Customer Reviews

The Lonely Patient: How We Experience Illness

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

A Crohn's patient since 1973 and a chronic pain patient since 2004, I was drawn to this title. I also buy the nonfiction books for a medium-sized library. This book would be of enormous value to all patients and physicians - should be required reading in medical school, certainly by pain specialists.

For chronic pain/illness sufferers, buy your own copy so that you can underline sentences or paragraphs that you would like your family/caregivers/friends to read.

It was of untold value to me to know that my loneliness (even though I have a family) was intimately understood by one person out there.

Thank you, Dr. Stein.

Dr. Stein's book fills a gap in caregivers knowledge base. His descriptions of the emotional impact of serious illness have never been addressed so clearly. As an RN with a 25 year career and as a patient whose life has been redirected by chronic illness, I fully appreciate Stein's careful mapping of illness's effects on the patient.

I wonder if the negative reviews that preceded this one came from people who read the same book that I did. As one who is well-acquainted with chronic illness (Crohn's disease for 34 years, pulmonary fibrosis and Sjogren's syndrome for 20 years, fractured skull, chronic spinal problems) I think that Michael Stein has done an admirable job of naming the fear and isolation that are emotional hallmarks of the experience of serious illness. His writing is excellent, and his perceptions are empathic and insightful. I can, without reservation, recommend The Lonely Patient to anyone who is newly diagnosed or to those who want to understand the chilling, progressively dehumanizing effects of coping with a chronic, life-threatening illness.

Michael Stern, M.D. has succeeded in writing a brief book that captures the isolation of someone who has been diagnosed with a serious, life threatening or terminal illness. Even more importantly, anyone who has symptoms for which there seems to be no diagnosis or relief needs to read "The Lonely Patient".

It should be handed out by hospital social workers to those involved in caregiving for those afflicted. The book should also be required reading in medical schools.

Dr. Stern interweaves the story of his brother-in-law stricken with a rare cancer of the sinuses with case studies of his own patients. He astutely divides his book into four parts: Betrayal, Terror, Loss and Loneliness and illustrates the doctor-patient relationship in a most enlightening manner.

This is a must read in the tradition of Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland's excellent book "How We Die Reflections on Life's Final Chapter".

The Lonely Patient is a warm, deeply empathetic look at what one doctor observed about illness and human nature when he started looking at patients as full human beings experiencing the range of emotion that comes with disease and illness.

Stein thought he had a good idea of what illness was like through his practice. Then his brother-in-law Richard was diagnosed with cancer. Watching Richard helped Stein make some keen observations on what illness is truly like for a patient. He also includes the stories of some of his patients that illustrate certain experiences particularly well.

He sums up the overwhelming, consuming emotions experienced by the patient (jealousy, defiance, fear, anger, shame, dependency, vulnerability and loneliness) by setting out the book in four parts: Betrayal, Terror, Loss and Loneliness.

I really can't recommend this book highly enough. Never before have I had the experience of feeling understood and acknowledged for the wide range of emotions I have experienced as a sick person. Not only is this a must read for patients, it is the perfect way to help your family and friends understand what you are going through.

Dr. Michael Stein writes with depth and clarity about the difficult emotional and psychological dimensions of serious illness. He tells the stories of his patients - Joanna, Luke, Richard, Leila, Charlie - and we come to know them not so much by name as by the pain and emotional repercussions of the illness they are experiencing. Stein takes us on a journey that is not so much about medical diagnoses and treatment as it is about the inner world of these patients who have serious and debilitating diseases. He uses their experiences to explore a world of deep and sometimes hidden feelings beneath the physical pain - feelings of betrayal, terror, loss, and loneliness. It can be a bleak and fear-filled terrain, but Stein is also able to capture the humor, tenderness, and hope that is present as he journeys with his patients.

He begins and ends the book with the story of his brother-in-law, Richard, an artist, who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Richard's story becomes a way for Stein to tell of his own evolution from a bright, young physician who early in his career "perhaps concentrated too much on how people became ill...and (could) be "fixed," without trying to imagine what it's like to be ill." Now, some 20 years later, Stein reveals how much Richard and his patients have changed his understanding of this "interior world of illness" and pain. He paints wonderfully vivid word-pictures of his patients' lives, the fears and frustrations they face: Joanna can't walk through the grocery store without searing pain in her feet; Leila can't dress like a teenager anymore because of her disfiguring scar; Luke's fear of surgery keeps him withdrawn and fearful. Dr. Stein describes how their illness keeps them feeling separated and isolated from our everyday world which places so much value on good health, independence, and control of one's mental and physical well-being.

Stein writes thoughtfully and eloquently about illness and its effects on a person's life, but at times he makes such sweeping generalizations that he does not take into account the deeply individual and personal responses that serious illness evokes. Nor does he touch on some of the very important spiritual concerns and questions that can arise for a patient: is God punishing me? Has God abandoned me? Are there miracles? Does prayer help? He does not mention the possibility that illness can also bring about a sense of calm, a deepening faith and trust in the presence of God or a higher power.

Stein is most successful as he reminds us of the importance of being present, of listening, of acknowledging another's pain. In his own journey as a physician, he has come to understand that "sometimes the best I can do for a patient is to ask, "What is it like?" and to wait for the response. Stein has learned not to back away from another's fear, anger, or sense of brokenness. He works to establish a level of trust that allows the patients to tell their stories and know that they will be heard, for "when a patient tells a doctor about himself, it is the beginning of escaping loneliness and shortening the distance he's moved into the chamber of illness."

This is a wonderfully readable book for anyone who has been a patient or has provided care for them. Stein's clear interest in his patients, his strong story-telling skills, and his willingness to share his own personal and professional journey add up to a book that deepens any reader's understanding of serious, life-changing illness.

This is a must-read for doctors, medical students, caregivers, people living with pain/disease, and people who know someone living with pain/disease.

Having lived with varying degrees of pain daily for the past fifteen years or so, I found this book to be an accurate representation of what living with pain is like. Michael Stein, in his research and interviews, has been able to capture in words the experience of pain - from both the insider's and outsider's points of view. Although sometimes repetitive, Stein's stories illustrate the multifaceted world of pain and disease, and the lonliness associated with it.

I am a busy single mother, employee and university student. I only have time for a short review but it is worth my while. I have never been ill. I am 49 and I live life as any one healthy 20 year old. Being in this condition of health could make me insensitive to individuals suffering the burden of illness.I am working on my master's thesis and have to interview 20-25 individuals confronting chronic illness/disability. This book has increased my awareness of the multiple sufferings a person confronting/living with illness goes through. Reading this book has giving me a greater insight regarding The Lonely Patient. I am now an improved interviewer. Thanks Dr. Stein. (I do not have time to edit this note; I hope it makes sense.)

I am not a member of the medical communnity, although this book was recommended to me by one. I do have a family member living with chronic pain. I expected The Lonely Patient to be a practical update of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's text On Death and Dying as applied to the loss of vitality and health of people living with chronic pain. Hopefully it would include some practical advice on better understanding and relating to those with chronic pain. At best it would help guide understanding of the stages a patient undergoes in these circumstances, methods of placing them in a stage and strategies for making the most of the situation at these different times.

Instead much of it was filled with case study type information about patients and profiles of both unsympathetic and empathetic care givers. The advice was largely for the members of the medical community with a little bit for the patient, (mostly around finding a caring physician.) The clear purpose of the book is to inspire medical professionals to better serve patients with chronic pain. In this, I can only assume it does an admirable job.

For the layman, it is a difficult read. The subject itself is unappealing and little can be done to change that. Undoubtedly well researched and factual, if not the doctor or the patient there is little guidance to be gained by reading it. That said, I would hope this book was compulsory reading for every doctor we encounter.

This book is seriously depressing. It takes three or four themes and discusses each theme with regard to a particular patient, lasting way too long without learning anything new. It does not help you navigate the maze of chronic illness, as one book review claims.