Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity [Hardcover]

Kerry Cohen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 3, 2008

For everyone who was that girl.
For everyone who knew that girl.
For everyone who wondered who that girl was.

Kerry Cohen is eleven years old when she recognizes the power of her body in the leer of a grown man. Her parents are recently divorced and it doesn't take long before their lassitude and Kerry's desire to stand out--to be memorable in some way--combine to lead her down a path she knows she shouldn't take. Kerry wanted attention. She wanted love. But not really understanding what love was, not really knowing how to get it, she reached for sex instead.

Loose Girl is Kerry Cohen's captivating memoir about her descent into promiscuity and how she gradually found her way toward real intimacy. The story of addiction--not just to sex, but to male attention--Loose Girl is also the story of a young girl who came to believe that boys and men could give her life meaning. It didn't matter who he was. It was their movement that mattered, their being together. And for a while, that was enough.

From the early rush of exploration to the day she learned to quiet the desperation and allow herself to love and be loved, Kerry's story is never less than riveting. In rich and immediate detail, Loose Girl re-creates what it feels like to be in that desperate moment, when a girl tries to control a boy by handing over her body, when the touch of that boy seems to offer proof of something, but ultimately delivers little more than emptiness.

Kerry Cohen's journey from that hopeless place to her current confident and fulfilled existence is a cautionary tale and a revelation for girls young and old. The unforgettable memoir of one young woman who desperately wanted to matter, Loose Girl will speak to countless others with its compassion, understanding, and love.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Despite the rather prurient title, Cohen's memoir is a deeply poignant, desperately sad account of a confused, directionless adolescent girl's free fall into self-abnegation. Growing up affluent in New Jersey in the 1980s and smarting from the recent breakup of her parents, 11-year-old Cohen begins to recognize the power her nubile body has over men. Being wanted becomes her greatest hope; once she and her older sister, Tyler, begin living with her father when her mother decides to attend med school in the Philippines, she latches onto other girls with whom she treks into New York City to bar hop at places like Dorian's Red Hand and pick up older, eager boys. Stunningly, the father is not alarmed by her early-morning absences, but seems to encourage her popularity, buying her clothes and treating her as a grownup. Gradually, hooking up with boys becomes a need, a way to bolster her faltering sense of self-worth. A litany of dreary sex acts follows with young men she doesn't particularly like and who don't like her, regardless of STD scares and a college rape. The painter mother of one of her boyfriends does initiate her into more intellectual pursuits, awakening a redemptive desire to become a writer. Cohen's memoir of a lost childhood is commendably honest and frequently excruciating to read. (Apr.)
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Review

"Kerry Cohen's powerful, transfixing story will be familiar to many women, most of whom won't want to admit it." -- Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir

"Cohen's clear-eyed, evocative, and engaging voice draws you into this harrowing story, into the heart of her addiction." -- Alison Smith, Name All the Animals

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Hardcover: 210 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (June 3, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401303498
• ISBN-13: 978-1401303495
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (87 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #268,024 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

178 of 188 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Truly life-changing, June 12, 2008

By 

Jack Holden (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity (Hardcover)

I probably had no business reading this book. I'm a 20 year old guy, and Cohen's new memoir has been clearly targeted towards women, specifically young girls still coming of age. When I was buying it, the lady at the Borders cash register gave me one of the strangest looks I have ever seen. I tried to explain. It was recommended to me by a friend, so I figured it would be an interesting read. I'd just sell it back on Amazon after I was done.

All that being said, there is no way I am selling this book.

We have all seen those girls at bars and parties, the ones who flaunt themselves around. The ones everybody calls whores and sluts. Maybe you look at them with disgust. Maybe with pity or empathy. Maybe, if you're like one of the guys in Cohen's story, you look at them with lust. Whatever it is you think when you see a promiscuous girl, this book will change your mind forever.

Loose Girl holds nothing back. Cohen writes about her journey with heart-breaking honesty and detail that will make you cringe. The recount of sexual incidents during her childhood and adolescence is melancholy and at times very disturbing. As she continues on through high school and college, making the same mistakes over and over, the story becomes downright agonizing. The last section reads like day turning from afternoon to dusk, or perhaps late night becoming dawn. Every chapter holds new truths. She answers questions that can't be answered--questions about why we are the way we are, what it means to love and be loved. There is a part where she realizes "Not being able to live without someone is not love. It's need." Quotes like this make the book unforgettable.

In the process of writing and publishing her memoir, Cohen has taken a lot of unwarranted criticism. She's been called an attention-whore and a slut. But the truth is, Loose Girl isn't really about any of that. It's about identity. Kerry's sexual promiscuity could have been anything. It could have been alcohol, drugs, religion, or whatever else people let get in their way of creating their art and their life. Kerry's favorite quote is by Mary Oliver: "Tell me, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?" In telling her chaotic story, she's not begging for attention to her life, she's helping us figure out ours. The writing truly touches on all fronts, it would be a huge mistake to assume otherwise.

This is a life-changing memoir that you'll want to read over and over. Here's to hoping Kerry Cohen will ignore the critics and keep up her incredible writing.

66 of 76 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Journey to REAL Intimacy? Not!, June 19, 2008

By 

Char "Cheeky Pink Girl" (Wisconsin, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity (Hardcover)

To be honest, I also could not put this book down once I started reading it. From a purely user-friendly perspective, it's a simple, quick read. No sophistication here at all, and in this case, it's a good thing so that one really absorbs the story. Also, I too, like so many others who have already read this book, can identify in a very personal way with Kerry's experiences...the degradation, denial, and self-loathing that comes from desperately trying to find love and feel loved at any cost. This "theme" is nothing new to most women who grew up in a post-Watergate or Generation X time period, whether experienced first-hand or through movies and literature of the time.

HOWEVER, to describe this book as a story of "finding her way toward real intimacy" (from the front cover flap) and "a model for recovery and real love" (review on back flap cover) is to totally mislead. Nothing could be further from the truth! Kerry is still sleeping with nameless, faceless men right up until the end, when she meets her husband-to-be, Michael. Who she then is engaged to within a period of 8 months. THIS is recovery? I don't think so. In fact, on Kerry's website, she states that she still struggles with some of the indentfied issues in the book.

I'm not trying to knock Cohen down as an author or a person. However, saying that you've been healed/recovered simply because you finally got married is akin to saying that you've conquered alcoholism simply because you stopped physically drinking alcohol. But there's more to it (anyone hear of a "dry drunk"?) and we all know it. The likely truth is that Kerry has been healed by the actual WRITING of this book, and good for her. But if anyone thinks this book offers any insight as to how she decided to stop sleeping with every guy she encountered, forget it. It's not there. Choose to enjoy this book only as a launch-point in thinking about and analyzing your own similar experiences.

29 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A Solid Entry in The Addiction Biography Genre, June 23, 2008

By 

Geoffrey Kleinman (Portland, OR USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity (Hardcover)

Loose Girl is a well focused look at one woman's journey through insecurity, dysfunction and unhappiness. It reads a lot like many other 'addiction' books but since the 'addiction' it covers is sex, the highs and lows are a lot less extreme. Author Kerry Cohen does a good job of drawing the reader in and
creating a very vivid and engaging world. Her writing is clear, flowing and polished. I found myself zipping through the book fully engaged with Cohen's journey. My biggest gripe is that the book has almost no third act. Cohen's story has a very distinct beginning, middle, but a very soft end. I felt there was more book in Cohen and she stopped short of where the story could have taken her. The writer's Bio indicates that Cohen is now married with children, but the book never really ventures into how her past has shaped her present or now how reflecting on all this has impacted her as she moves forward. Even with a less than full ending, I still did like Loose Girl, it's well written, engaging and worth reading especially for fans of the genre.