Living in Step [Paperback]

Ruth Roosevelt (Author), Jeannette Lofas (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1977

no description

Editorial Reviews

Review

The first book to deal so comprehensively with a new type of family. This is a vitally important book." -- Harris Peck, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry, Albert Einstein College of Medicine --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Jeannette Lofas, CSW, is the founder and director of the Stepfamily Foundation, Inc., a not-for-profit organization recognized as the leader in the study of stepfamilies. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Tab Books (August 1977)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0070535965
• ISBN-13: 978-0070535961
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #251,146 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a must for anyone living in step, April 25, 2000

By 

Valerie Smith (California, U S A) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living in Step (Paperback)

This book helped me to understand the feelings of my husband, his children and my own. In every situtation possible, this book makes you say "yeah thats how it really is and yes, I now understand". A real eye opener to anyone in any step situtation. Please read this before you leap into a step situtation. It will help you deal with alot of emotional garbage.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Better than the rest, October 17, 2001

By 

Fred Hutchinson (Tullahoma, TN United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living in Step (Paperback)

Prior to becoming a step parent I rushed to the bookstore and pulled the only three step parenting books they had off the shelf and bought them. Thank God one of them happened to be this one. Living In Step proved to be a far superior guild than the other two.

The book is well written and VERY practical. As a guy I was concerned I would have to wade through a lot of touchy feeling .... Not so. This book comes straight to the point. I liked how it is broken into sections for the step father and step mother. I was able to concentrate on the step father parts and skim over the step mother section just enough to understand how my new wife would be effected by this too.

I am nearly five years into this new relationship with my step child from when I first read this book and it has proved itself to be worth it's weight in gold. Early in the relationship when a situation would happen, I could just smile inside because I had been forewarned. Rejection from my step child was not the end but the beginning of a transition they, and I, had to go through to get where we are today. The book gave me the ability to embrace situations as they arose instead of running away in horror.

Do whatever you have to do to get this book. It can change your relationship for the better.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars good introduction, and misses four critical topics, August 12, 2004

By 

Peter Gerlach (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living in Step (Paperback)

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 66, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.

I recommend this pioneering book to readers who want a readable, well-illustrated introduction to stepfamily life. I do not recommend it to anyone who wants to know the core reasons most US stepfamilies are significantly stressful, and why millions redivorce or endure daily agony. Lofas and Roosevelt omit these essential points, which will combine to block typical readers from following their well-meant advice:

1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood (vs. divorce. Most divorced and stepfamily adults appear to be significantly wounded - and don't know it;

2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it. All stepfamilies follow (and cause) a series of profound losses (broken bonds);

3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities, norms, implications, and hazards. And...

4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.

In my clinical experience, these factors will often promote needy, love-dazed courting co-parents to commit to the wrong people (mate, stepkids, and "other parent/s"), for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. Then the factors inhibit co-parents from identifying and resolving these core personal, role, and relationship problems:

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