Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection [Paperback]

John T. Cacioppo (Author), William Patrick (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 10, 2009

“One of the most important books about the human condition to appear in a decade.”—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

University of Chicago social neuroscientist John T. Cacioppo unveils his pioneering research on the startling effects of loneliness: a sense of isolation or social rejection disrupts not only our thinking abilities and will power but also our immune systems, and can be as damaging as obesity or smoking. A blend of biological and social science, this book demonstrates that, as individuals and as a society, we have everything to gain, and everything to lose, in how well or how poorly we manage our need for social bonds.

12 illustrations

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Eleanor Rigby might have been in worse shape than the Beatles imagined: not only lonely but angry, depressed and in ill health. University of Chicago research psychologist Cacioppo shows in studies that loneliness can be harmful to our overall well-being. Loneliness, he says, impairs the ability to feel trust and affection, and people who lack emotional intimacy are less able to exercise good judgment in socially ambiguous situations; this makes them more vulnerable to bullying as children and exploitation by unscrupulous salespeople in old age. But Cacioppo and Patrick (editor of the Journal of Life Sciences) want primarily to apply evolutionary psychology to explain how our brains have become hard-wired to have regular contact with others to aid survival. So intense is the need to connect, say the authors, that isolated individuals sometimes form parasocial relations with pets or TV characters. The authors' advice for dealing with loneliness—psychotherapy, positive thinking, random acts of kindness—are overly general, but this isn't a self-help book. It does present a solid scientific look at the physical and emotional impact of loneliness. 12 illus. (Aug. 25)
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Review

“Superb.” (Library Journal )

“A magnificent exposé.” (Frans de Waal )

“Wise, beautifully written, and often funny . . . a tour-de-force.” (Shelley E. Taylor, professor of psychology, University of California, Los Angeles )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; Reprint edition (August 10, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393335283
• ISBN-13: 978-0393335286
• Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #35,589 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Cacioppo is the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor of Psychology, Director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, and Past-Director of the Arete Initiative of the Office of the Vice President for Research and National Laboratories at The University of Chicago. He is a pioneer in the field of social neuroscience and an expert in social isolation, emotional contagion, and social behavior. Dr. Cacioppo completed his PhD at Ohio State University and served on the faculty at the University of Notre Dame (1977-1979), University of Iowa (1979-1989), Ohio State University (1989-1999), and University of Chicago (1999-present). He also served as the Bijzonder Hoogleraar Sociale Neurowetenschappen (External Professor Chair in Social Neurosciences) Free University Amsterdam (2003-2007), and a Guest Professor at State Key Laboratory of Cognitive Neuroscience and Learning, Beijing Normal University (2008-2010). He is a Past-President of the Association for Psychological Science (2007-2008), the Society for Psychophysiological Research (1992-1993), the Society for Consumer Psychology (1989-1990), the Society of Personality and Social Psychology (1995), and he is currently the Chair-Elect of the Psychology Section of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. He is a recipient of the National Academy of Sciences Troland Research Award (1989), the Society for Psychophysiological Research Distinguished Scientific Award for an Early Career Contribution (1981) and their Award for Distinguished Scientific Contributions to Psychophysiology (2000), the Society for Personality and Social Psychology Donald Campbell Award for Distinguished Scientific Contributions (2000), the American Psychosomatic Society Patricia R. Barchas Award (2004), the Psi Chi Distinguished Member Award (2006), the American Psychological Association Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award (2002), an honorary doctorate from Bard College (2004), the Society for Personality and Social Psychology Theoretical Innovation Prize (2008), the Society of Personality and Social Psychology Award in Service to the Discipline (2008), and the American Psychological Association's Presidential Citation (2008). He has also served on various boards including the Department of HHS National Advisory Council on Aging; the External Advisory Committee of the Beckman Institute for Advanced Science and Technology at the University of Illinois; and the National Research Council Board on Behavioral, Cognitive and Sensory Sciences (2010-present); and he Chairs the International Advisory Board of the Cluster of Excellence at Freie Universität Berlin (2008-present). He has published more than 400 papers and 17 books, is listed among "ISI Highly Cited Researchers" in Psychiatry/Psychology (since 2003), and is a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (1990), Society of Experimental Psychologists, Association for Psychological Science (1989), American Psychological Association (1984), International Organization of Psychophysiology (1987), Society for Personality and Social Psychology (1984), Society of Behavioral Medicine (1998), Academy of Behavioral Medicine (1986), and American Academy of Arts and Sciences (2003).

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

92 of 98 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Shedding light on the pain that is loneliness... August 18, 2008

By K. Freberg

Format:Hardcover

From [...]

I just finished reading Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, which is coming out towards the end of August. The book summarizes, in very accessible terms, thirty years of work by John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago and his colleagues.

It's initially hard to get past the title. William Patrick, John's coauthor, relates how a friend reading an early manuscript found the word "loneliness" to be disturbing, even more so than "rape," "murder," or "death." This reaction fits perfectly with the major theme of the book-we humans are a very social bunch, and being cut off from other people, as in solitary confinement, might be the very worst punishment of all.
What I especially liked about the book is the constant, seamless integration of what we call "perspectives" in psychology, harkening back to William James. In other words, the neuroscience, social psychology, and cognitive science is all woven together so that you get the big picture. In other writing, John has compared psychology to a symphony, with the different perspectives contributing to the whole of our understanding just as the score, musicians, instruments, and conductor join together to produce fantastic music. He and William have definitely succeeded in bringing this integration to the study of loneliness. Given the all-too-frequent Balkanization of psychology into little subdomains, this approach is refreshing and informative.

Like William's friend, I found myself feeling sad at times while reading the book. I don't consider myself a lonely person, as I am blessed by having a close family and good friends. But I know a lot of lonely people, and reading the various case studies brought these people to mind in a vivid way.... The sad mood lifted, however, when John would throw in some of his modest and self-deprecating humor, as in his description of his trip to "Grenada." Enough said. You need to read the book to find out the rest.

In spite of the sober topic, I think many people will jump at the chance to learn more from this book. My mother-in-law, over at our house for lunch, snatched up my copy and asked to borrow it. My daughters are pre-ordering theirs on Amazon. Kristin has mentioned that loneliness is such a huge issue for her soldiers, not only while they deploy, but even more so when they return to families who can't begin to relate to the things they've seen and done in combat. She's hoping that John will take a look at the vulnerability of soldiers to PTSD as a function of their initial loneliness scores, following up on research listed on the Loneliness site.

Best of all, the authors do not stop after describing the origins and implications of loneliness. Instead, there is a careful, thoughtful, step-by-step approach to reducing one's own loneliness. Following the recommended steps is never presented as a magic bullet, or a quick fix, but just a practical way, grounded in good science, to move from point A to point B. No matter how lonely or not lonely you feel, there are suggestions here to make the social aspects of life more meaningful.
Finally, I'd like to end by pointing out that these authors really do practice what they preach. The website for Loneliness has a menu feature called "socialize." In one of the blog entries, William Patrick describes how John insisted that he should be a "full co-author," instead of receiving his usual credits.

For those of you on Facebook, hope you join the Science of Loneliness group. There's something inherently ironic about that statement, but I hope to see you there soon. --Laura Freberg

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection Read more ›

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Extemely interesting but don't trust the blurbs January 13, 2009

By Andréas

Format:Hardcover

The best part of this book are the scientific insights about how loneliness works and how it damages people. I learned many things I had never heard of.

I found it easy to read and well-written. It is interesting throughout, although sometimes it strayed far enough from the topic to leave me wondering how it got there. I must admit I didn't read it in one go and sometimes stopped in the middle of a chapter.

One of the blurbs claimed the book was funny. The only thing I found funny is when it compares lonely people, who find it harder to control themselves, to Phineas Gage, a worker who had a metal rod rammed through his brain. There is a nice drawing showing where exactly the rod went through. This is an exceptional feat of black humor, but I'm not sure it's intentional.

Another blurb, by no less than Mihaly Csiksentmihalyi (I love his book 'Finding flow'), claims that after reading the book you will never have to be lonely again. The book does make some attempts at giving advice, but never sounds very convincing. The authors are researchers who excel at understanding how loneliness affects people, but they don't seem to have much experience in helping them. They don't sound like they ever had this problem either.

The end of the book addresses the growing loneliness in the United States, and mentions some ways society has found to cope: mega-churches, virtual communities like Second Life, the corny fad of 'random acts of kindness'. Oh the horror. I've been through times when loneliness was almost unbearable, but I'm not sure I've ever been that hopeless.

I will definitely read that book again.

21 of 24 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Solid science October 25, 2008

By Knowledgeable Reader

Format:Audio CD|Amazon Verified Purchase

Not an easy read, but worthwhile. Comprehensive use of evolutionary psychology and neuroscience to explain a lot of what causes psychic pain, as well as attraction and aversion in social settings. Demonstrates that loneliness may well be a more accurate and useful diagnosis than depression or anxiety. Well documented sources. Not an easy-to-read self-help book, but worth the effort because of the understanding that can result.

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting research and disorganized writing January 23, 2010

By hapathy

Format:Paperback

There is some interesting novel research in this book (some of which you can read about online by searching for the main author "John Cacioppo"). Without a doubt John Cacioppo has done some extremely interesting work.

This book describes studies that hint at loneliness reducing our ability to tune out distractions, reducing our ability to complete "logical reasoning tasks", and reducing our ability to pursue long term rewards rather than immediate gratification. It is fascinating. I also found the descriptions of the physical effects of loneliness on health to be extremely interesting (increased morning cortisol and adrenaline etc.).

So if the research was what I was rating, I'd give it 5 stars. But unfortunately, I am reviewing the book and must give it 3 stars. Because, although not difficult in terms of content, this book is very poorly written. It goes off on useless tangents only marginally related to loneliness. I would be happy to read about chimp and bonobo society, in this particular book, if the authors actually related it in any way to the topic at hand which is loneliness. But the astounding thing is: they don't! They just drop one line in about loneliness in that chapter and think that is relating it! And half the book is like that, going off on one irrelevant tangent after another.

I think perhaps a coherent connection between all these different topics may exist in the author(s) head(s) but that they don't do a good job of drawing that connection out for us, and so we just end up with a bunch of scatter-shot irrelevancies. I wonder if, ironically, the incoherence of this book is caused by it's dual authorship.... If so I don't think it in any way refutes the main point of this book which is that people function better when socially well integrated and socially content. But it does serve as an example of where two heads are not better than one!

This is a popular science book and not a self-help book, and so it is light on advice on what to do about loneliness. I both very much respect the scientific orientation of this book (when it stays on topic) and I wish it gave more advice. I guess I wish this book filled a few more of the pages it wasted on unrelated tangents with advice on what to actually do about loneliness. The advice it does give, while supposedly based on the science in this book, is again only marginally connected to it by the author(s), and so is in my opinion, at best mediocre. I think there is a lot of wasted potential there.

So in summary: the studies in this book may be a diamond, heck they may be the Hope diamond. They really are novel and startling to me. But they are lying in the landfill called this book. Is it my executive control or is this book disorganized? I think the correct answer is: this book is disorganized! Read more ›