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on June 30, 2000
Following the death of my wife, this book was sent to me by her best friend. It was by far the best book on dealing with grief that I read. I have since sent it to several others (including my mother-in-law and mother) who have also found some comfort in knowing that the intense and (fortunately) unfamiliar feelings associated with grief are actually normal. This would be the first resource that I would recommend to anyone dealing with the death of a loved one.
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on September 6, 2005
I read this book shortly after the death of my husband, who was also my best friend, my lover, my confidante and my soulmate. Nothing can ease the pain of losing him, but this book helped me understand that what I was feeling was okay...and to be expected. I would recommend this to anyone who is grieving for the loss of a loved one, since it has specific chapters for different losses, i.e., spouse, sibling, parent, etc. I have returned to various sections of this book as I pass through the many stages of grief and always found it helpful.
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on August 1, 2001
...After our son died I was devastated. I needed to understand the feelings that I was now experiencing and how to cope with them. This book was the clearest and most compassionate resource on grief that I've found. Dr. Rando discusses every unique type of loss a person could face and then goes on to explain why you will feel as you do. The last part of her book is dedicated to helping you understand how to resolve grief and heal from such loss. So far I have given away 4 copies of this book to friends and family. I even gave one to my sons psychiatrist. They have all had high praises for the book. Personally, I don't know how I would have survived this past year without it!
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on April 6, 1999
I just read the other review & find it terribly unfair. I was given a copy of this book after the death of my son and found it very helpful. All topics concerning grief were dealt with matter of factly. As to cultural relevance, we write about what we know. I don't think Dr. Rando is saying this is the way you have to do anything. Like many things, you take what speaks to you and what you can use. It is well organized and the secions are brief. Many times you are incapable of reading long passages after dealing with a loss. It gets right to the heart of the matter. Great book.
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on March 18, 2005
As a clinical psychologist, I find this book to be the most constructive resource for clients who have experienced a loss. It says all the things that I want my clients to hear. Therese Rando conveys compassion throughout the book, and knows how to normalize the many aspects of grief. Although she draws on a host of personal and professional experiences, she remains true to the research on grief and never misinforms her readers. If you have lost a loved one recently, please be sure to read this book.
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on April 28, 1999
I lost my first husband 5 years ago. He was 48, I was 42.He was chronically ill with complications from diabetes. After his death, I searched the bookstores for the books that would help me get through the grieving process. I was lucky to have chosen this book. It beacme my resource. It qualified the feelings I was feeling, the thoughts, the sadness...etc.....I remember having some sort of a feeling and going to the "book", there it was, an answer a qualification.. I bless Dr. Rando... I now give this book to the bereaved instead of flowers or mass cards.I add a personal note in the book. I can not tell you how many people have learned from the book. They all feel the same way as I do. It is written with heart and soul and truly touches the bereaved. We must go on.. Just as an aside I am re-married to a wonderful man. I have been blessed twice..I credit "How to Go On LIving" with helping me turn my life around, deal with what I needed to deal with.Most of all I had to go on and learn that death is a part of life and that we all must grieve in our own way. Thank You Therese.. how I wish I could meet you....I'll be in Rhode Island in July! How about lunch??
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on May 22, 1999
After the murder of my daughter five years ago, I too began the search for something that would help relieve my pain. I read many books and articles and, of course, received some insight from many. After reading Dr. Rando's book I concluded that I had found the one which could serve me both as a grieving father and a professional counselor who is now involved in providing support to others.
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on August 31, 1999
I lost my mother suddenly and unexpectedly. My wife lost her mother eight weeks later after a lingering illness. Of all the books we have read on grieving, this is one of the two or three most helpful. This is especially good on the differences among individuals in grieving and the fact that each person's experience will be unique. I found the sex-role discussions occasionally too stereotypical, but otherwise this accepts and addresses a very wide range of circumstances, factors and issues in the grieving process.
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on December 16, 2003
I have lost my mother four months ago. I was desperately looking for words of confort and also ways to understand my feelings and what I was going through. Even though I consider it an excellent book, it lacks something important for us mourners, the spiritual part. However if you are looking for a book that explains in a scientific way the feelings and emotions one can go through this is a good book. But again, it would be better to be read with another book that gives confort during such a tought time.
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on July 15, 2010
My mother recently passed away and when she did, I looked for some sort of resource that could help or explain to me what to expect in trying to deal with her death in a compassionate yet factual way. I disclosed my recent loss to a psychotherapist in which she recommended this book to me. I got exactly what I needed.

Dr. Rando does an excellent job of explaining the process of grief, how to resolve it while giving advice on what to do, what you can experience in specific situations of emotional loss and how to deal with them. The references to her beliefs on religion are brief, make up about a total of approximately a paragraph and a half in the book, respectfully, and are hers alone.

Otherwise, Dr. Rando makes no attempt to proslytize for religion and her information is very good. What I am feeling and what one experiences after losing a loved one, while emotionally painful, is completely normal. Like Therese Rando explains, experiencing grief isn't just limited to the death of a spouse, parent, or child. You also go through it in other circumstances too such as when a loving relationship you have ends. Death is a natural part of life. While you may not be able to end the pain associated when a loved one dies or if you experience a tremendous emotional loss, as Theresa Rando explains in this book, you can learn to accept it and move on.

The best way to deal with grief in your life is not to try to deal with it exclusively on your own but also to know the facts about it, what to expect, and what ways you can deal with the emotional pain when someone you love dies. Reading a book on grief may not make the emotional pain go away, but it's a good place to start. If you do decide to read something to help you through your bereavement, choose this book.
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