Customer Reviews

Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults

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This book is a lifesaver for the gifted population...it presents a clear and concise overview of their inner and outer worlds, how they think and process, how they can and cannot express themselves, what is needed in their environments in order for them to thrive and offer up their unique and needed contributions to the world...I couldn't put it down because of the affirming recognition I felt in this book...the book offers enormous breakthroughs for anyone in this category who may have been living in the shadows of constant criticisms or living on the fringe for their "differentness".

For those of you who are "sensitive" and who've been told all your life you are too this, too that, and that you need to chill out, pipe down, take a break, stop thinking so much, stop talking so much, stop reading so much into everything, stop taking everything to heart, stop laughing so loud, and more...this book will help you see that you are not alone and that you are not abnormal, defective, crazy, or that something is wrong with you. You only have one life...it is so important for the gifteds and the sensitives to beam their unique perspectives out into the universe, to make their unique contributions...it is the only way for you to live your best life and the only way for humanity to move forward. There is immense power in the novel idea and in the novel perspective. Cultivate the courage to be who you are even in the face of being misunderstood. The world needs you and that is why you are here! This book will help you to cross over the painful barriers that have made you feel like you must pretend to be less than you are!

I happened upon the definition of a "gifted" child from this book on a website:

"Their excitement is viewed as excessive, their high energy as hyperactivity, their persistence as nagging, their questioning as undermining authority, their imagination as not paying attention, their passion as being disruptive, their strong emotions and sensitivity as immaturity, their creativity and self-directedness as oppositional. They stand out from the norm. But then again, what is normal?"

It is the best description of my daughter I have ever read. This book is a must have if that above statement describes your child - or even yourself! It discusses the excitabilities phychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational and emotional.

I'm 49 years old. Since elementary school I've known, accepted and embraced the fact that I'm exceptionally gifted. I derive immense satisfaction from applying my intellect and have done so without the burden of concern for how that affects other people's perception of me. However, what I never realized until reading this book is how instrumental being gifted is to my emotional makeup.

When this book arrived I started reading it and highlighting the sections with which I strongly identified. Four hours later when I finished the book and my highlighter was running dry, my perspective on my life and relationships had been permanently altered. For the first time I felt like I knew who I was and who I could become.

There are two paradoxical passages in the book that particularly struck home in describing my intense inner turmoil and emotions.

"...some gifted children protect themselves and try to hide their extreme sensitivity so that they give the mistaken impression of being unemotional, impassive or indifferent, and unresponsive to social cues." (p. 13)

"Many, too, are desperate to experience communion--a deeply resonant and reciprocal connection with another--...and they are so hungry for it." (p. 65)

In addition to giving me a new perspective on who I am, there is extremely valuable information on the requirements giftedness imposes for an effective therapeutic relationship.

It's not possible to convey in a review the depth of the profound impact this book has had. All I can say is that if you're considering buying this book then you need it.

I am 59 years old and reading this book was so very refreshing. I have been told all my life, " why do you think so much, stop thinking so much", " why do you take things to heart so much, stop it' and so forth and so on and in reality we are gifted,not bad, as we were told as we grew up. I have and will always be a good citizen, I am a retired elem teacher, but FINALLY, after hearing my mother and others say over and over what I have mentioned above, it is refreshing to get some pats on the back !!!!!!!! It is our giftedness that has caused us so much pain and misunderstandings that lead to the criticisms I mentioned above. We are just very curious and want to know and love life with a HUGE passion that most don't understand. I am so very very glad to have found this book and I have already recommended it to 2 people, one a former student who is now 21 and has struggled with the same rude comments I have heard all my life, and they sound continually like put downs, when we are the shining lights. !!! we are just often mis-understood by others. If you have a wee one like this, please read this book and know how to not stifle them.

I learned a lot reading this book and it proved helpful in understanding myself without the often biased looks from others. Readers need to be prepared to challenge their beliefs about things like "being too sensitive" - it's not a liability, it's an asset and should indeed be seen this way. This book provides helpful advice on how to handle / cope with difficult situations that only arise because you are special but is still easy to read and understandably written.

It was wonderful to be introduced to this book by my lecturer and then to purchase my own copy. The authors have obviously studied and known Dabrowski and his theories and this book is a treasure house of explanation for the sometimes intense responses and feelings that gifted young people and adults live with. I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is or has contact with exceptional individuals as an insightful glimpse into their world.

This book really helped me understand my gifted son. It explains why gifted children sometimes react differently than their peers and, importantly, why they sometimes react exactly the opposite way you would expect. I cannot recommend this book highly enough if you have a young gifted child...it was as if the author was personally explaining my son to me.

When we learned that my son was selected for the gifted & talented program at his school, I realized that I didn't have much of an understanding of "giftedness." This book, a compilation of articles/chapters on different aspects of giftedness and the challenges at different ages, has been very helpful in building my knowledge and awareness, and finally getting some understanding of the intensities we have been dealing with for years. Several years ago a friend described my son as always "on"; others have remarked on his energy, activity level, rapport with adults and intensity. The overview/discussion of different types of intensities or over-excitabilities has helped me understand some of my son's reactions to different situations and sensitivities to certain food textures, tags or pockets on clothes, hair on his neck after a haircut - things I've expected him to outgrow or get over quickly; at least now I can put them into some context.

I'm also learning about myself - I was attracted to this book because the title and some of the reviews touch on the book's coverage of giftedness in adults. I learned a great deal about some of my own intensities (comforting knowledge, really, after many years of being told and feeling I was too sensitive). I found myself skimming, rather than reading, some of the chapters; some of the topics covered appeal to me more than others, but overall this is a very good reference tool and introduction to many facets of giftedness.

This book is must for any parents with kids who are very intense and very active. This book not only helped me but gave me a peace of mind about things that I was worry about raising a kid who is very intense but also highly intelligent. I have changed my views about my child who I misunderstood as just hyper and just busy smart child. After reading this book, I feel I could relate to my child's needs and her emotions much better. This should be a manual book for every parents. Not just for gifted but kids who are highly emotional. I believe all kids are born with abilities and intelligence but some are misunderstood because some parents don't understand what is going on inside of a child. I wish I had this book several years early. That is my only regret after reading this book.

Excellent book for anyone dealing with giftedness and its delightful/maddening asynchronies. The title is a clear and accurate indication of the contents, and the contents are well written. The book is a collection of essays by various scholars and professionals in psychology and education. This is not a particularly light book, which I think is also one of its assets; the topic, after all, bears some serious study. Building on Dabrowski's theory of "positive disintegration," this book just might help you appreciate an "overly sensitive," "overly excitable" person in your life, including yourself!