Customer Reviews

Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

I was so relieved to find this book. My husband has struggled with sexual addiction since before our marriage. It is such a confusing subject, especially in todays accepting society. I was so thankful to know the truth concerning the damage pornography has on intimate relationships. It is a relief to find such honesty. Women discuss the pain this type of addiction has caused them. I now know that my feelings are valid and I am not crazy to be upset about my husband's use of pornography. It has and is doing real damage to all concerned. I am seeking help now for codependancy on my part. The book reccomends paths to healing which I am eager to begin. Thanks Marsha!

IN the last year I have read many books on this subject. This is the best one so far written for the wives of sexual addicts. It does not focus on HIS problem, the why's and how's of his motives and recovery. It is not written in a way that caused me to relive the pain through the stories of other women's pain. It has helped me to see a way for MY recovery from the pain his addiction has caused. To see hope and healing no matter what the outcome of the relationship. It is filled with stories of other women who had made through to the other side of this awful journey. As well as comments from the husbands that hurt them. Some remained married, some didn't, but all found healing. The strong biblical basis is exactly what I needed. It was practical, encouraging, honest, and very helpful. It will lead YOU on the road to recovery from the betrayl and suffering caused by your husbands infidelity.

I was totally disapointed with this book. After reading lots of reviews for this, as well as other books on this topic, I decided I'd have to take a chance with it. I guess I shouldn't have. The majority of the book was about support groups; finding and/or starting one for (you the reader) having spouses with sexual addictions... This book seemed to be more geared towards actual physical unfaithfulness such as sex with prostitutes, random sexual affairs, etc. If you are looking for a book on pornography and internet affair issues, I wouldn't recommend this book.

I read this book for a friend and it was nowhere near as good as Breaking Free (by Russ Willingham) that my husband and I read to address the same problem. From what I gathered, Marsha Means has never herself experienced sexual betrayal, just the fear of it. She has some basic info on codependency in the book, but I would argue that the wife chapter in Breaking Free is just as practical without all the scary stories with no resolution. If your husband wants to change, read Breaking Free together and leave this one on the shelf. You might find yourself loving your husband through his not-so-secret wars, not just living with him.

At last a book that really speaks to my heart. This book covers so many of the different types of sexual addiction out there. Yes, it does have a Christian foundation in the recovery process, but that is what I needed. When testimonials are given by other women, they speak to my heart and help with the grief. Sexual addiction is a struggle of morality. It violates our wedding vows, it makes you wonder who you have been lying next to in bed, going to church with, and eating family dinners with. This book has helped me understand this is not my problem, but I can be there for him. So many books send the message that it's his problem so I should go off and take care of myself, to heck with him. This book gives a hope to repair my broken heart and be there for him.

As a Christian this is one of the books I've read on sexual addiction that has caused me to look at myself and how I am not being honest with God or myself. Having a spouse with this addiction is shameful to them and yourselves. This book helps to give steps to feel it, deal with it, and get past it. But you have to be ready to honest with yourself.

I purchased this book as a guide to understanding and coping with my husbands sex addiction. After reading 3/4 of the book I couldn't read anymore. I was becoming more and more depressed about my situation and ready to run from it. The night I read this book I ended up getting in a fight with my husband, accusing him of sleeping with prostitutes and freaking out that I might have gotten aids or some other disease from him. This book is filled with distorted examples of various couples' situations and how the woman has chosen to deal with it and what the results of her decision were. It is in no way a guide to understanding or dealing with the addiction as it offered very limited information on the subject and the root causes for it (which have nothing to do with the woman). There was nothing pleasant or reassuring about it. I don't think it was written to help you cope with the situation but rather to be afraid of it and run!!! I would not recommend this book to any woman in this situation as it caused even more hostility and distrust between my husband and I.

I read this book when I first found out my boyfriend was a sexual addict. Thank God we found out 1 and one half year into our relationship. This book was helpful to me because it showed the exact nature of the addiction. Things that I saw in him and myself.
THE CODEPENDENCY part of it for me was astounding because I had never thought of myself in that way. Then I was able to start counseling for myself and give over to GOD the entire situation (with him in his own counseling of course)without the codependent curse of 'trying to fix' his problem and making his problem the source of my depression and frustration.

So now I can refer to other literature on Codepence and help myself. This book is great for someone just finding out about the sex addiction. I couldnt give it 5 stars because it doesn't really tell you how you can actively move on and progress without sinking into deep depression.

I am thankful that I am finding out about myself now and my needs so that if I choose to remain with my boyfriend I know that I will be ok no matter what happens with him, or if i move onto a new relationship, hwatever attrated me to a sex addict or an addictive personality in the first place will not affect me again

This book was pretty good, however, I finished reading it with a sense of that the story was left unfinished. The author provides many women's stories of how pornography effected their marriages and relationships but really doesn't do much in terms of offering suggestions on how to help your husband through the addiction and how to continue living for Christ during this trying time. Good book of truth-telling experiences, but bad when one is looking for actual help.

This book was one of the few I had found that address sexual addiction from the woman's point of view. It addresses the discovery of the addiction and how to get help for yourself and for the addict. There are a lot of references in the directory and there is also a chapter on how to begin group therapy for the woman. Great book-very enlightening!