Looking Out for #1 [Mass Market Paperback]

Robert J. Ringer (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 12, 1985

In page after page of this self-confidence and life-enhancing bible, bestselling author Robert Ringer guides you on the most exciting and rewarding journey of your life. This #1 bestseller will clearly demonstrate how to get from where you are now to where you want to be--with friends, lovers, finances, and all other areas of your personal world.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

In page after page of this self-confidence and life-enhancing bible, bestselling author Robert Ringer guides you on the most exciting and rewarding journey of your life. This #1 bestseller will clearly demonstrate how to get from where you are now to where you want to be--with friends, lovers, finances, and all other areas of your personal world.

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Fawcett (September 12, 1985)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449210103
• ISBN-13: 978-0449210109
• Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 4.2 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #709,250 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars R.J. Ringer is truly # 1 April 7, 2000

By Frank

Format:Mass Market Paperback

Ringer's book has literally changed my life. I often find myself thinking back to the words I had read, or flipping through pages of specific sections to remind me of his philosophies. Especially when I am dealing with difficult people. This book provided the words and methods on how to conduct oneself in order to fulfill whatever goals you set for yourself.

I do NOT consider myself a follower of everything the book spews at me. And I don't particularly agree with EVERYTHING the book states either. The beauty of this publication is that you are always free to disagree with certain positions that Ringer takes, and yet still benefit from the rest of his literature.

Anyone who I have encountered who dissed the book, I later end up finding out, never actually read it. The title does scare people away. Luckily it scares the "wrong" people away anyway. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with the inner conflict of what they want or need to do for themselves vs. what they feel they should do.

Although, slightly dated in its refrences, this book has undone years worth of damage I have suffered in the education system (I am about to start my second Masters degree) and has also given me the rational to deal with turbulant personalities, whether they be family, friends, or business associates.

I bought this book for 33 1/3 cents in a used book store, and knowing now what it has offered me in the area of betterment in my life, I would gladly have paid 30 or 40 dollars. You simply can't make a better investment in a life altering book!

Recently I was asked if I could meet anybody in the world, who would it be. I say it would be Ringer, for nothing more that to say thank-you for putting his thoughts in writing....

Again, I stress that I absolutely do NOT agree with everything the man says, but I still have to give it my full thumbs up. And for me, thats says alot. Read more ›

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars "Looking Out For Number One" helped me look out for others! July 17, 2003

By L. L Teuling VINE™ VOICE

Format:Mass Market Paperback

We have to take care of ourselves before we can be of much use to anyone else. In order to give, I need to have something to give. And Robert Ringer offers his advice on how to take care of yourself.

He deals with friends, financial matters and romance, to name a few. He gives examples of his great triumphs, many of which he learned after his big time failures. While he accepts no irresponsible excuses, he still writes with empathy -- he knows he has made mistakes, too. And because he has risen above them, he has earned his right to advise his readers.

His humor and ability to coin phrases are unbelievable! Many times I remind myself not to let the "Pop off mess up man" take over(read it and find out what that means).

My favorite section of the book is his chapter on building a strong, solid financial life.

Read it! And be entertained and taught at the same time.

55 of 65 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Recommended with a few cautions November 15, 2003

By David H. Downing

Format:Mass Market Paperback

As others -- including Ringer himself -- have said, this is NOT a book about disregarding the rights and feelings of everyone but yourself. In fact, according to the principles presented in the book, such disregard is ultimately self-defeating. This book IS about having a realistic understanding of what motivates everyone including yourself. Like it or not, people want to make the best deal they can make for themselves -- which means if you believe everyone has a moral/ethical obligation to respond to your needs, you'll constantly be disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and a prime target for every con artist with swamp land to sell. How many people do you know who are bitter and angry over life not giving them a better deal -- but who have never given anybody any reason to offer them one? Conversely, if you go through life determined to show everyone how totally selfless you are, you'll also constantly be disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and a prime target for every con artist with swamp land to sell. How many people do you know who are bitter and angry over all the "totally unselfish" things they've done that have gone unrecognized and unrewarded -- and who might be better off and better liked if they'd acknowledge the hidden price tag?

I'm not trying to lecture you, but to present Ringer's message in the best light. One reason I've found his book useful is that I've been both of those people I mentioned above. But I'm not anxious to discuss my own imperfections, so back to the book.

Ringer divides life into a series of "hurdles" that must be cleared in order to reach the "finish line" called success. The order in which these are presented may seem odd at first, but ultimately proves to make sense.... For example, why put Friendship and Love after Finance, when many folks probably feel they'd like to take care of the basic human need for friendship and love first, then worry about finding gainful employment? Because of a basic rule that applies to all three situations, but is easiest to accept when seeking gainful employment -- that if you want someone to give you something of value, you have to offer them something of value. It makes more sense to introduce that rule in a context where the reader will accept it, then make the point that it applied in other areas where people don't expect it to.

My only quibble with the order of presentation concerns the chapter on crusades, which seems a bit like an intrusion -- although, to be fair, I'm not sure where I'd have put it.

And I feel the book has two other, bigger problems. First, it seems slanted toward men. This comes across partly in many of the examples, and partly in the coarseness of some of the language. Okay, so there are plenty of women out there who indulge in coarse language as well, but if you;re gonna publish a book, which is presumably aimed at the entire country, you gotta think of the big picture. Even if coarse language doesn't indicate gender bias, it indicates some kind of bias.

The second, and more serious problem is that Ringer is essentially an articulate layman, which means that he (a) may not be qualified to make some of the statements he makes, and (b) lacks (or at least fails to demonstrate) an understanding of how his philosophy fits into the established body of ethical and psychological thought.

The example of (a) that really jumped out at me was the statement that you shouldn't stay in a bad relationship because of children, since children will be worse off growing up with two unhappy parents than with a single parent. Intuitively, this makes sense, but I would act on it without consulting a few child psychologists and/or looking up the statistics.

Regarding (b), Ringer appears first of all to be unaware that the ethical system of rational selfishness is one of three recognized systems. The other two are (1) do what's most beneficial to the greatest number of people, and (2) assume there is a set of absolute moral rules and do what they tell you. Ringer might have had more credibility of he'd acknowledge these systems and defended rational selfishness against them.

But the real killer is that the assumption on which he bases the entire book has been shown to be flawed. This is the assumption that everybody seeks to act in his/her own best interest all the time, even when this appears not to be so. The flaw in that assumption lies in its apparent flawlessness. Every hypothetical situation you can dream up can be explained in terms of the assumption being true. One of Ringers examples is a man who goes to a flower show with his wife instead of doing something he'd rather do. This man is acting in his own best interest because he figures the pleasure he'd get from whatever he wanted to do is outweighed by the trouble he'll be in if he doesn't go to the flower show.

Well, it turns out that because you can't devise a situation that would prove the assumption false, you can't devise a truly reliable test of its validity. Such a test consists of s situation in which there will definitely be one outcome if the assumption is true, and another outcome if the assumption is false. You can't set up such a situation if every possible outcome of every possible situation indicates that the assumption is true.

But that doesn't make book is worthless. The problem I just pointed out occurs only if you read Ringer's statement as an unqualified, all encompassing assumption. If you soften it to something like "Most people should be expected to be motivated by self-interest most of the time," that's another story. Read more ›

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Elicits a Reality most want to deny; great book June 1, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Mass Market Paperback

When I tried reading this book in college, I really couldn't relate. After a few years in the "jungle" (in my case NYC, financial difficulty, relationship problems), I felt that this book, unlike others which focus almost exclusively on positive, optimistic, and goal-seeking attitudes as answers to life, was on the money.

Robert writes about value-for-value relationships (akin to the law of kharma/psychological reciprocity), and how this concept determines the outcome and rewards of relationships, whether love, friendship or employer.

I have studied psychology, and have read more than twenty self-help books, and though this might be a little surprising (in the sense that people might find it cynical to an extent), I think there's so much truth to it. And because of the title, I found myself telling people "it's a good message - it's not about stepping on others." In fact, when one looks out for him/herself, that's when he can give or provide to someone else if he/she wants, and what he or she can give. So, it's also a message of independence. I've seen it happen where people help and give, sometimes giving what they cannot, and they end up frustrated, and things are worse than where they begin.

Though the book might seem a bit cynical, I think it is on the money, and Robert was an author who could come forth and talk about reality (though I think we all need to escape it once in a while, or not focus on the negativity).

I can related to a lot of what is in this book, though sometimes I do not want to believe in all of it - but it's reality. And I've found myself losing touch with it at the wrong times, and this book gives me a great message that will prepare me for future situations.

Good job Robert.