Customer Reviews

Living a Life That Matters: Resolving the Conflict between Conscience and Success

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Rabbi Kushner has woven a fascinating series of essays together to establish a new way to think about the meaningfulness of your life choices. Spiritually, he finds many people torn between the desire to achieve significance and the call of the consciences. Like the young Jacob, some will obtain their desires by cutting corners that offend their consciences.

Drawing on his many years as a rabbi, he shares what he has learned at many death beds. Few people are concerned about dying. Those who have done good things in their lives are almost always at peace. Those who regret the timing of their deaths wish for a little more time, so that they might yet leave some marks of goodness behind them. From that perspective, he gently points out that we can achieve both the significance and the clear conscience that we crave by focusing our attention on have positive influences on others in supporting roles as family member, friend, and occasional helping hand to strangers. The move, It's a Wonderful Life, is used as an example. The Jimmy Stewart character doesn't realize how all the little things he did affected so many lives, which in turn affected so many other lives. We, too, tend to be blind to the potential influence we have.

The book has a kindness and gentleness that make its message welcome and warming. "I believe in you. I believe that you have the ability to do great things, things that will change the world for the better." I share that belief and am delighted that Rabbi Kushner has written this book.

In chapter one, the subject is the two voices of God. This essay considers the models of competition with others and our heart-felt desire to share compassion, and how the two often operate at odds with one another in young people. He ascribes the competition to a desire for significance, that many psychologists would echo as a deep human need.

In chapter two, the story of Jacob's transformation from trickster to being firmly founded in God's will is featured. I especially liked the way that the pain of winning by trickery and being tricked in turn by Laban probably affected how Jacob felt about himself.

In chapter three, you are encouraged to decide what kind of person you want to be. Rather than ask all to seek perfection in sainthood, he argues for a mixture of human competitiveness and compassion that allows us to strive and to care. This chapter includes interesting references to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and an episode of the original Star Trek series in which Kirk is divided into a good and a bad version by a transporter problem.

In chapter four, there is an interesting discussion of the psychological impacts of justice from the point of view of those who are harmed. The experience of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission is recounted along with a new type of trial in the United States where attempts are made to improve how the victims and their families feel.

In chapter five, you will learn about how wholeness (personal integrity) can be achieved. The primary example is that of Mr. Aaron Feuerstein, CEO of Malden Mills, who rebuilt his factory after a disastrous fire while keeping his employees on full salary for the first three months.

In chapter six, the key concept is that God's presence is manifested on Earth in our relations with those we love, both family and friends.

Chapter seven explores the notion of how supporting roles have big impacts too. Most of us can have these roles. If we were movie actors, we could even get an Academy award for doing this well.

Chapter eight is a thoughtful discussion of our influence on other people. I particularly liked the reference to The Bridge of San Luis Rey, and how all those who died had recently learned how to love. Young people often write to me to find out the theme of that book, and don't understand it even after lots of hints about what those who died had in common. Perhaps you have to know human love beyond your family before that message can become part of your heart.

The book ends on this note from the Talmud. "A good person, even in death, is still alive." That quote means to me that our impact is carried on in the reality and memories of those we have touched who are still alive.

Although Rabbi Kushner is obviously of the Jewish faith, he is remarkably ecumenical in his ability to reflect the perspectives of many religious and nonreligious beliefs and traditions. He has a practical bent that I appreciate, as well. For example, he points out that teens who are feeling out of sorts often respond well to taking on community service roles. That too has been my observation,

After you finish reading this rewarding book, think about how you could combine things you enjoy doing with having a more positive influence on others. For example, even if all you do is watch television, you could go watch television with people who have no one to keep them company.

Be significant in the goodness you create by following your conscience!

Few authors writing today offer the kind of comfort that Harold Kushner does. In all of his books, including his latest "Living a Life that Matters," he deals with the big issues in life, and does it in a simple writing style that manages to be both profound and soothing.

Like his readers, Kushner lives in a dual world: a world of commerce and competition, and a world where he desires to be a good person, and feels guilt when he isn't. How does a person integrate these two worlds? As in his other books, Kushner draws on biblical stories that illustrate the universal and timeless nature of this conflict. In Genesis, Jacob is a character at first wily and ambitious (he steals his brother's birthright, among other things) but also a character who has the famous wrestle with an angel. Kushner sees this image as being a perfect symbol of man's struggle with his dual nature. Throughout the book he returns to his struggle of duality, which he believes is inherant to human nature. We all desire to be good, while needing our competitive side to survive in this world. Kushner encourages that balance between the two is key to living a life that matters.

With that resolved, Kushner delves into why life has meaning in spite of our nature. He believes, as do many religious people, that every life has value to God, and even the smallest decisions we make can affect others' lives for the good. There is a nice sentiment to his spirituality, and he is gifted at handling broad topics with grace --he references sources as diverse as the Old Testement, the movie "Witness," and the Jeckyll and Hyde story to illustrate his points, and does it without seeming heavy handed or moralizing. Somehow religion makes sense when Kushner explains it -- even something as baffling as eating kosher makes perfect sense when he is done explaining it.

I've enjoyed all of Rabbi Kushner's books. This one is on par with the rest -- graceful, moving and impactful.

Living a life that matters can be easily translated into living a life of love and compassion for one's fellow man. As a result of the terrible tragedy in New York City on September 11th, there are many people searching for answers to life's meaning, and asking why...why this senseless tragegy? The unexplained mysteries of life, however tragic, are often attributed to the fact that the universe is unfolding as fate intended and that all things happen for a reason. Somtimes, it is very difficult to find "good reason" in such a time of horror. Tragedy has a way of bringing people together in time of need, and hopefully from that we find strength, understanding and love for humanity. Through all of this we struggle to find spiritual and emotional peace within ourselves and while "Living a Life That Matters" does not have all the answers, it is a book which instills goodness, understanding and compassion within us. The book helps us to see that revenge and quest for power are destructive, that material gain is really very insignificant in life's overall plan, and that love, kindness, compassion and personal strength enrich our lives a thousand times over. Each and every person we reach out to touch leaves a mark on the world and in our hearts.

Harold S. Kushner has written a book that causes the reader to look deep within themselves and decide for themselves just what kind of person they truly want to be. Chapter eight was my favourite part of the book as it points out the influence we have on others. Each and every chapter reveals an important message to us so that we may do our part in making the world a better place and, by doing so, finding solice and peace within ourselves.

In my years of ministry, I have held the hand of many dying persons. And you know what? Never has one said "I wish I had spent more time at work", or "My life would have been complete if I had got that promotion." Nope. They talk about words of love unsaid, words of anger they wish they could unsay, time that should have been spent with their kids and family that they wasted on chasing an ephemeral ideal of 'success'.

In Living a Life that Matters, Kushner has given us a timely examination of why it is that so many in our culture spend their valuable time striving for a culturally defined success that doesn't really matter, and how to reevaluate and reorient for a meaningful life. Kushner's wonderful stories and examples, as well as clear entertaining writing make this a gem. It's easy to read, and as deep as the night sky.

If you are a person with an unsettled feeling in your soul, wondering what your life really means after all, Kushner's book is a great place to start looking for answers.

Kushner has written another wonderful book with piercing insights into what life is about and what makes a life matter. He uses the story of Jacob throughout to illustrate his points. Kushner discusses topics of revenge, and what is more satisfying than getting even. I thought this paragraph by the author really eloquent in showing the difference between religious people and Godly people regarding prophecy:

"If the words you speak are hard for you to utter and hard for others to hear, if you get no pleasure from speaking them but you feel you must, then you can believe that they come from God. On the other hand, if your words make you popular and win you easy applause, or if people don't like hearing them but you get a certain pleasure from speaking them...then you may have reason to suspect that those are your own thoughts disguising themselves as the Word of God. When I hear politicians and preachers condemning the sinful ways of the society around them, I often agree with their criticisms but I don't hear the pain in their voices. It ought to hurt them more to condemn their neighbors..."

This is so eloquent and so true. It shows that there's definitely something wrong when one sees religious people condemning others to hell or some horrible fate and not showing sadness or grief about it.

Harold Kushner covers so much ground in his book, so many topics, as to what really matters. So much of it he describes as love - loving others, making a difference in people's lives, making others' lives easier. All of these things make a life that matters.

But one of my favorite sections of the book was the afterward, added after the book had been out for a while. This book was originally published a week before the September 11, 2001, attacks in the USA. The author added an afterward that really spoke to my heart. It is very similar in tone to his book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." I found it to be very comforting and offer new insights on the attacks, the families who were directly affected, why God allowed them to happen, and more.

A very uplifting, very inspiring book well worth adding to your library or at least checking out from the library.

It's almost eerie that this book appeared September 2001, just as Americans are reeling with shock after senseless terrorist attacks killed thousands of civilians. Rabbi Kushner's books have comforted me in the past, and I was glad to see this new one published just when we need it. Kushner writes with insight about the inner human struggle between what we know is right or good and the self-serving impulses that tempt us. He writes about the desire for revenge and the morality of justice and forgiveness. The author quotes from various religious texts as well as world literature, mythology, and history to explore themes of the conscience. He manages to articulate moral issues with remarkable insight and wisdom, and without being teachy-preachy. The book deals with weighty issues but is a breeze to read. I recommend it to anyone struggling to understand his/her own conscience and those of other humans.

I bought this book in an airport a few days after the terrorist attack. I wanted a diversion but it was much more than that to me. My plane landed just as I read the last page. In just two hours, my outlook on the world was completely transformed.
At a time when our country is agonizing over the distinction between justice and revenge, this book puts it all into perspective. This book is a must read!

Rabbi Kushner's latest book offers wonderful reflections on living a life with purpose and meaning. Having had the opportunity to read this book amidst the news of terror and destruction emanating from NYC, his words become even more poignant as many of us seek to reconcile the basic human drive to achieve and succeed in a material world with the desire to craft lives devoted to spiritual and emotional enrichment.

The author articulately conveys the "need to matter" so important in our daily lives whether it be in our chosen career, our relationships with family, or in society in general. The theme of this book reminds me of Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" in that Rabbi Kushner reminds us that a life worth living is a life filled with love friendship and devotion.

Enjoyed the taped version of LIVING A LIFE THAT MATTERS by Harold S. Kushner, a rabbi . . . but the author's occupation shouldn't deter anybody from reading this thought-provoking little book that according to the subtitle, will help you in RESOLVING THE CONFLICT BETWEEN CONSCIENCE AND SUCCESS.

Kushner, also the author of WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE (one of my all-time favorites), skillfully blends examples from the Bible, movies and literature into this effort
that got me thinking about the significance of my life.

He gave lots of useful suggestions, too . . . such as this one, in particular: if you ever had a teacher who made a difference in your life, drop that person a note to that effect . . . you'll be
amazed at how rarely that is done and, also, how positive the impact will be.

I also liked the following passages:
Most people are not afraid of ding; they're afraid of not having lived.

Goodness and love show us that we've got it [life] together.

People die, but love does not die. It is recycled from one life to another.

According to the Bible, a good person--even if dead--is still alive.

If you could spend some time with an elder who is passionate
about the topic of how to find meaning in one's life, it would be
Harold S. Kushner. In his book, "LIVING A LIFE THAT MATTERS,"
Kushner, a rabbi, draws extensively from the Old Testament to
examine the course of one's lifetime as a series of ever-changing
challenges. He explores greed and generosity, dishonesty and
truthfulness, all the while striving to find the lesson, the kernel of
truth that he can share with his readers to re-affirm that life has a
purpose.

In the end, the "Life that Matters" is one in which we
make a positive difference to others, a life guided by care,
compassion, courage, and faith. We all think about what we want
to do with our lives at one point or another, and good authors can
help us see possibilities we may have overlooked. For those who
want to strengthen their ability to live fully and make a difference
in the quality of living in their world, I wholeheartedly recommend
Ariel and Shya Kane's "WORKING ON YOURSELF DOESN'T WORK" -
another booked which truly moved me.