Customer Reviews: Long Shot: A Remnant of the Commonwealth, Book One
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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars32
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on March 21, 2013
Overall, the storyline in this book is good. It has tons of potential, but needs tons of polishing in order to rate a 4 or 5-star rating. I like the concept of the storyline; it's not your typical retired-military-fighting-the-establishment that you tend to find in sci-fi.

But why does this book only rate as a 3-star for me? Well, for starters, there's little to no character development or backstory. The characters are entirely two-dimensional. The main character, the leader of this motly group of former military folks, is crafted like a whiny, petulant, and always irritated teenager. For that matter, pretty much everyone is this way--always getting mad, always irritated and, bluntly, bitchy. This leader, always getting mad at his "friends" is not a leader. A true leader realizes that mistakes happen, people won't always agree or do what he or she believes they should do. Real leaders acknowledge this and plan and/or adapt and overcome these issues. This leader in this story? Nope. At one point in the story, the leader, as the author tells it, realizes he has to learn to follow orders whether or not he likes it. Um hello? He's former military, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, who's ever served in the military, be they the lowliest private or a 4-star (in rare instances 5-star) generals, have been subordinate to someone higher in rank themselves and have followed orders. It's as if, according to the author, this is an entirely new concept to this leader.

As for the military style tactics, the author obviously doesn't know one iota about tactics nor has he done any research on them. When the characters invade the home of a rival crime lord, the first guy in clears the room and then anchors the end of the rope so the others can rope into the room. Not bad so far. But the next person in, the second-in-command, gets in the room and clears the room again according to the author "...she raised the infrared scope of her rifle and began scanning the room. Russel would have already done this, but it couldn't hurt to do it again." Let's think about this...if the room had been occupied, Russel would have had to taken them out, causing at least SOME noise and then he'd have reported the contact immediately. Not only that, but after he'd cleared the room, he'd have reported the room as "clear" over their tacnet radios. And even in the instance where someone caught him unaware as he was holding the rope, would he sit there and NOT report that or give some indication, such as releasing the rope or whatnot, to inform his fellows, all the while letting the guards keep their guns on him? No. Any believable scenario would have him alerting his friends, firing on the guards or the guards raising an alarm. The book is rife with tactical inaccuracies.

As far as the abilities of this group goes, the leader, Aaron, is originally told his ability is being an empath. The author does not know what an empath is because nowhere in the story does he use any ability associated with being empathetic. Instead, the author adds in that he has the entire human knowledge base downloaded into his head. THAT'S his ability, and that's not being an empath.

Like virtually all self-published books, this one had it's share of grammatical and spelling errors. Not too bad, but definitely noticeable. This series has definite potential if the author spends some time fine-tuning the storyline and working on character development. Will I buy the next book in the series? Maybe. Would I recommend it? Probably not, unless the person doesn't mind a perpetually bitchy cast of characters and terrible military description and tactics.
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on March 23, 2013
This author is unfamiliar with some basic Sci-Fi terms. For some reason he uses the word "cyborg" to describe the characters. Cyborg typically means a combination of orgainic and synthetic parts. Star Trek's the Borg with man/machine combined would be a good example. Instead the characters have what would be considered paranormal abilities i.e. mind reading, telekinetics, etc.

I also agree with another reviewer that the author was unfamiliar with military mindset. Aaron, the leader, was unfamiliar with taking orders, but fell into working for a crime lord way too easily. Should have skipped straight to the rescue job without a lot of the time wasted or found another transition job. Aaron also had anger issues, borderline PTSD, but didn't really reconize it or deal with it. The problem just sort of hangs there.

I still liked the book ok and will buy the next book, but the author needs an editor who is into military Sci-Fi.
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on April 17, 2013
This is the first book of a (coming?) series, and does a good job of setting things up for what promises to be a lot of coming fun. Unfortunately, the editing was done by someone who doesn't understand English idioms and homophones. I had a lot of trouble getting over these problems and would have enjoyed the book much more had just a little more quality been invested in the editing.
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on March 29, 2013
If you liked Firefly you will like this book. I is the same basic plot with some interesting twists. I liked it
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on July 21, 2014
Great sequel, yet a story all of it's own
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on January 21, 2015
Just like his books on the Restoration series and Nephilim, the author does a superb job of telling an excellent story that's actioned pack without ever boring the reader. Best of all there's other exciting books to read within this series!
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on February 28, 2015
good book
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on March 10, 2014
This independent author has another hit on his hands here. Heroes you can like, and a engaging plot. Worth the read.
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on February 15, 2014
I read a lot and when the story lines I enjoy dry up I try a few new ones. this was a good to great one. I enjoyed the start since this was a new beginning for the main characters. Will purchase book two to continue the story.
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on February 12, 2014
A solid adventure/space opera that takes 5 ex-military personnel who have been used as labratory experiments in a military enhancement program, from an escape to new lives.
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