Longing for Dad: Father Loss and Its Impact [Paperback]

Beth Erickson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 1998

Whether you lost your father through death or divorce, or you wished he would have said "I love you" instead of merely being a good provider, you may harbor unresolved hurt in your soul.

When denied meaningful contact with our fathers, either physically or emotionally, a gaping hole or "father hunger" emerges in the child's psyche. If left unfulfilled, this "father hunger" triggers pronounced psychological patterns consigning that child to personal and professional dead-ends as an adult. Father hunger manifests itself in many forms: workaholism, substance abuse, chronic depression, sexual promiscuity, violent behavior, food addiction, and an inability to sustain intimate relationships.

Dr. Beth Erickson shows you how to identify, validate and heal the pain surrounding father loss and explore the spiritual crises that unresolved loss such as this generates. By sharing compelling case studies of men and women, and her own personal struggle to accept her father's death, she guides you through the healing process. After reading the dialogues and completing the exercises, you will fill the hole in your soul and emerge from the journey at peace with yourself and your relationships with your father.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Beth M. Erickson for 35+ has been a marriage and family therapist and additionally is the radio host of Relationships 101 on webtalkradio.net. She is the author of Helping Men Change: The Role of the Female Therapist, and has written numerous articles that stand at the intersection of gender and family therapy and writes her Daily Words of Wisdom From Dr; Beth.

Product Details

• Paperback: 286 pages
• Publisher: HCI (May 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558745491
• ISBN-13: 978-1558745490
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #85,428 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #69 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Fatherhood

More About the Author

Dr. Beth Erickson was born and raised in rural Minnesota. She completed her Ph.D. at the University of Minnesota in 1976; then completed two years' post-doctoral training in marriage and family therapy at The Family Institute, which is part of Northwestern University; has practiced marriage and family therapy for over three decades; is an executive and life coach, media host, and professional speaker; authored three books, the most recent of which is Marriage Isn't For Sissies: 7 Simple Keys to Unlocking the Best Part of Your Life, as well as a dozen juried articles for professional publications; has developed a teleseminar series to accompany Marriage Isn't for Sissies; previously was host of "Mirrors of the Soul," on which she interviewed bestselling authors, women movers and shakers, and ordinary people doing extraordinary things; has been sought for interviews on ABC Twin Cities Live, NBC Chicago, Voice of America, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, Better Homes and Gardens, and The Miami Herald, among other media outlets; makes her home in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota. Dr. Beth is a regular columnist for Women's Online Marketing and is known as "The Best Part of Your Life" Doctor.

Dr. Beth understands the importance of our connections with people to our quality of life and own survival as individuals, and to the continuation of us as a people and even as a civilization. Marriage Isn't For Sissies was written to aid and enhance all relationships not just marriage and along the way, she'll offer tools for evaluating, maintaining, strengthening, and ending relationships of all kinds.

Dr. Beth has always been a trail blazer with both her doctorial dissertation and her first published book Helping Men Change being recognized as breakthroughs in male therapy conducted by female therapists. Helping Men Change was and is still being used in academic classrooms to train female therapists in how to provide effective counseling to male clients.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

89 of 101 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Soulful guide to overcoming grief for your missing Dad, August 12, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Longing for Dad: Father Loss and Its Impact (Paperback)

Dr. Erickson writes clearly about absent fathers from both her personal experience and a clinical standpoint. This is an excellent work because she succeeds in conveying important and complex psychological theory for laypersons to incorporate into their journey of healing.

Dads fail often and easily in their children's mind. But such failure is rarely, if ever, purposely intended by Dad. It is difficult for some suffering adults to know and believe today, based on lingering childhood experiences, and not seeing the best of Dad, that his deeds were not planned. This is largely due to the fact that, as kids, they had difficulty seeing their father's own personal struggles and social-cultural realities outside of their own needs as kids. In this respect, it is easy to understand that little boys and girls can't organize their feelings properly--or as Dr. Erickson calls it in an "abstract" manner: kids only really care about their own survival, central importance, and how much they deserve love while growing up. And this is good... However, unfortunately, what children fail to grasp as they pass through their childhood without an appropriate father, is that fatherhood is awfully difficult and that Dad's apparent behaviour should not lead a child to blame him or herself for what appears to be a lack of loving from him.

Many grown men and women carry flawed imprints of 'childish' conclusions with them into adulthood. Well, sometimes Dad was just a plain jerk... In any case, adults manifest it through agression, fear of men (boyfriends), feelings of inferiority around groups of men, passive aggression, and a host of other ways. Grown men and women often pass their feelings of inadequacy due to father loss to their own children by acting out like their own father. Cycles can perpetuate if left unchecked.

Dr. Erickson sets out diffenrent sources and impacts of father loss. One major strength of this book is that her typologies and descriptions of causes and effects of father loss speak to any affected reader's situation and history. This is done without making the reader feel boxed in or categorized.

Another major strength is the inclusion of several helpful appendices. They include meaningful and insightful comments and 'instructions' for spouses and potential therapists. These provide supporters to 'get on the same page' before, during and after the reader's healing journey.

For readers that are ready to accept the painful process of introspecting into the dad-child dynamic, this book helps as a guide towards forgiving Dad, overcoming grief, and, hey, maybe even getting your Dad back at some appreciative level.

Thanks Dr. Erickson; good luck fellow travellers.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars empowering guide to living well in spite of father loss issues, February 24, 2006

By 

K. Thomas "Live Well" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Longing for Dad: Father Loss and Its Impact (Paperback)

If you're wondering why you settle for dead end relationships, alienate loved ones, or just have trouble relating in general, this book is for you. It provided me with the facts and explanations of behavior that a year of therapy had barely touched on. It also reads very well. Truly an empowering guide to living well in spite of father loss issues.

42 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars BUY THIS BOOK NOW!, April 15, 2001

By 

angela ryan (HOBOKEN, NJ United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Longing for Dad: Father Loss and Its Impact (Paperback)

This book has changed my life, and I will be forever grateful. I feel like a new person. I know this may sound dramatic, and no, I don't know the author. It opened my eyes to sooooo much! Such wonderful news, that I'm NOT all that my 8 year old mind believed I was, for the last 20 years. And now I know the reasons why, and can take it as truth. This book is such a blessing. What a freedom I feel from the thinking that I wasn't good enough, or deserving of just about everything. That's gone, and I feel like I can do anything. I've given myself permission to actually like myself. I wish the same type of miracles to whomever else reads it, and of course, to my angel, the author!