A Long Way to Go for A Date [Paperback]

Henry Makow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2000

In the Philippines, Henry Makow, 48, discovered a tropical paradise where women are still traditional and the husband is the head of the household. A LONG WAY TO GO FOR A DATE is Makow's candid and ironic account of his courtship and marriage to a young Filipina. The book recounts his quest for love and masculine identity at a time when both are under siege in America. A book for men and women who want to understand them.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A raised middle finger to radical feminists.. a Molotov Cocktail in the war of the sexes! Funny, original, enlightening." -- Quil and Ink Oct/00

From the Author

"I am an explorer in the undiscovered continent of love, a scientist in the laboratory of masculine longing. Can a middle-aged man, scarred by the sex wars at home, find a new beginning on a tropical island where women are still femenine? Things don't look so good at this moment. Is my hypothesis wrong? Or wil it be discredited because I chose the wrong woman? I sense the satisfaction feminists would be feeling now. But I am not about to panic."

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Product Details

• Paperback: 128 pages
• Publisher: Silas Green (September 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0968772501
• ISBN-13: 978-0968772508
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (61 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #816,890 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #55 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

69 of 80 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Selfish Man Marries Spoiled Brat, June 29, 2001

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: A Long Way to Go for A Date (Paperback)

Author Makow takes the reader on a thoughtful ride through the trials and tribulations of marrying a Filipina 30 years his junior. The author is well informed, educated, and makes some exceptionally valid comments about the sterile and unloving "partnerships" involved in Western unions and how this is not the norm in the rest of the world. Some of his commentary about the immasculating nature of feminism in the West and his desire for unconditional love by which he justifies seeking a young 3rd world bride caused me to get out my highlighter. His take on the many faults of modern Western women are stirring to any man who has TRULY travelled in Asia. Unfortunately, he does not follow through with his own rhetoric.

The story comes unwound by the second half of the book. Makow, after convincing the reader of the legitimacy of his mission, comes off as particularly unlikable as he continuously bullies and manipulates his 18 year old fiancee/wife in petty arguments. He is chauvinistic to a fault. When she herself proves to be just as selfish and immature, one can hardly blame her. After all, she has the excuse of being a teenager. For all his advantage of wealth, age, and education, Makow is eventually subdued and humiliated by his child-bride.

This is unfortunate. It is a simple fact that thousands of Western men like myself have found true fulfillment in romance and marriage with Asian women through experiencing the beauty and synchronicity of cross-cultural romance. The author foolishly marries an immature teenager yet seems genuinely upset with her when she begins acting like one. Makow's book, though at times insightful, reveals him to be a poor specimen of Western male and a poor spokesperson for those of us who have found real love and fulfillment in a foreign land.

135 of 162 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars "Some people just don't learn"., April 26, 2004

By 

Jonathan Armstrong "enantidromian" (Denver, CO United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: A Long Way to Go for A Date (Paperback)

I received this wacky little book free of charge from the author, trading my copy of Roland Huntford's _The New Totalitarians_ to the author. Before proceeding with this review, take this to heart: don't be so free to donate books to someone based on a couple of Web columns they've written. (I'm not above criticizing Israel either, but I sure wish I'd known that Makow believes that the _Protocols of the Elders of Zion_ are authentic before sending him my treasured book on Swedish socialism!)

I've read through this book a couple of times and I still don't quite know what to make of it. In one sentence, it can be described as a travelogue revolving around Makow's quest to find a mail-order bride with some glib pronouncements on feminism and the decline of the family thrown in for good measure. On the plus side, its honesty is refreshing. Quite simply, Makow acknowledges that he is a "fat and unattractive 47-year old" (one of the few points beyond contention in the book) and that he is attracted to young women. He also admits to not having anything resembling a "real" relationship until around the age of 32. (Given this, it's not terribly surprising that he would consider an eighteen (!) year old potential marriage material.) One of his main reasons for attempting to locate a mail-order bride is given as:

"I am attracted to women under 35 who think I am too old. Sexual attraction is an important element in a male-female relationship. Nature, for obvious reasons, has bestowed this appeal on women of childbearing age. I get older but the women I find attractive don't." (p. 6). He also states that he doesn't need women for intellectual stimulation. "I read books for that." No one will doubt that a large proportion of American males think this way, so to hear someone actually articulate it shouldn't be at all shocking.

Now, the problem is that the book doesn't stop at being a soul-bearing confessional where the author undergoes a learning experience. All throughout the book, Makow has to inject his philosophy (which essentially boils down to the fact that feminism is the world's foremost evil) into his experiences, never admitting that perhaps things just aren't going the way he wants them to - instead, his experiences are a microcosm for what's ailing Western Civilization. The sort of circular logic that Makow employs throughout the book in order to justify his actions made my head spin. For example, he freely admits that his primary interest in young women is sexual. However, when Cecilia (his bride-to-be) starts wanting to have TOO much sex (for him) states that "I am beginning to feel like an appliance" (p. 91). He then reproaches her: "It's not feminine to demand sex. Don't ever do it again. You can indicate an interest but when I say no, stop." Gosh Henry, women have been faking O's and feigning headaches for quite some time; you give a lecture on _sex roles_.

This sort of thing permeates the book. However annoying, immature, and/or nauseating all of this might be, all this illustrated to me was that relationships founded on the "dominance" of one party inherently imply a master/slave relationship; the subconscious realization of this power dynamic is probably what caused Cecilia to rebel later in the book. You almost think he learns something in the end: "..I still believe that honest, loving, faithful, traditional women abound in Asia, but I was too love starved and immature to patiently find the right one." (p. 118). However, just a couple of paragraphs later we're treated to this paragraph: "The essence of masculinity is power. Any time a man gives his power to a woman, he is writing his epitaph and that of the relationship. Women do not respect men who pander to them." (p. 119) Hey, I'm no fan of Catherine MacKinnon myself, but I think it's safe to say that NO ONE respects anyone who is too obsequious to them!

This book does raise some important points. I don't doubt that men and women are fundamentally different. However, Makow blows the chance to make this relevant; it's pretty silly to equate all of "feminism" as analogous to the S.C.U.M. Manifesto; most women think it's garbage as well. True love for another person transcends all power dynamics. Makow just seems to think that the problem is that the power dynamic just needs to be shifted back to its original place; I'd argue that it needs to be removed completely.

28 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Geeez!, August 13, 2005

By 

M. Rocha - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: A Long Way to Go for A Date (Paperback)

Henry brings good details which lures its readers into this mixed up relationship that started off on the wrong foot. He makes the mistake of bringing his American customs with him to the Philippines and acts like a spoiled brat expecting Filipino traditions to bend backwards for him. Much of the time he "insists" on having things done his way in a country where his way is considerd disrespectful. He should have been way more sensitive to that. This is a story of one immature Filipina not even close to being ready for marriage and the other, a narrow minded unstable middle aged man who thinks he can bestow his desires and fantasies into a vessel who is also very deceptive in her ways. She knows exactly what she is, but plays it off to a man she knows is blinded to her beauty. Both of them used each other for their own agenda, thus ending in tragedy.