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Lonely All The Time: Recognizing, Understanding, and Overcoming Sex Addiction, for Addicts and Co-dependents Paperback – September 1, 1998

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Amid the spate of recent books on sex addiction, this excellent, jargon-free volume stands out for its clarity and comprehensiveness. The authors--clinical psychologists and family therapists in Scottsdale, Ariz.--show that obsessive sexual compulsions can take many forms: empty affairs, frequent visits to prostitutes, phone sex, child molesting, etc. Through the euphoric high of sex, the sex addict may gain proof of adequacy, a sense of control or temporary relief from feelings of worthlessness. Co-dependents--spouses or partners "addicted to the addict"--frequently end up resembling the sex-obsessed person, crippled by denial and an inability to express emotion. Children of sex addicts adopt well-rehearsed roles that stand in for authentic identities. Besides illustrating these dynamics through case histories, this self-help guide features a "Family History Questionnaire," tips for recovering sex addicts and guidelines on choosing a support group or therapist.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Ralph Earle, Ph.D., is president of Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd., and is an affiliate of Scottsdale Memorial and Scottsdale Samaritan Behavioral Health Centers in Arizona. He served in 1989 and 1990 as president of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. He is also a certified sex educator and therapist for the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and a diplomate in Family Psychology-The American Board of Professional Psychology. Dr. Earle has written 4 other books.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 337 pages
  • Publisher: Bradt Travel Guides (September 1, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0965287912
  • ISBN-13: 978-0965287913
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.7 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #925,535 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 10, 2004
Format: Paperback
I bought this book because I'm writing a book on relationships. At one time I was a counselor for alcohol and drug addicts, and there are many books on addiction but they sugar coat the problems. This book just tells it like it is. The book clarified the problems with being addicted. The thoughts in the book apply to any addiction. The destruction to the family and friends applies to any addiction.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Jane Doe on August 18, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've read about 20 books on this topic in the last year and WHEN IT COMES TO THE FAMILY... co-addict and addict dealing with each other, I recommend this book (*gasp*) even more than the oft recommended OUT OF THE SHADOWS by Patrick Carnes. This book is meaty, an easy read, demonstrates very well the process of both addiction and co-addiction in a family system & how they interact. It's rare for sex addiction books to include such amazingly good quantity on the co-addict/ child of addict side. If you want JUST ONE book to address ALL sides of the coin in a NON-CLINICAL format this book is an EXCELLENT choice for addicts, co-addicts, and children raised in families of a sex addict. I also recommend it to anyone who thinks the addict is the only one who needs help/ who has a problem.

If you find sexual acting out behaviors disturbing, know that chapter 2 (easy to skip or rip out; it's all in 1 place) is the only place it's addressed with potentially distressing detail.

Intro: How This Book Can Help You. Addicted to sex?, How much is too much?, What's in a name?, Parallels between sex addiction & other addictions, This book can help, Transforming yourself.

SECTION 1: WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION? (pgs. 1-127)

Ch. 1: Out of Control: The Nature of Sex Addiction. What is sex addiction?
Read more ›
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Audrey L. Ricker on January 18, 2010
Format: Paperback
As a psychotherapist and author of the book, THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL: THE ENABLING MOTHER, INCEST AND SEXUAL ASSAULT, I found so many of my questions about the non-perpetrating family members of incest survivors answered in this book. I am glad it was written because it is so thorough and comprehensive. I will recommend it to many colleagues and clients.
Audrey Ricker, CRC, LPC
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Scott M on June 18, 2012
Format: Paperback
I don't understand why this book went out of print. I'm amazed that being 1989 - they know and cover so much about 'sex' addiction so well. I disagree with many of the black & White statements that ALL 'sex' addicts are this - or do this and not that - it's not true, and this approach lasts at least the 1st half of the book. The authors Do go in-depth as to some of the roots in childhood of this disease. - But! - They COMPLETELY MISS the components of underlying LOVE ADDCITION - that drives ALL 'sex' addicts. - That relentless drive to be 'loved' and 'accpeted' by others. They talk a bit about Patrick Carnes, they mention some of the associated 12-step programs - including Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. They suggest (as do I) that the 12-steps would be helpful for everyone to do. It also goes into codependency, co-addicts/partners - great for people who attend Co-Slaa too.
Towards the end - it goes on about how to deal with your kids - if you are a recoverying addict (as if Everyone has kids). It also assumes everyone has a family. NOTHING about those addicts who are single.
People keep talking about Patrick Carnes book 'Out of the Shadows' - but Carnes wrote a better book, "Don't call it Love" - much better and usually unheard of. Carnes also wrote, "The Betrayal Bond" - which goes in-depth about how childhood issues leads to becoming a 'sex' (aka Love addict) - and how as an adult 'sex' addicts perpetuate this abuse (emotionally & psychologically) on themselves. Other books I recommend are Pia Mellody's "Facing Love Addiction" and Susan Forward's "Obsessive Love".
Even though they completely MISSED the core of LOVE Addiciton - I give this book a 4.5 stars - a must read. Sincerely, Scott M.
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