Customer Reviews

Living With the Active Alert Child: Groundbreaking Strategies for Parents

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I FINALLY got "Living with your Active Alert Child" and I have to say, I read the whole thing until about 2 am. I am going to read it again. AMAZING!! It described my son right down to the upper respiratory/ear infections to his inability to block out stimuli to how he is at birthday parties to how when I'm stressed he takes on my stress and adds a little of his own. It talks about how they love to "perform", how they need to be in control, how they can't smoothly transition from one thing to another. ! I felt like, when I was a teenager, and would read my horoscope and I would think, "Yup, that is SO me, yup that too, uh-huh". "Active Alert" is my son's sign!! No doubt about it! I feel so less alone, and feel I can now learn TOOLS that I can use, when I feel out of control. Buy this book, if you are reading reviews and are thinking you just "might" have an "active alert" on your hands - this book is well worth the money.

This book is a Godsend! I was at my wit's end in dealing with one of our twins. He was obviously intelligent, but just didn't get it together. A friend suggested this book, which we read voraciously. One of the things that became clear: I was active-alert, too! No wonder we clashed. I'm not sure that I am any better at things now, but I think I understand him a lot better, which is half the battle. We used the book to help us work with his kindergarten teacher, and that worked well; and we have been blessed with a succession of teachers who could work with him, rather than against him (a problem with these kinds of childen).

This book will tell you if your child (or yourself or your partner) fits this category. If there isn't a fit, move on; this book isn't for you and you need to consult other literature. If you find a fit, this book is what you need. It explains why the behavior occurs, what is probably missing from the child's environment, and how you can work with the child's behavior. It lets you understand, as well as develop strategies so that you can work together for harmony in the family. You may never achieve 'peace', but harmony is a pretty good outcome.

For us, there are still bad days and weeks. But J. no longer has to ask the terrible question he once did: "Does Daddy really love us?" And I know that my son does love me, despite all we have been through, perhaps because of what we have all been through.

As an adult 'active alert', life is not always easy. Being by nature a 'non-conformist' is a recipe for disaster in many areas. But this book has helped me see how to manage my life a little better and to use the gifts I have, while keeping an eye out for the effect of the weaknesses that this type has.

An update from the Feb, 2001 review, now Dec. 2005. J. was diagnosed as almost having Asperger's Syndrome and definitely on the autism spectrum (at the high functioning end) later in 2001. The meltdowns gradually decreased from almost daily in 1st grade to perhaps quarterly by 5th grade. Now J. is in 6th grade, we are hitting a number of new issues and problems, partly puberty, partly medication, partly the larger world. The bad news is that there are no solutions and each day must be dealt with as it comes. The good news is that this gives you the chance to cast off yesterday's failures and disasters (if you're lucky!) and start afresh. Try not to give up. Realise that you can't do it alone, but that as parents you're far, far better than anyone else, or any agency; they can only provide a wider experience, not a deeper core for the child.

It's a pity that this most helpful book is out of print. Check out your library, the used ones and local resource centers.

The key to good parenting is understanding your child, but that's not very easy when your child is so different from "average" children. Linda Budd not only helps you understand this enigma you gave birth to, but she helps you see that the traits that frustrate you the most are actually good, once harnessed. You know this book is for you if: your baby's first year was a nightmare of no sleeping and constant wailing, your child has more energy than a power plant, your newborn seemed very alert and aware of his/her surroundings, other people think your child just needs a good spanking, you've seen other people's small children sitting quietly listening to a story and thought to yourself, "What's wrong with those kids?" I guarantee you will find relief in this book, and a better understanding of your child and how to make your home life a lot smoother. Two thumbs way up!

When I quickly read through the descriptions of Active Alert children, I knew Linda was talking about my daughter. My first child was so different and there had been no major conflicts during his early years (even now as a teenager, he is usually a pleasure). My own personality is not as intense as my daughter's; so I was at a loss how to respond many times. I was constantly fluctuating between feelings that I was at fault as a parent and that my daughter was impossible to live with. With this book, I was able to understand why my daughter acted as she did and was given the tools to work with her. I bought this book when she was 6 yrs. old but occasionally need to refer to it now(10 yrs. old). Our relationship and family life is much improved and I'm grateful to the author for her sensitivity and insight.

Our son is very active and extremely bright. When he plays with others he stands out and unfortunately doesn't seem to understand that people have a space limit and prefer not to have someone in their's. He wants to touch almost everything and is very intuitive. The scariest thing is, he is a lot like me. come to find out, I am an active alert adult. The book covers adults briefly too. This type of child needs more positive reinforcement b/c they are hit with a lot of negativity b/c they are different - not in a better or worse way - just different. He gets up revved and ready to go and will never admit that he's tired - even as his eyelids are slowly closing while he says, "I'm not ..............." zzzzzzzzzzzzz. ha!! ha! I had to find something to better understand his and my behavior and this book helps you to see his skills/talents as gifts instead of as something negative. Our son is also very strong-willed and is a natural leader. This will serve him well in later life - however, as his parents it's hell sometimes. Appreciate your "little pistols" and see them for the wonderful people they are and will grow to be.

This book was recommended to me by our pediatrician, and I have to say it has dramatically changed the way I work with my son! It helped me to look at the "negative" attributes as positive traits, and really enjoy his energy! This book has saved my sanity, and I have recommended it to several friends.

Before I read this book I was firmly convinced that my 3-year-old daughter was an ornery mule and there was little I could do about it. If my husband and I even gave her the impression that we were about to help her with whatever she was doing, she'd swat at us and yell for us to go away. Now I understand that she needs to touch to learn, and this book has given us tools to use when she starts school. We've been worried that she would be labeled ADHD because she's constantly moving, though, when she's interested in something, her attention span is longer than many adults. I'm also grateful to feel that I'm not just an overly fretful mother. So often when I tried to explain our difficulties to other mothers I would hear, "all kids are like that," and I could clearly see on the playgrounds and in the stores that not all kids are like that. Many of them can walk in a straight line, sit still to eat, and respond when their name is called! Also, now I know why my daughter's reactions to most standard parenting advice has been the exact opposite of the desired result (i.e. rocking her to try to get her to sleep irritated her - I can see now it was too stimulating for her). After reading this book, I've gained enlightenment as to why she behaves as she does, and I'm more hopeful that we can help her channel all that energy to healthy, positive goals.

Before you consider medication for your active child, read this book! I read it when my oldest daughter was 2 1/2. By then, we'd been through tantrums, head-banging, free-falls from high places (at age 18 mos.) and other assorted "displays". The terrible twos never came--it was terrible from the beginning! No other book had explained this personality type in such detail, and in such a helpful way. We have successfully channeled her energy into sports, and monitor her diet (NO junk food) to temper the mood swings. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is at their wit's end, and whose child does not fit into any of the "types" written about in other child development books.

When I first picked up this book and looked through it, I thought "when was this woman in my house?" We've clung to it like a lifeline. It was such a relief to know it wasn't us, there wasn't 'something wrong with him', and that there were ways to cope. I've recommended this book to several people who have been equally thrilled. I've been able to use things learned to help him in school, help him with transition times, and head off some of the explosions. Life will never be calm and peaceful with an active alert in the house, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing!

We've been especially blessed to become part of Linda's client base and meet with her several times/year. Let me just say, she's amazing!!!!!! Buy this book!!!!

If you're one of those parents trying to figure out who the creature is that you're living with, then this might be a good book to read through. Reading this book has not only helped us in our ability to work with and not against our active alert little boy, but it has also helped me work with my active alert wife.

This book is changing the dynamic in our household by giving us ideas on how to work with the natural personality and gifts we've each been given. It gives great hope to not have to think about medicating our child like we so often see today.

I'd recommend looking into this book if you have a little one who seems to be exceptionally smart, very active and one to drive you crazy quite often.