Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence [Paperback]

Erika B. Hilliard (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 12, 2005

Anxiety disorders are among the most commonly diagnosed psychological conditions in America, currently affecting more than 19 million people. In Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety, distinguished therapist and mental health expert Erika B. Hilliard offers a comprehensive guide to living fully and confidently with such conditions. In warm, reassuring language, she covers in-depth all of the relevant topics, including how to calm your body, blushing, eye contact, body language, medications, heart racing, goal setting, shy bladder syndrome, cultivating positive thoughts, and ways to prepare for stressful social situations—many of which are only briefly touched upon in other books. Uniquely organized into three distinct, logical, easy-to-digest sections—The Body, The Mind, and Action—this book offers optimum comprehensiveness and readability, and is encouraging and supportive throughout. Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety provides the most thorough resource for those looking for an honest, destigmatized approach to something experienced to varying degrees by nearly everyone.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As a therapist who has led social-anxiety support groups and a shy person herself, Hilliard is well qualified to counsel those who want to feel less apprehensive in social situations. According to Hilliard, social anxiety and fear of rejection can be so severe that they prevent the sufferer from spending time with others. In an encouraging and friendly tone and drawing on patients' stories, Hilliard offers an action plan to combat this fear. The cornerstone is setting small but effective goals that are measurable, consistent and repeatable, such as initiating a conversation with one person every day. Hilliard also recommends specific verbal and physical techniques to reduce anxiety about job interviews, public speaking, dating and even everyday interactions with friends. In addition, she provides an overview of how social anxiety can affect the mind and body, as well as a nonjudgmental guide to anti-anxiety medications. (May)
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Review

Erika Hilliard’s book is a significant contribution to our understanding of shyness and social anxiety -- Joyce Catlett, MA, co-author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

The most comprehensive self-help guide yet published on this important topic. -- Jonathan Cheek, PhD, author of Conquering Shyness, professor of pscyhology, Wellesley College

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press; Com edition (April 12, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1569243972
• ISBN-13: 978-1569243978
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 6.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #121,572 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 62 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Feel an energetic approach to reducing shyness, November 16, 2005

By 

Sarah Malik "fellow confidence seeker" (Boston, MA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence (Paperback)

The book begins with the usual discussion about the symptoms of social anxiety. But then the author goes into presenting some ideas that are novel to the broader discussion of social anxiety. An example of this is how anxiety is a process rather than a fixed thing. Yes, this is a simple idea and yet it provides a new perspective on social anxiety that makes the condition less monolithic and more changeable.

The author also presents a must-read section that ties in information that has come out of recent scientific research about how the brain works.

The author's insights and information are easier to hear and therefore easier to apply in our own lives thanks to her easy and fresh writing style. She writes with a natural feel that is strikingly authentic in the face of the more dry, scholarly writing of other social anxiety books.

The second half of the book then offers solutions in the form of goal-setting, visualization, therapy options and skill-building. Her emphasis on action takes more of a coaching approach than the traditional therapy models and this keeps us from just dreaming about what we want and actually forces us to move forward.

38 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book!, November 8, 2006

By 

Stacey Hubert (Eugene, Oregon) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence (Paperback)

If you are going to buy only one book on social anxiety, this is it. This book that not only compassionately presents various perspectives on social anxiety, but it also offers a vast array of solutions. These solutions are divided into easy to follow areas of mind, body and action. Once you've figured out how social anxiety affects you most, you can choose exactly which solutions suit you best. For extra guidance, there's an excellent appendix item full of goals that you can choose from, again, divided into areas of body, mind and action. I highly recommend this book.

46 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Shy life at its best, April 9, 2005

By 

M. LaJoue (New England) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence (Paperback)

The author clearly explains how shyness is a normal human emotion which sometimes becomes excessive in ways that block the fulfillment of personal goals. This book provides significant insights into how and why contemporary North American culture can be a particularly difficult social environment for shy people. Erika Hilliard advocates an approach through which a person can accept what is positive about being shy while at the same time learning how to work through excessive shyness, one step at a time. Her many years of experience as a leader of groups for shy people shine through in her rich examples and warm tone that help the shy reader feel not only informed but also truly understood. Her concluding chapter is an outstanding guide to how a shy person can use this book as a resource for renewing and maintaining motivation in spite of setbacks that might be encountered.