Customer Reviews

Looking for Mary: (Or, the Blessed Mother and Me) (Compass)

5 star:		(37)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I love when God sends us unlikely teachers. Beverly Donofrio is to renewed adult Catholic faith as Anne Lamott is to renewed adult Protestant faith. Both are women with pasts who have worked through them to ask for forgiveness. I LOVED this book. I am at a place where I am coming back to God after a 10 year absence. When we baby boomers rejected our Catholic faith it was for the very same reasons Donofrio did: birth control, a woman's right to chooses, and the antiquated patriarchal hierarchy of THE CHURCH. But organized religion and faith are two different things. By tossing out the perceived bad, we unfortunately threw the baby out with the bath water. There are so many positive aspects to Catholicism. Donofrio reminds us that one of those pluses is Jesus' mother, Mary. I was truly moved by this book. And it has accelerated my own walk of faith back to the Catholic church. Having women who decry the unfairness of some aspects of the Catholic Church as members of the church is not a bad thing. It's like having liberals in the Republican party. Donofrio has given us an important work. Perhaps she will start a revolution of sorts. Millions of baby boomers praying the rosary. (I just ordered one.) Mary is also a comfort to the many women who are victims of male abuse who have trouble with the image of father as God. Mary is the mother we all need; the mother we want to be. Thanks Beverly for reminding us.

Some Catholic purists will be horrified by this book. Beverly Donofrio is a hardcore unbeliever who finds herself irresistably drawn to the Blessed Mother. Understandably, after thirty-five years as an atheist, Donofrio still carries a lot of residual baby boomer baggage - irritation with the Church's political incorrectness, an obsession with religious superficialities, and some rather heretical ideas, such as her notion that Catholics "worship" Mary (won't the Protestants have a field day with that!) not to mention a teensy propensity to narcissism, even in repentance.

Nevertheless, I believe this little book is a miracle. This book is a message from Mary to every baby boomer who left the Church during the sixties and seventies. So what if Mary's messenger is not perfect? That is precisely why she is the perfect messenger for us, the hardcore feminists, the yuppies blinded by ambition, the New Agers toying with spirituality, the hardhearted unbelievers who think religious people are crazy fools. This book will work. Before the year 2000 is over, this book will touch the hearts of thousands of people, the very people who least expect it, all over the United States and beyond. It will inspire prayer in people who normally scoff at prayer. It will work because Mary is, as Donofrio has learned, a woman who gets her way.

If you are Catholic and struggling, read this book! If you are a woman, a mother and struggling, read this book! If you need inspiration or faith, read this book!

What a wonderful read! I found this book accidently and Beverly would suggest that maybe I was led to it. I wouldn't argue with her.

Between the de-emphasis on Mary in the current US Catholic Church and the criticism of my Prostestant friends, I had lost a commitment to Mary. The rosary was passe and praying to her constituted icon worship. Though I am still grappling with the likelihood of the Assumption, Beverly's experiences have opened my heart to the love and support that Mary can provide. The Hail Mary is again tripping off my tongue.

Beverly speaks directly from her heart into the reader's with a voice that is real and powerful.

Yes, I believe Mary has a job for Beverly and it has started beautifully with this book.

Although I'm sure most of the people interested in this tome will be Christians, I'd like to appeal to people of other faiths to give this short, delightful book a chance. Although Donofrio's story is focused on her development in the Christian faith, it's a great tale in a more general sense of how much peace that faith can bring into a person's life. There are two simultaneous narratives in this book: the chronological sequence describing Donofrio's pilgrimage to Bosnia, and the unsequenced story of her life leading up to the pilgrimage; I find the weaving together of the two narratives to be engaging and interesting--and, surprisingly, not confusing in the least! Donofrio employs naked honesty in the confessions about her life "before," which took a lot of guts. I hope it will help readers see (1) just how self-centered a lot of modern life is, and (2) that there's no such thing as a life that's "too bad" to be turned around with faith. Further, I think it's great that Donofrio discusses the importance of community to her faith development--several modern "religions" have cropped up that are based in the individual, but only in *organized* religions can one expand her faith development through her ties with others. I also think this book is interesting in that it explores a common phenomenon--that is, that Catholic women are often much more devoted to St. Mary than Catholic men are. Donofrio offers no scientific or psychological explanations, but her own exploration of her relationship to Mary is quite edifying in and of itself. Last, I think this is a great book for people like me who have never experienced any kind of crisis of faith: I think it can help us understand better how to reach out to our friends, help them discover the inner peace and completion that faith can bring, without scaring them away. I'm sending this book to everyone I know--my recently divorced friend who's casting about for a new man to complete her, my lapsed Catholic friend whose boyfriend's lack of faith has kept her from going to church, my pious aunt and grandmother who are always wracked with guilt over some minor transgression, my teenage cousins who don't seem too enamored with the whole idea of the Catholic faith. I just don't think there's anyone, especially women, who won't take something wonderful away from this book.

I just finished reading "Looking for Mary" for the second time. I meant to pass it on to a relative when I was done, but I can't give it away; I know I'll reread it again and again. I'm a lover of fiction and mysteries, but something (Mary gets what she wants!) called me to buy this book, to read and ponder over the words, and to tell others about it. It's a glorious blend of story-telling and meditation. It will make you smile, and make you think...maybe make you begin to believe. Read it, and pass it on--or at least buy a copy for a friend!

I loved this autobiography; one really comes to like and admire Beverly (hard to imagine not being on a first name basis with her by the book's end ) both for the courage in pouring her heart out and the witty charm of her writing style. A rare combination indeed.

For Protestants who believe that Mary equals idolatry, do not worry, sometimes whole weeks go by and we Catholics do not see a statue of Mary weeping tears of blood at our local parish.

Besides, this narrative is unlikely to make it into a Catholic Book of the Month Club (Is there such a thing?) what with Beverly deliberately writing that she hoped Jesus and Mary Magdalene got it on, that she couldn't bring herself to see J.P # 2 despite being granted a Papal audience because his stance on birth control and women in general is barbarically primitive; and that she loves worshipping (she knows damn well the party line is 'venerating') The Blessed Virgin Mary--or as Beverly refers to her, the B.V.M.

What we've got here is a repentant Christian, who is brought back to the Church, in spite of herself, through the Grace of The B.V.M.--who is frankly aware of the absurdity of her condition and yet tremendously grateful.

As for the travelogue, Beverly takes us to the spiritual heights of Medjurgoje; where seeing the sun spin out of orbit or having silver medals that turn into gold is commonplace enough to be blase, to the abyss of whitebread West Los Angeles, California, where a young priest beams at the congregation while recounting how much he likes to rollerblade (Like, groovy, dude!)

In the end, our heroine finds a home, liturgy and peace in Mexico. But the travels are only part of the panorama of sinners, saints, zealots, bigots, and other assorted lunatics which make up The Church (and this book.)

The redemption of Beverly is a bittersweet story. Hardest to take is her self-flagellation at not having been a good mother to her son, Jason,---who must be pushing 30 and sounds like he's turned out really quite well.

Even though to hear Beverly tell it, she sounds as if she sold him to child prostitution and broke his bones to get alms from strangers on the adcvice of her boyfriends.

Beverly, ease up, you weren't THAT bad of a mother!

She was a teenage mom who married a loon because she got pregnant. She resented her son for 'grounding' her during her youth, and avoided some tough choices by being his "pal" rather than his Mom.

Oh yes she also (gasp!) got involved with even weirder men and made a mess of her life while Jason tagged along--Ok, so it won't win he Donna Reed/ Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, but she wasn't exactly a Kennedy who could afford 3 nannies for Jason. As a matter of fact, she was essentially a kid herself who got very little help from anyone.

Plus there were episodes in which her behavior in defending her son were brave and truly exemplary but she dsmisses them when contrasting them to her acts of selfishness.

In any case, above all, this is a touching story, remarkably free of sentimentality and very, very human.

thanks, Beverly.

...ALSO a boomer lapsed Catholic. Married to a scientist. He would hate this book. I LOVED this book. I particularly love the authors attachment to Mary souvenirs. I believe that the author is completely sincere, and so am I at this moment. I too long for "proof". A must-read for anyone who's attracted to Mary for whatever reason, or for someone looking for a good read who is willing to suspend disbelief for the time it takes to finish the book.

A friend recommended this book ... and I have to say it was a fine read. It's the story of Beverly Donofrio's search for meaning in her life via the Virgin Mary. She started out collecting Mary icons at yard sales and soon had an entire room dedicated to Mary. God does work in mysterious ways.

She delves in depth into her relationship with her son and how God healed that part of her life. But I had to laugh out loud at one statement she made. She said she just couldn't understand why God did not include Mary in the Trinity, bless her heart. What most people don't know (and male preachers/priests seldom ever mention) is that in the Old Testament God is referred to as El Shaddai. Shaddai is formed from "shad" (the breast) Genesis 49:25 or "The Breasted" - the "Nourisher", "the Strength-Giver", the "Satisfier" who pours Himself/Herself into believing lives. God is all female/all male and thankfully, much, much more than the sum of the two! ...

This is a must buy for all who are into finding your spirit. It's funny and very human-related. Beverly is down to earth when she describes her feelings and her thoughts. I was so compelled to read the book that I could not put it down. We are all looking for what links us to this earth and need spiritual guidance which is where Mary, our link to this earth, seeks us out. She gives Beverly messages and signs that she didn't even know existed until her trip to Medjugorje. She makes you think deep thoughts and helps you realize that forgiveness is there, you just have to want it and accept it. Pick up the book today, you won't regret it.

As a Lutheran, I never really learned anything about Mary, other than the fact she was the mother of Jesus. But while at the library one afternoon, I was walking down an aisle and my eyes fell upon this book. It was tucked away behind some bigger books. I'm not sure why it stuck out but I picked it up, took it home, and read it. It was wonderful! It really made me more interested in Mary. While reading it one night, I smelled roses, which I found really strange, but oddly soothing. On the next page it says that when Mary is around, people say they smell roses.

I thought this was a wonderful book.