Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (Hardcover)

by John T. Cacioppo (Author), William Patrick (Author)
Key Phrases: misfortune control, indissociable organism, lonely participants, United States, Loneliness Scale, Ohio State (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Eleanor Rigby might have been in worse shape than the Beatles imagined: not only lonely but angry, depressed and in ill health. University of Chicago research psychologist Cacioppo shows in studies that loneliness can be harmful to our overall well-being. Loneliness, he says, impairs the ability to feel trust and affection, and people who lack emotional intimacy are less able to exercise good judgment in socially ambiguous situations; this makes them more vulnerable to bullying as children and exploitation by unscrupulous salespeople in old age. But Cacioppo and Patrick (editor of the Journal of Life Sciences) want primarily to apply evolutionary psychology to explain how our brains have become hard-wired to have regular contact with others to aid survival. So intense is the need to connect, say the authors, that isolated individuals sometimes form parasocial relations with pets or TV characters. The authors' advice for dealing with loneliness—psychotherapy, positive thinking, random acts of kindness—are overly general, but this isn't a self-help book. It does present a solid scientific look at the physical and emotional impact of loneliness. 12 illus. (Aug. 25)
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Review
A magnificent exposé. (Frans de Waal )

Superb. (Library Journal )

Wise, beautifully written, and often funny . . . a tour-de-force. (Shelley E. Taylor, professor of psychology, University of California, Los Angeles ) --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: W.W. Norton & Co. (August 17, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393061701
• ISBN-13: 978-0393061703
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #110,193 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Shedding light on the pain that is loneliness..., August 18, 2008

By	K. Freberg - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

From http://www.laurafreberg.com/blog

I just finished reading Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, which is coming out towards the end of August. The book summarizes, in very accessible terms, thirty years of work by John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago and his colleagues.

It's initially hard to get past the title. William Patrick, John's coauthor, relates how a friend reading an early manuscript found the word "loneliness" to be disturbing, even more so than "rape," "murder," or "death." This reaction fits perfectly with the major theme of the book-we humans are a very social bunch, and being cut off from other people, as in solitary confinement, might be the very worst punishment of all.
What I especially liked about the book is the constant, seamless integration of what we call "perspectives" in psychology, harkening back to William James. In other words, the neuroscience, social psychology, and cognitive science is all woven together so that you get the big picture. In other writing, John has compared psychology to a symphony, with the different perspectives contributing to the whole of our understanding just as the score, musicians, instruments, and conductor join together to produce fantastic music. He and William have definitely succeeded in bringing this integration to the study of loneliness. Given the all-too-frequent Balkanization of psychology into little subdomains, this approach is refreshing and informative.

Like William's friend, I found myself feeling sad at times while reading the book. I don't consider myself a lonely person, as I am blessed by having a close family and good friends. But I know a lot of lonely people, and reading the various case studies brought these people to mind in a vivid way. The sad mood lifted, however, when John would throw in some of his modest and self-deprecating humor, as in his description of his trip to "Grenada." Enough said. You need to read the book to find out the rest.

In spite of the sober topic, I think many people will jump at the chance to learn more from this book. My mother-in-law, over at our house for lunch, snatched up my copy and asked to borrow it. My daughters are pre-ordering theirs on Amazon. Kristin has mentioned that loneliness is such a huge issue for her soldiers, not only while they deploy, but even more so when they return to families who can't begin to relate to the things they've seen and done in combat. She's hoping that John will take a look at the vulnerability of soldiers to PTSD as a function of their initial loneliness scores, following up on research listed on the Loneliness site.

Best of all, the authors do not stop after describing the origins and implications of loneliness. Instead, there is a careful, thoughtful, step-by-step approach to reducing one's own loneliness. Following the recommended steps is never presented as a magic bullet, or a quick fix, but just a practical way, grounded in good science, to move from point A to point B. No matter how lonely or not lonely you feel, there are suggestions here to make the social aspects of life more meaningful.
Finally, I'd like to end by pointing out that these authors really do practice what they preach. The website for Loneliness has a menu feature called "socialize." In one of the blog entries, William Patrick describes how John insisted that he should be a "full co-author," instead of receiving his usual credits.

For those of you on Facebook, hope you join the Science of Loneliness group. There's something inherently ironic about that statement, but I hope to see you there soon. --Laura Freberg

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific Synthesis, October 9, 2008

By	JOHN J. MCGRAW "author of Brain & Belief" (Solana Beach, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is an excellent work that ties together research from neuroscience, evolutionary psychology, social psychology, and endocrinology. The book presents all of this wonderful science in a way that is accessible to anyone with an interest in the impact of relationships on our well-being.

Cacioppo and Patrick should be commended for providing a model of the way in which science can be true to itself but also made popular for the benefit of the reading public. These authors are able to share some of the more significant insights that come from work in multiple fields in clear prose, light on academic jargon.

The book reads like a synthesis of 15 or so really good articles from Scientific American but are conveyed with a single vision and in an affable voice. Loneliness is a pleasant and interesting read that clearly demonstrates a key truth: we are not alone. The idea of the rugged individual is an absurd myth that has little basis in reality. As Aristotle noted long ago, we are essentially social creatures. We are born from interaction, develop through communal care, and are instinctively driven to gain the esteem of our companions. The pursuit of happiness and well-being must be a joint venture.

The ideas that Cacioppo and Patrick put forward about co-regulation and social dynamics help to break down the individualistic unit of analysis that has plagued a great deal of psychological research and philosophical inquiry. Moreover, this critique of the individualistic bias in scientific research goes a long way towards becoming a more general critique of modern society. The loss of many traditional forms of interrelatedness may be at the source of the malaise and health concerns that pester us all.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Solid science, October 25, 2008

By	Knowledgeable Reader - See all my reviews

This review is from: Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (Audio CD)

Not an easy read, but worthwhile. Comprehensive use of evolutionary psychology and neuroscience to explain a lot of what causes psychic pain, as well as attraction and aversion in social settings. Demonstrates that loneliness may well be a more accurate and useful diagnosis than depression or anxiety. Well documented sources. Not an easy-to-read self-help book, but worth the effort because of the understanding that can result.