Customer Reviews

Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The book begins with the usual discussion about the symptoms of social anxiety. But then the author goes into presenting some ideas that are novel to the broader discussion of social anxiety. An example of this is how anxiety is a process rather than a fixed thing. Yes, this is a simple idea and yet it provides a new perspective on social anxiety that makes the condition less monolithic and more changeable.

The author also presents a must-read section that ties in information that has come out of recent scientific research about how the brain works.

The author's insights and information are easier to hear and therefore easier to apply in our own lives thanks to her easy and fresh writing style. She writes with a natural feel that is strikingly authentic in the face of the more dry, scholarly writing of other social anxiety books.

The second half of the book then offers solutions in the form of goal-setting, visualization, therapy options and skill-building. Her emphasis on action takes more of a coaching approach than the traditional therapy models and this keeps us from just dreaming about what we want and actually forces us to move forward.

If you are going to buy only one book on social anxiety, this is it. This book that not only compassionately presents various perspectives on social anxiety, but it also offers a vast array of solutions. These solutions are divided into easy to follow areas of mind, body and action. Once you've figured out how social anxiety affects you most, you can choose exactly which solutions suit you best. For extra guidance, there's an excellent appendix item full of goals that you can choose from, again, divided into areas of body, mind and action. I highly recommend this book.

The author clearly explains how shyness is a normal human emotion which sometimes becomes excessive in ways that block the fulfillment of personal goals. This book provides significant insights into how and why contemporary North American culture can be a particularly difficult social environment for shy people. Erika Hilliard advocates an approach through which a person can accept what is positive about being shy while at the same time learning how to work through excessive shyness, one step at a time. Her many years of experience as a leader of groups for shy people shine through in her rich examples and warm tone that help the shy reader feel not only informed but also truly understood. Her concluding chapter is an outstanding guide to how a shy person can use this book as a resource for renewing and maintaining motivation in spite of setbacks that might be encountered.

This was a very well written book, with no questions left unanswered. It helped me immensely in dealing with social anxiety and shyness, and I've incorporated alot of the suggestions into my daily life. It turned out to be more of a "self help" book than I expected in more areas than just shyness. It has helped me extremely. The author had experience in social anxiety, so she really hit home with things she expressed.

This book contains all you ever wanted to know about social anxiety, and is sure to help you understand the condition. However, I would have preferred more focus on solutions rather than so much reaching (about 300 pages). I might suggest starting with a shorter book or course (I used the program at mc2method.com which was great), and then reinforce your efforts by following up with this book. Good luck!

This book has absolutely saved my life. Now when I get that "what do they think of me" feeling, I'm able to just 'push it out.' I feel free, I feel lighter. I've been in therapy for years and it's always been about my "connection" to people, or lack there of. I was too busy in my own head to connect with others! It really helps to know that it was/is social anxiety. It's OK not be perfect. It's OK not to know everything. If I miss something, it's OK. I'm still a wonderful human being!

Anyone who wonders what others are thinking about them or overanalyzes social situations could benefit from this book. Just imagine how much better you'll feel without all that negative chatter in your head!

Great book - really helped my client who had big time problems with shyness - I am a psychotherapist and this is the best I've found.

Great book, very well written and nurturing. Different from other social anxiety books I've read in that it's not simply a 'work book' that gives you a bunch of exercises to try and 'fix' you, rather she helps instill a positive attitude about shyness/social anxiety and unique ways to approach and think about this condition. Out of three books I've read on the topic, this one has had the strongest impact on helping me achieve a higher sense of confidence and acceptance. Although it sounds paradoxical, by accepting your shyness/social anxiety as a part of you instead of a negative aspect of yourself to be controlled, you will develop a deeper sense of calm and stability in your life, and so therefore will be less intimidated and anxious in social situations. I highly recommend this book!

I was hoping this book would explore shyness in more depth and reveal deeper insights about its roots in the psyche. It was rated well, so I bought it, and I've found it hasn't really helped my understanding much. I feel like I could have writtten a lot of it from the knowledge I already have. I would recommend Feeling Good(if you haven't read it) by David Burns over this because I think it is a more direct and practical guide that more broadly and thoroughly addresses anxiety and depression.

This book may be okay for someone who is addressing his/her shyness for the first time, but besides a lot of beating around the bush about how it's okay to be shy, the true insight was lacking. The practical steps to take in learning to cope with shyness were less potent versions of exercises better described in other books. I would not call it "a comprehensive guide to gaining social confidence" and think that is a promise it doesn't keep despite it's good intention.

If I am reading a book about how to overcome shyness and the physical symptoms I would have expected it to teach you such exercises. The majority of this book tells you why you are shy and that it is not a bad thing you should pretty much just accept it and get over it. If you want to know why you are shy and what may or may not have happened to you in the past to make you more susecptable then read this book. If you want to know steps or practices to avoid while raising your child to prevent them from becoming shy then read this book.