Customer Reviews

Living Nightmares of Abuse

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

...I'm not even sure where to start with this review..this book is one of the most painful stories I've read in a while. Phyllis Benton takes us along through the journey of her life; from a childhood spent in a motherless home as one of eight children, to foster care, to one abusive marraige followed by another. It's hard to stomach at times -- especially when you stop and consider that the story is real. This really happened. Ms. Benton truly did suffer through these events; and not only did she survive them, but she chose to share them with the world..that in itself deserves some applause..

The story is honest and raw, at times frustrating, at times horrifying. The story moves quickly from childhood up through to adulthood. It is written in a simple manner -- no sugar coating or fancy words to distort the true ugliness of the author's world. You can't help but continue reading, as you want the author to triumph over all the hardships in her world..

If you suffer from abuse, or know anyone who does, this is a book that you, or they, should read. Probably, you should read it two or three times. On a personal note, I work with teenagers who are in state custody due to abuse and/or neglect in their biological homes...and I plan to hand this book directly to them and make it available to any of them to read. It's an inspirational book in its own way and I highly recommend it to you all.

Phyllis Benton was born and raised in McKinley, Maine, a small fishing harbor community. She was one of eight children and was raised in a house with no running water or electricity. Her mother was usually always cooking, cleaning or tending to the children. Her father was always working menial jobs and did what he could to feed his family. Phyllis grew up only knowing what was in her world. Her world was not full of riches; it was in fact very meager. Phyllis's world took a tremendous turn for the worst when her mother left for an easier life. Phyllis's father had no choice but to hand his eight children over to the county for foster care. This is where her journey of true survival began. Phyllis went from many foster homes to a marriage that failed and then on to an even more horrific life as a battered wife. Phyllis Benton's desire to survive as you will reads in her book is amazing and she has proven to be a very strong woman. Her ability to complete and earn a college degree in Office Systems Technology from Mitchell Community College in North Carolina was one of her highest moments in her journey of life. I am honored to have been asked to review Phyllis's book. It is truly a journey of strength and survival.

About the Book: Living Nightmares of Abuse

"Living Nightmares of Abuse" is a very well written biography. Phyllis shows great ability in her descriptive techniques with every word she uses in writing about her life. This book is one of several types of abuse. Phyllis shares with us through this book her horrors of child abuse, wife battery, and pure fear of being imprisoned and stalked by men in her life that she trusted enough to marry. Living Nightmares of Abuse will make you hate and even want to take action against wife abusers. You will be amazed at the strength that Phyllis finds deep within herself, when she finds herself at the mercy of wife abuse again and again. With no money and no place to go, she continues onward, taking her readers with her through her book, to experience the pain and loneliness that kept her going forward. This book was written in hopes to share a story of survival when one feels up against all odds. Additionally, "Living Nightmares of Abuse" will also bring to you a feeling of joy as Phyllis shares her dream come true when she finally meets a man that not only shows her respect but also teaches her to take life as it comes and to, "not worry about things she cannot change".

Recommendation: Womensselfesteem.com highly recommends this book to anyone that feels they are trapped in an abusive relationship and will never get out. Thank you Phyllis for sharing your life with womensselfesteem.com!

Hey, it's Allison. Just got finished reading your book-excellent job!!!!! Yep, I read it all, from the time I got home around 3:00 till now 9:00-I couldn't put it down (well long enuff for a cigarette now and then ha-ha) you did a really good job. I have learned so much about you and in a way, I have a different kind of respect and admiration for you-not that I didn't respect and admire you before-I think you know what I mean. It's kind of neat to know someone like you personally. I've learned you are a very strong person and deserve every little good thing that comes your way. I know you've been married for awhile now but I feel like a congratulations are in order-hats off to your husband!! I think your book is an inspiration and you can help others in situations like you were in. I loved the beginning of the book I think-that's what got me hooked. You explained everything so vividly-It was like I was right there freezing with you in that cold weather. It was like a movie or something. Very good job!! Can't wait till your next book-keep up the good work and best wishes to you. Thank you for sharing your life. It looks like you've made the best of it and I'm glad you're alive today to share it with others!!!! Thanks again and see ya at work. Oh yeah, Merry Christmas to you and yours!!!
Love, Allison Price

"Living Nightmares of Abuse" is Diane Benton's memoirs of her childhood, abusive relationships, failed marriages and her quest for solace and happiness. Having eight children, the family did not have a lot of money, but Diane has plenty of fond memories shared with her siblings. However, as she gets older, her parents divorce, and the hardships begin. Diane's mother finds a new boyfriend, a man who tries to molest Diane and her sisters. Seven of the children are put into foster care. Diane marries at a young age, a marriage that ends rather amicably years later. Her second marriage is to a truck driver named Eric, an abusive man who physically, emotionally, and verbally torments Diane until she feels she has no more self-worth. She tries to commit suicide, believing she has no other options. After years of Eric's abuse, she finally has the courage to leave him behind as she drives during a snowstorm out of Maine. She escapes Eric, but the anguish is not over. She meets Henry next, another abuser, from whom she becomes free when he passes away. After many heartbreaking relationships, Diane finally feels some fulfillment after meeting and marrying David, whom she believes is her true love and guardian angel. Her hurtful experiences in life have at long last given way to something truly satisfying. Diane's story is written with such detail and emotion, the reader feels like he/she is experiencing life right along with her in this heartrending memoir.
[...]

Living Nightmares of Abuse is a disturbing account of how Phyllis Benton was physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by three different men spanning over two decades of her life beginning in her early teens until her final freedom only five years ago.

This tragic story proves, without a doubt, that if a woman does not get help from the outside, she will continue to attract and be attracted to the same type of abusive men and relationships. This story is not for the lighthearted.

Most of Phyllis's story takes place in Bass Harbor, Maine where Phyllis grew up with a father who loved her dearly. The horrors of abuse begin when Phyllis is only twelve-years old and her sexually promiscuous mother leaves Phyllis alone in the house quite frequently with her depraved lover.

When Phyllis tells her mother about this disgusting old man touching her all over, she doesn't believe Phyllis, and continues to bring her lovers into the family home while her husband labors to feed all eight of the children.

The Department of Family Services finally steps in when Phyllis's emotionally abusive mother won't take care of her children properly. Phyllis and her seven siblings are separated from each other and placed in foster homes throughout different areas in Maine. Phyllis misses her brothers and sisters dearly.

While living in foster care, Phyllis was attacked by a man that was also living there. Phyllis complained to the foster mother in charge, and she didn't believe her. The foster mother didn't want problems from these children and she sent Phyllis back to Family Services.

For six years, Phyllis is in and out of different foster homes feeling neglected and defeated. The day before Phyllis turned eighteen she moves back home to live with her dad and older brother. Unfortunately, Phyllis's happiness is short lived when she gets married thinking she is in love with the man of her dreams. He tries to love Phyllis the best he can, but he is insecure and jealous, which makes him emotionally abusive towards Phyllis. Thankfully she was able to get out of this destructive relationship.

Violence begins to escalate when Phyllis marries her second husband, a ruthless truck driver who controls and abuses her countless times during their estranged seven-year marriage. This marriage is a living, walking nightmare of abuse. At one point a major concussion sends Phyllis to the hospital where the doctors fear she might not make it. Phyllis can't take the elements of violence and mental control any longer and she attempts suicide by overdosing, only to wake up later very ill in the hospital. She wishes she had died.

It is during her third marriage that Phyllis tries to leave her alcoholic abuser many times, but the horrible monster always finds her. He wields his manipulative control to persuade Phyllis that he is a changed man, never to beat her again, and Phyllis believes him. But soon the abuse starts again, even worse than before. The physical abuse wanes when her husband is diagnosed with lung cancer, becomes ill, and dies months later.

Finally free from the excruciating years of torment by her abusers, Phyllis meets David. David is different and she knows it. He doesn't try to control Phyllis, he isn't jealous of her friends, and most importantly, he gave Phyllis back what she lost, her self worth.

Phyllis loves David with all her heart and soul. David has given Phyllis hope for finding the peace and contentment that she has never had in her life. David encourages Phyllis to go to college, and today, Phyllis Benton is the proud holder of a college degree in Systems Technology.

In 2001 Phyllis married David, whom she calls her guardian angel, and she is now a much happier and freer person today. Phyllis knows that with her guardian angel by her side, she won't ever live in her nightmares of abuse anymore.

I recommend this book to anyone who is in a controlling, and or abusive relationship of any nature. Phyllis has given victims of domestic violence hope for their future as she courageously recounts her own terror of being under the manipulative control of abusive and violent relationships.

Thank you, Diane for sharing your deepest secrets with the world.

Angie Lewis, author

Journey on the Roads Less Traveled

http://spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com