Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars [Paperback]

Marsha Means (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1999

Written by Marsha Means, this book offers specific, proactive steps readers can take in their journey toward wholeness. They'll learn how to find the support they need, grieve the losses of sexual betrayal, focus on their own spiritual growth, and move toward forgiveness and moving on--whatever the outcome of their marriage.

Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars will give strength to women who are struggling with their mate's sexual entanglements.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Any woman whose life has been shattered by her husbands secrets will find courage and strength in the pages of this helpful book. Consider it your instruction manual to putting the pieces of your life back together -- Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University; authors of Relationships

As a counselor, I found this book immensely practical in helping men and women struggle through to find resolution and hope. As a woman, I found it compassionate, deeply personal and honest. Marsha has provided hope and direction for those whose secret wars have yet to be discovered and whose battles have yet to be won -- Jan Frank, author, counselor, speaker

Marsha Meanss book is a must read for every woman who has a husband struggling with sexual addictions. In these pages is a compassionate portrayal of these women, and she offers some how tos in dealing with their husbands and their private devastations. A wonderful book! -- Ann Kiemel Anderson

The wife of a sex addict must also confront the secret sin of her husbands addiction. Beginning with the devastating disclosure or discovery, she must deal with her emotions, grieve her losses, and - most importantly - identify and change her own part in the addictive dance. Marsha Meanss book is an excellent guide for women who seek recovery and healing. It correctly points wives toward changing themselves, rather than focusing on their husbands. With biblical principles as a foundation, this helpful resource offers information, understanding, challenges, and hope. Living with Your Husbands Secret Wars will be my standard recommendation to Christian wives who are married to sexual addicts -- Marnie C. Ferree, M.A., marriage and family therapist, Nashville, Tennessee

About the Author

Marsha Means and her husband, Pat, host a radio program called Love under Fire in Seattle, Washington. They also have a ministry called "Love under Fire," which provides hope and healing for couples in crisis over workaholism, substance abuse, sexual addictions, and extramarital affairs.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Revell; Reprinted edition (October 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800757106
• ISBN-13: 978-0800757106
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #99,074 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #22 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Recovery > Sexual

More About the Author

I never planned to specialize in sexual addiction, or write books to provide light to women who love men trapped by this devastating problem. The path that led me here began twenty years ago when I realized the wonderful man I saw as my perfect Prince Charming brought the addiction with him. It was my personal search for answers and help that eventually led me to pursue my Master's degree in Marriage & Family Therapy and to write on the topic.

Since then, there has been much pain and many losses because of sex addiction. But there have also been a great many joys and new additions to my life. God has shown me he never wastes anything--even pain--and that even our heartache can serve to help others if we allow him to shape it. He has filled my world with beautiful, courageous women, women I think of as my dear sisters scattered around our planet; sisters with me on this undesired journey.

And he has shown me he is indeed a God of new beginnings, and that Jeremiah 29:11 holds true for me, and I know it can also hold true for you as well. "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." NIV

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 80 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right ON, April 14, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars (Paperback)

I was so relieved to find this book. My husband has struggled with sexual addiction since before our marriage. It is such a confusing subject, especially in todays accepting society. I was so thankful to know the truth concerning the damage pornography has on intimate relationships. It is a relief to find such honesty. Women discuss the pain this type of addiction has caused them. I now know that my feelings are valid and I am not crazy to be upset about my husband's use of pornography. It has and is doing real damage to all concerned. I am seeking help now for codependancy on my part. The book reccomends paths to healing which I am eager to begin. Thanks Marsha!

52 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The way to healing, March 23, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars (Paperback)

IN the last year I have read many books on this subject. This is the best one so far written for the wives of sexual addicts. It does not focus on HIS problem, the why's and how's of his motives and recovery. It is not written in a way that caused me to relive the pain through the stories of other women's pain. It has helped me to see a way for MY recovery from the pain his addiction has caused. To see hope and healing no matter what the outcome of the relationship. It is filled with stories of other women who had made through to the other side of this awful journey. As well as comments from the husbands that hurt them. Some remained married, some didn't, but all found healing. The strong biblical basis is exactly what I needed. It was practical, encouraging, honest, and very helpful. It will lead YOU on the road to recovery from the betrayl and suffering caused by your husbands infidelity.

75 of 83 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Off the Mark, August 8, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars (Paperback)

I was totally disapointed with this book. After reading lots of reviews for this, as well as other books on this topic, I decided I'd have to take a chance with it. I guess I shouldn't have. The majority of the book was about support groups; finding and/or starting one for (you the reader) having spouses with sexual addictions... This book seemed to be more geared towards actual physical unfaithfulness such as sex with prostitutes, random sexual affairs, etc. If you are looking for a book on pornography and internet affair issues, I wouldn't recommend this book.