Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want [Hardcover]

Ronald J. Frederick (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 3, 2009

In LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT, author Ronald J. Frederick, does a brilliant job of describing why people are so afraid of their emotions and how this fear creates a variety of problems in their lives. While the problems are different, the underlying issue is often the same. At the core of their distress is what Dr. Frederick refers to as feelings phobia. Whether it s the experience of love, joy, anger, sadness, or surprise, our inborn ability to be a fully feeling person has been hijacked by fear--and it s fear that s keeping us from a better life.

The book begins with a questionnaire-style list that help readers take an honest look at themselves and recognize whether and how they are afraid of their feelings. It then moves on to explore the origins of fear of feeling and introduces a four-part program for overcoming the fear: (1) Become aware of and learn to recognize feelings--anger, sadness, joy, love, fear, guilt/shame, surprise, disgust. (2) Master techniques for taming the fear. (3) Let the feeling work its way all the way through to its resolution. (4) Open up and put those feelings into words and communicate them confidently. With wisdom, humor, and compassion, the book uses stories and examples to help readers see that overcoming feelings phobia is the key to a better life and more fulfilling relationships.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Finally, someone is helping us get closer to our emotions and who we are—instead of further away from our power. A moving and inspirational read for anyone in the challenging times we're all going through." —Melody L. Beattie, NY Times bestselling author of Codependent No More

"What a joy it is to read Dr. Ron Frederick’s Living Like You Mean It. Well informed, accessible and engaging, this wonderful book is full of powerful strategies that will enliven your soul, enrich your relationships, and help you have a more deeply meaningful life. I recommend it with enthusiasm!" —John Bradshaw, NY Times bestselling author of Healing the Shame that Binds You

"With compelling insight into the way emotion shapes our lives, Living Like You Mean It invites us on a tremendously useful journey into the mind and brain and shows us how the day-to-day ways we defend against feeling our feelings keeps us from living the lives we really want. But no more! Through practical suggestions, compelling stories, and powerful insights, this book dishes up a readily accessible plan to free us from the prison of our own fear of feeling. Frederick is a liberating guide—and after joining him on this trek, you’ll be ready to feel fully alive!" —Daniel J. Siegel, MD, director, the Mindsight Institute, and author of The Mindful Brain

"Brimming with heart and soul, and scientifically sound, Living Like You Mean It is a brilliant book for anyone wanting to get unstuck and live a happier, more fulfilling life." —Marci Shimoff, NY Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason

"Ron Frederick is a master therapist and a gifted teacher. With energy and passion, he guides the reader through the vibrant inner landscape of the emotions. The tools and insights he offers can help prevent depression and anxiety. Even more, they point the way toward a vital and engaged life—a life fully lived." —Henry Emmons, MD, author of The Chemistry of Joy

Review

"Where shall we run if we run from ourselves? This book asks us to look anew at our models of health and happiness and to realize that personal liberation is not possible if we are not at liberty to feel what we feel. Through stories and examples, Ron Frederick walks us through that issue in a way that is simple, clear, and focused and that has a chance to fundamentally change human lives." —Steven C. Hayes, PhD, University of Nevada, author of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

"Written like he means it—and clearly he does—Ron Frederick's book is a gift, written by a master clinician and an amazing person. His heart and soul, his humor and sparkling intelligence, his pathos and practicality, are all there from the great title to the very last word. Down to earth and with a twinkle in his eyes, Ron Frederick is the guide and companion you have been looking for. As he passionately makes clear: you can shed your resignation and vitality and joy can be yours again. And as you journey to reconnect with yourself and those you love—you will not be alone. Step by step, you feel him with you, steady and wise. What a great book! I will recommend it to my patients and friends alike. And, what's more, I can't wait to read it again." —Diana Fosha, PhD, Director of the AEDP Institute. author of The Transforming Power of Affect

"Dr. Frederick's wise and powerful book is an inspiration. It is also a practical guide to help us feel more deeply, face our fears more confidently, and live each moment more fully." —Dr. Larina Kase, Author of The Confident Leader: How the Most Successful People Go from Effective to Exceptional, and the New York Times Bestseller The Confident Speaker

"Dr. Frederick’s first book demonstrates his gift of communicating in an accessible, human, meaningful manner about one of life’s most important mysteries—the true value and purpose of our emotions. He shows us how to navigate the guidance system they provide on the road to happiness, fulfillment and depth in our lives. Hopefully, this will be the first of many books from this gifted writer." —Joseph Bailey, Licensed psychologist and bestselling author of Fearproof Your Life and Slowing Down to the Speed of Life

"It is a delight to read a book on emotions that integrates so much of the cutting edge research in brain, body, mind and attachment. Ron Fredrick has managed to take difficult concepts and translate them into language that is understandable. This is a book for those who seek to reconnect with their own emotions, and with the emotions of people they care about. I highly recommend "Living Like You Mean It." —Marion Solomon, PhD, Director of Clinical Training, Lifespan Learning Institute. author of Lean on Me

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (March 3, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470377038
• ISBN-13: 978-0470377031
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #374,404 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A greatly needed, clear and concise guide to the world of emotions., March 15, 2009

By 

T. Beyer - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want (Hardcover)

As a licensed psychologist, I read many self-help books so I can make informed recommendations to my clients. LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT stands out from the crowd and is one I'll definitely be recommending. Dr. Frederick has done a wonderful job of integrating sound, cutting-edge science with real life examples to clearly illustrate how our own discomfort with our emotions, what he refers to as "feelings phobia", keeps us from having the life we really want. His four-step approach to overcoming fear and learning how to open up to and make good use of our emotions is clearly articulated and easy to follow. Practical exercises are amply provided throughout to help guide the reader along their way and readily apply the strategies to their own lives. It's easy to see how one can readily increase their emotional mindfulness and begin to use their feelings as a guide to making good life and relationship choices. I especially appreciated the summarization provided at the end of each chapter making it easy to review the wealth of material covered therein. Well done!

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The "how to" of change, March 25, 2009

By 

Donna Fraser (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want (Kindle Edition)

"Living Like You Mean It" is a phenomenal book that recognizes the power and centrality of our emotions in shaping our behavior and thus our lives. Drawing from the latest research in neuroscience and emotion theory the author explains why our emotions are so powerful and how avoidance of our feelings cuts us off from our authentic selves and leads to symptoms such as depression and anxiety. Ron Frederick is a warm and wise guide - teaching through stories, he also offers practical tools and techniques with which we may learn to work skillfully with our feelings. This book is an important resource and I highly recommend it.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want, March 23, 2009

By 

P. Bolger (St. Paul, MN.) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want (Kindle Edition)

This is a terrific book! As a non-therapist I felt the book was accessible, easy to understand, fun to read and full of great examples and practical advice that I could immediately apply to my life. Dr. Frederick's personal stories helped me understand how I can face my own fears and live a more fulfilling life. I recommend this book!