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Lonely: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Emily White
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 9, 2010

This boldly honest and elegantly written memoir reveals the painful and sometimes debilitating experience of living with chronic loneliness—the first book of its kind devoted exclusively to the subject.

Despite having a demanding job, good friends, and a supportive family, Emily White spent many of her evenings and weekends alone at home, trying to understand why she felt so disconnected from everyone. To keep up the faÇade of an active social life and to hide the painful truth, the successful young lawyer often lied to those around her—and to herself. She was suffering from severe loneliness.

In this insightful, soul-baring, and illuminating memoir, White reveals her battle to understand and overcome this crippling condition, and contends that chronic loneliness deserves the same attention as other mental difficulties such as depression. "Right now, loneliness is something few people are willing to admit to," she writes. "There's no need for this silence, no need for the shame and self-blame it creates. There's nothing wrong with loneliness, and we need to start acknowledging this through a wider and more open discussion of the state."

Interweaving her personal story with the latest in cutting-edge scientific research—as well as the incredibly moving accounts offered by numerous lonely men and women—White provides a deep and thorough portrait of this increasingly common but too often ignored affliction. By investigating the science of loneliness, challenging its stigma, encouraging other lonely people to talk about their experiences, and setting out one person's struggle, Lonely redefines how we look at loneliness and helps those who are afflicted understand their mood in an entirely new light, ultimately providing solace and hope.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


Editorial Reviews

Review

“Kudos to Emily White for having written that rare book which feels both necessary and evolutionary. Lonely is a masterwork on the topic, a memoir of deep insight and revelation.” (Alice Sebold )

“[A] sophisticated inquiry...The power of White’s story comes from the sweeping investment she has made in tracking and tackling her loneliness. White makes the case that loneliness deserves attention and respect as a legitimate condition.” (Kirkus Reviews )

“[A]n impassioned call to arms on behalf of a condition no one wants to talk about.” (Jezebel.com )

About the Author

Emily White is a former lawyer who now works as a writer and policy analyst. Her work on loneliness has appeared in the Guardian, the Huffington Post, ELLE (UK), the New York Post, and the Daily Mail. She lives in St. John's, Newfoundland.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Harper; First Edition first Printing edition (March 9, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0061765090
  • ISBN-13: 978-0061765094
  • Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 1.2 x 8.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #560,723 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended! April 3, 2010
By Teacher
Format:Hardcover
If you are looking for tips on how to make friends, then look elsewhere. This is a well-written, well-researched, very interesting book which leaves you with a lot to consider. I've never read a book that so clearly addresses my feelings. Most books on loneliness assume that you are a social misfit and that you can turn your life around if you just smile, dress better, and "get out there" more. If this type of glib response to loneliness makes you cringe, then Emily White's book is for you. This is a serious but highly-readable book on why some people struggle to make connections.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the few... March 14, 2010
Format:Hardcover
The author of this book mentions repeatedly that there are very few books written about loneliness. I work in the book biz, and she is correct about this.

Her work covers the subject thoroughly. She writes about all the varieties of loneliness: situational, emotional, chronic, etc. I think she does a great job at sensitively investigating the subject from all angles. By including her own experiences with severe loneliness, she personalizes the manner, which I think is important with this subject.

Chapter 7, "The Cohort Effect," about the prevalence of loneliness today, was incredibly well-written and worth the price of the book alone.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting and reassuring February 6, 2011
Format:Hardcover
I went through a period of extreme loneliness several years ago and I went through all of the stages that Emily writes about in this book. It was very helpful to know that what I went through and how I dealt with it was totally normal.

I've been through depression and loneliness and but not always at the same time. They are two distinctly different experiences. Of course you can experience them together but they can also be independent of one another. I liked seeing that acknowledged in this book because when I did mention feeling lonely I was told I was just depressed but that wasn't the case.

If you're looking for a straight memoir, this is not the book for you because she mixes her personal experiences with research. If you're interested in both a memoir and in what the research on loneliness has to say then this IS the book for you. I enjoyed the combination of research and personal information about her life. I could relate to a lot of what she went through.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Good but needs more
I read this book in its entirety over a couple of days. I could easily identify with Ms. White's plight of being lonely. Read more
Published 26 days ago by Vautour
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely worth reading
I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked up this book. I'm so glad I read it. It is intelligently written, doesn't contain the psychobabble or New Age talk I dislike in... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kris
3.0 out of 5 stars Pluses and Minuses
There were a number of things to like about this book, but unfortunately, it ended up being unsatisfying overall. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Sonjastwin
2.0 out of 5 stars Incomplete
I must say that Emily White's book "Lonely" was interesting, wordy, and quite busy. However, it was shockingly disappointing in that Ms. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Sandy
1.0 out of 5 stars Desperately needs an edit
The only principle of organization is that, being a memoir it moves forward in time, from recollections of childhood to the present. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Deborah S. Hall
3.0 out of 5 stars NOT what one would consider a memoir
Much of the content of this book would not be considered memoir content- there is much more recitation of behavioral studies and statistics on loneliness and other lonely persons'... Read more
Published 14 months ago by margieebee
2.0 out of 5 stars Important subject, but way too long and repetitive
I appreciate this book was written to address a subject that is too often ignored or dismissed. However, the author seemed to repeat herself throughout the book--the valid points... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Cynthia S. Lyman
5.0 out of 5 stars Giving Definition to Loneliness, a Condition
Emily White, an expert on loneliness, shows us the dimensions of this malady and the obstacles to treatment caused by ignorance and disinterest. Read more
Published on March 30, 2011 by Story Circle Book Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource
Loneliness is a topic that goes unmentioned not only verbally, but in print as well. You can't go to the bookstore and find a section on "loneliness". Read more
Published on September 10, 2010 by Patti Chadwick
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
I was extremely disappointed by this book. I think that it is possible the book could have been good if it had edited properly, and if the editors pushed Emily to actually address... Read more
Published on September 5, 2010 by Julianne Thomas
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