - this book is well worth the money.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thank Heavens this brilliant book exists, February 25, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Living with the Active Alert Child: Groundbreaking Strategies for Parents (Revised and Enlarged) (Paperback)
This book is a Godsend! I was at my wit's end in dealing with one of our twins. He was obviously intelligent, but just didn't get it together. A friend suggested this book, which we read voraciously. One of the things that became clear: I was active-alert, too! No wonder we clashed. I'm not sure that I am any better at things now, but I think I understand him a lot better, which is half the battle. We used the book to help us work with his kindergarten teacher, and that worked well; and we have been blessed with a succession of teachers who could work with him, rather than against him (a problem with these kinds of childen).
This book will tell you if your child (or yourself or your partner) fits this category. If there isn't a fit, move on; this book isn't for you and you need to consult other literature. If you find a fit, this book is what you need. It explains why the behavior occurs, what is probably missing from the child's environment, and how you can work with the child's behavior. It lets you understand, as well as develop strategies so that you can work together for harmony in the family. You may never achieve 'peace', but harmony is a pretty good outcome.
For us, there are still bad days and weeks. But J. no longer has to ask the terrible question he once did: "Does Daddy really love us?" And I know that my son does love me, despite all we have been through, perhaps because of what we have all been through.
As an adult 'active alert', life is not always easy. Being by nature a 'non-conformist' is a recipe for disaster in many areas. But this book has helped me see how to manage my life a little better and to use the gifts I have, while keeping an eye out for the effect of the weaknesses that this type has.
An update from the Feb, 2001 review, now Dec. 2005. J. was diagnosed as almost having Asperger's Syndrome and definitely on the autism spectrum (at the high functioning end) later in 2001. The meltdowns gradually decreased from almost daily in 1st grade to perhaps quarterly by 5th grade. Now J. is in 6th grade, we are hitting a number of new issues and problems, partly puberty, partly medication, partly the larger world. The bad news is that there are no solutions and each day must be dealt with as it comes. The good news is that this gives you the chance to cast off yesterday's failures and disasters (if you're lucky!) and start afresh. Try not to give up. Realise that you can't do it alone, but that as parents you're far, far better than anyone else, or any agency; they can only provide a wider experience, not a deeper core for the child.
It's a pity that this most helpful book is out of print. Check out your library, the used ones and local resource centers.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A lifesaver!, February 6, 2002
This review is from: Living with the Active Alert Child: Groundbreaking Strategies for Parents (Revised and Enlarged) (Paperback)
The key to good parenting is understanding your child, but that's not very easy when your child is so different from "average" children. Linda Budd not only helps you understand this enigma you gave birth to, but she helps you see that the traits that frustrate you the most are actually good, once harnessed. You know this book is for you if: your baby's first year was a nightmare of no sleeping and constant wailing, your child has more energy than a power plant, your newborn seemed very alert and aware of his/her surroundings, other people think your child just needs a good spanking, you've seen other people's small children sitting quietly listening to a story and thought to yourself, "What's wrong with those kids?" I guarantee you will find relief in this book, and a better understanding of your child and how to make your home life a lot smoother. Two thumbs way up!
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