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Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's [Paperback]

John Elder Robison
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (382 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 9, 2008
New York Times Bestseller


“As sweet and funny and sad and true and heartfelt a memoir as one could find.”
—from the foreword by Augusten Burroughs


Ever since he was young, John Robison longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother, Augusten Burroughs, in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.” It was not until he was forty that he was diagnosed with a form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way he saw himself—and the world. A born storyteller, Robison has written a moving, darkly funny memoir about a life that has taken him from developing exploding guitars for KISS to building a family of his own. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien yet always deeply human.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Robison's thoughtful and thoroughly memorable account of living with Asperger's syndrome is assured of media attention (and sales) due in part to his brother Augusten Burroughs's brief but fascinating description of Robison in Running with Scissors. But Robison's story is much more fully detailed in this moving memoir, beginning with his painful childhood, his abusive alcoholic father and his mentally disturbed mother. Robison describes how from nursery school on he could not communicate effectively with others, something his brain is not wired to do, since kids with Asperger's don't recognize common social cues and body language or facial expressions. Failing in junior high, Robison was encouraged by some audiovisual teachers to fix their broken equipment, and he discovered a more comfortable world of machines and circuits, of muted colors, soft light, and mechanical perfection. This led to jobs (and many hilarious events) in worlds where strange behavior is seen as normal: developing intricate rocket-shooting guitars for the rock band Kiss and computerized toys for the Milton Bradley company. Finally, at age 40, while Robison was running a successful business repairing high-end cars, a therapist correctly diagnosed him as having Asperger's. In the end, Robison succeeds in his goal of helping those who are struggling to grow up or live with Asperger's to see how it is not a disease but a way of being that needs no cure except understanding and encouragement from others. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

*Starred Review* If one looked at only Robison's impish sense of humor (he once ordered a blow-up sex doll to be delivered to his junior-high-school teacher—at school), or his success as a classic-car restorer, it might be impossible to believe he has the high-functioning form of autism spectrum disorder called Asperger's syndrome. Clues abound, however, in his account of a youth encompassing serious inability to make and keep friends; early genius at pyrotechnics, electronics, and math; and pet names such as Poodle for his dog and Snort and Varmint for his baby brother. Much later, he calls his wife Unit Two. It is easy to recognize these telltale traits today, but Robison went undiagnosed until he was 40. In the 1960s, he was variously labeled lazy, weird, and, worse, sociopathic. Consequently, his childhood memories too often read like a kid's worst nightmares. Not only did his parents fail to understand the root of his socialization problems but they were also virtually as dysfunctional as the pair Augusten Burroughs portrays in Running with Scissors (2002). 'Nough said? Not nearly. Robison's memoir is must reading for its unblinking (as only an Aspergian can) glimpse into the life of a person who had to wait decades for the medical community to catch up with him. Chavez, Donna --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 302 pages
  • Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Reprint edition (September 9, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307396185
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307396181
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 7.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (382 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,690 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Elder Robison is a free range Aspergian male who grew up in the 1960s before the Asperger diagnosis came into common use. After dropping out of high school, John worked in the music business where he created sound effects and electronic devices, including the signature illuminated, smoking, and rocket firing guitars he built for KISS. Later John worked on some of the first video games and talking toys at Milton Bradley. After a ten year career in electronics John founded Robison Service, a specialty automobile company in Springfield, Massachusetts.

Robison Service grew to be one of the largest independent restoration and service specialists for BMW, Bentley, Jaguar, Land Rover, Mercedes, and Rolls Royce cars. The company has become one of the top-ranked Bosch Car Service centers in North America.

However, that wasn't enough. John wanted to do more; to find a way to give something back to other misfit kids who struggle to find their way in the world. Inspired by the reception of his brother's book Running With Scissors, John began speaking to groups of young people, and a year or two later, he decided to write a book. That book, Look Me in the Eye, was an instant bestseller.

John was launched on a new career, in addition to his successful car company.

When he's not at Robison Service, John now serves as an adjunct faculty in the department of Communication Sciences and Disorders at Elms College in Chicopee, Massachusetts. He has served as a panel member for the Institute for Autism Research, The Centers for Disease Control, The National Institutes of Mental Health and Autism Speaks. John is involved in TMS autism research at Harvard Medical School and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, and serves on the advisory board for Mass General Hospital's YouthCare program.

John is very active in his efforts to support and promote research leading to therapies or treatments that will improve the lives of people who live with autism in all its forms today. John is widely known as an advocate for people with autism and neurological differences.

John is the author of Look Me in the Eye, my life with Asperger's, and Be Different, Adventures of a free-range Aspergian. John's writing has been translated into ten languages and his work is sold in over 60 countries. His writing also appears in a number of magazines and he's a regular blogger on Psychology Today.

In addition to his autism advocacy work, John is a lifelong car enthusiast, an avid hiker, a photographer, a music lover, and a world-class champion eater. He lives in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Find John on the web:
www.robisonservice.com - the car company
www.johnrobison.com - John's personal site
jerobison.blogspot.com - John's blog
JohnElderRobison - on Facebook
@johnrobison - on Twitter


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
146 of 159 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Satisfying and Thought-Provoking Memoir September 26, 2007
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I bought Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison mainly because I was enticed by reviews and interviews to explore the mind of someone who (because of Asperger's Syndrome) thinks a bit differently from us so-called "regular" folks. The book centers on John's struggle to become socially and economically successful as a person with Asperger's Syndrome. His condition wasn't diagnosed until he turned 40.

The two main things about this book that stood out for me (from beginning to end) were: (1) Mr. Robison doesn't give many clues about how he expects the reader to react to his stories. In other words, you get to make your own judgments - whether about his legal and illegal pranks or about his decision to not get involved with groupies (for two examples). He doesn't spend much time defending his behavior and he isn't dogmatic about what's right and what's wrong. (2) He thinks a lot and in unusual ways. As I read about his sometimes-elaborate thought processes, I remembered what a friend told me long ago: "If you're confused, good! It means you're thinking!" And I pondered some of the social conflicts in my own life caused by what others have characterized as "thinking too much."

In chapter 26 "Units One Through Three," Mr. Robison hilariously describes in frank terms the thought processes he went through when choosing his wife. ("Choosing" isn't the right word, but I promised myself I wouldn't write any spoilers into my review.) Here's a short sample from the book, from chapter 26, about his logic concerning choosing a wife: "Unfortunately, when picking a mate from a set of three sisters, it is usually necessary to establish a relationship with one in order to meet the other two. That usually precludes a person from selecting a different sister once an initial choice has been made."

Though I ultimately found "Look Me in the Eye" to be a satisfying and often funny book, it didn't fully capture my interest until the author began vividly describing a major prank (performed during his teenage years) related to fire. From there on (through many chapters) until he finishes talking about his work with rock and roll bands (which included creating pyrotechnically flamboyant guitars for KISS), I was utterly captivated by Mr. Robison's exciting stories. The chapters after that point aren't bad either.

Yes, Mr. Robison does think somewhat differently. He demonstrates an inspiring, practical approach to dealing with some of life's challenges. With his book, he managed to place those challenges under a microscope for all to see. I recommend that you take a look.
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362 of 411 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
A warning about this book: Asperger's Syndrome is not quite what the author makes it out to be. If you were to only learn about the diagnosis from this memoir, here is what you might expect: "symptoms" that include amazingly innovative genius and a life of non-stop social and financial success.

The author: 1. makes numerous friends during adolescence, finding (as he describes it) acceptance and comfort in the music scene of his community. 2. makes a romantic connection during this time, sustaining a long-term relationship, including (later) marriage and a child. 4. states that he does not like small talk, does not like change. When does he become aware of this? As he is on tour with the worlds biggest rock band (He is reminded of his small-talk aversion later in the book...when he succeeds in the corporate world, functioning as both a creative asset and supervisor.) The biggest dilemma in the book: should he remain a business executive...or, should he open and run his own business?

Wow. Turns out that Asperger's is fun and empowering...assuming, of course, that you're a socially-adaptable techno-genius with highly marketable engineering skills.

'Look Me in the Eye' does make for a fascinating window into Asperger's Syndrome. However, if you are purchasing this book, please bear in mind: few people (and I mean very few people, including neuro-typicals) are as high-functioning as the author. This is a memoir by someone with Asperger's Syndrome, not an educational tool about it.
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67 of 74 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Viewing the World Through Aspergerian Eyes October 19, 2007
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
People who suffer from Asperger's Syndrome view the world through very different eyes than do normal people. Things that seem perfectly mundane to normals take on a whole new appearance when someone with Asperger's looks at them. Aspergians (a term coined by Robison) do not pick up on the social cues and body language other people do. They don't think things that most people peceive as important matter; and things they believe are of vital importance are seen as inconsequential by normals.

Think for a minute about the sound of nails on a chalkboard. To many normals, the sound is something to make you grit your teeth and wish for its absence. To Aspergians, the sound can range from absolutely intolerable to pleasant, depending on how their particular affect of the syndrome perceives it. This difference in perception is one reason it's so hard for Aspergians to relate to the world.

John Elder Robison has given us a solid look at what it's like to be an Aspergian. He points out that the syndrome gives as well as takes. Although he had a difficult time as a child and adolescent only partly due to his Asperger's (he was afflicted with a pair of nutcase parents, which is the last thing anyone with Asperger's needs), his gifts for 'hearing' a sound and then being able to construct devices to make that sound a reality gave him successful careers as a tech wizard working with the sound systems and instruments of the rock group KISS, among others; and a successful career (as defined by the mundanes) as an engineer for Parker Brothers in the very early days of electronic games and early game consoles. His current career as a master restorer of classic cars also is due in part to the way his Asperger's causes him to see the world; like many other Aspergians, he relates much better to machines than he does to people because machines are logical and do not deliberately set out to hurt you.

Thinking back to your school days, I am sure you will remember the weirdo who was hopelessly awkward, who had no social graces and few if any friends, but who was incredibly gifted with one subject or non-sports-related activity in or outside school. I'm also sure you'll recall (if you are honest about it) how that kid was tormented for his awkwardness, gracelessness, and inability to fit in. Chances are you were dealing with an Aspergian, who had no more of a clue of how socialization and perception works than you did about why he was the pink monkey in a cage full of brown monkeys in the jungle that is childhood and adolescence. Thanks to Robison, you now have some idea of what life was like for that kid, and why he was the way he was, and what life is like when you're the one who has Asperger's.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars READ
This book holds personal value to me, as i have two younger brothers who are autistic and it really helps you to understand how their mind works and makes you more understanding
Published 2 hours ago by Jasmine Hornbrook
5.0 out of 5 stars Good insights
I found this book gave me some very good insights into the way that Asperger's people live and work. Read more
Published 2 days ago by Mrs Lorraine Nitschke
4.0 out of 5 stars Look Me in the Eye. My Life with Aspergers
I haven't had time to finish this book. My husband read it and felt it was very beneficial. We have a grandon diagnosed with Aspergers as well as ADD, ADHD,Mood Disorder and... Read more
Published 11 days ago by joy donahoe
5.0 out of 5 stars Actual experience from an Asperger's view point.
Finally someone describes Asperger's from an
Asperger's kid experience. I am SO greatful!
Now I can be more supportive of my Grandson's
life.
Published 15 days ago by Bonnie Lore
5.0 out of 5 stars Good, non-clinical account; good read.
This is a book that is accessible to everyone. I have great hopes that my family members who are struggling with the concept of autism in their midst will find this account... Read more
Published 16 days ago by eclectic reader
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful. Heartfelt.
Extremely engaging. The writer draws you into a world most of us know little about. The book was inspiring in terms of overcoming the hand that life deals and focusing on our... Read more
Published 20 days ago by Brenda Gillarde
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for all families with Aspys and their teachers
Just hit home with so many important facts about AS. Mr Robison's personal account of his story touched me deeply
Published 27 days ago by Sharon Abramson
5.0 out of 5 stars Look me in the eyes
Troy was very good about letting me know the status of my shipment. The book was excellant and has prompted me to now buy "Running with scissors" Very good book.
Published 1 month ago by Carol Hopper
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome insight into someone else's brain
I absolutely loved the way the author was able to break down all of his thoughts and feelings, allowing an outsider to really get a glimpse into what it might be like to have... Read more
Published 1 month ago by William J Coladonato
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Reading for Aspergers' and their Families
I gave this poignant memoir by a brilliant man who suffered rejection and misunderstanding at home and at school, and later, into middle-age, to the mother of a young man recently... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Marilyn August Ewenczyk
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Topic From this Discussion
Books With Aspergers Main Characters
Here are a few:
"The Speed of Dark" by Elizabeth Moon is a wonderful science fiction novel, set in the near future, where the main character has the option of a treatment that would alleviate his Asperger syndrome, but perhaps his special talents as well.
"Asperger Syndrome, the... Read more
Sep 15, 2008 by Aspie Mom |  See all 6 posts
Questions for the author
I read Running with Scissors and was delighted & horrified all at once with the family story. I am anxious to read more about you and your experiences. I have a son who has some characteristics of Asperger's but the diagnosis is equivocal. He is 9, has college-level vocabulary and reads... Read more
Sep 5, 2007 by Patti |  See all 24 posts
My problem with this book
Asperger's does not have to be a disability, and this story clearly illustrates that. You say, "most aspies work in low paying jobs and are incapable of sustaining a romantic relationship."

I agree that what you say is true for many aspies who live disabled lives. If you are on... Read more
Aug 26, 2009 by John Elder Robison |  See all 13 posts
Other Super Books About Autism
Other great books have been written by William Stillman, an Asperger's self-advocate. He blogs at Basil & Spice: Author & Book Views On a Healthy Life.

Kelly Jad'on
www.BasilAndSpice.com
Oct 5, 2008 by Kelly Jadon |  See all 3 posts
Not so much a question but a "thank you"
M. Ash, thank you for your insightful report. I have 2 boys with AS syndrome - I have to be honest here, I am thick as two short planks!! So, everyone around me is denying the syndrome or saying that they have worked with AS for the last 15yrs (in-laws are Teachers), and they really don't get... Read more
Dec 7, 2007 by Miranda M. Sewell |  See all 3 posts
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