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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Top notch book about parenting teens with less stress, January 11, 2009
This review is from: Losing Control and Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free (Paperback)
Losing Control and Liking It by Tim Sanford is one of the best parenting books I've ever read. I'm always looking for ways to improve my parenting, especially of my two teens, and Sanford has an original and terrific view of raising teens. As the mother of two teenagers, I know that I am often tempted to crack down on them and put more controls in their lives, but that seems to backfire in my face. More often I have a bit of a laissez faire attitude, and that seems to keep everyone happy, except for some other parents who have been less than kind in their comments about my parenting. Sanford affirms that it's vital to allow teens a certain amount of freedom as they age because otherwise they will rebel and act out if the control is too tight. At the same time, it's important to keep some rules in their lives so they feel safe and loved. Sanford takes this delicate balance and maps it out for parents in an easy to live with way. He wants parenting to be less stressful and more fulfilling for both parents and their kids. He suggests setting a maximum of five rules for the house with clear consequences. Parents should offer more advice and suggestions to teens than rules and attempts to control. I loved this book. Sanford has an easy-going writing style and lots of anecdotes to back up his views. Most importantly, he lets parents know that it's not our job to make our kids turn out "right." That's their decision to make, not ours to force.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
MUST have book on parenting for all parents of teenagers..., September 26, 2009
This review is from: Losing Control and Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free (Paperback)
As the parents of four goal-oriented, strong, spirited young adults, one who is now 23, one who, most sadly, died this summer at the age of 20, one who is 19, and one who is almost 18, this is the best book we have ever found on parenting through the times when teenagers are pushing limits as they figure out who they are and what they believe...for themselves. For those readers who follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, you will find great encouragement to trust the One who truly loves your young adult far more than you do, which will free you up to simply love your child and nurture a great relationship with them, rather than trying to control their behavior.
We have found so much of what Tim Sanford teaches to be true, and yet we find ourselves going back to this book again and again for reminders and encouragement when we are tempted to "clamp down" out of fear, when really we should be trusting not only our God, but the process that will occur naturally as all that we have taught and modeled over the year comes together with the God's current work in the life of our incredibly insightful, thoughtful, opinionated 17 year old.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book to pass on to friends, or use in bible study discussion, December 21, 2010
This review is from: Losing Control and Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free (Paperback)
We have a new bible study where each parent simply wants to be an excellent resource of God's love to their teenage children. The straight-forward, easy to apply concepts of this book, of releasing our kids into God's care, is so simple - it's a challenge. The beauty was the discussion of this small book because we realize we are not alone in this struggle of wanting to "control" our kids, thinking that we really are. Great conversation and allignment with other parents in this journey, while truly discovering the Creator, God of the universe who gave us "free choice" in the Garden - knowing He'd have to send His Son to the cross to die for that problem. Puts a whole new spin on God's heart to me/us, and what I want my heart to be for my kiddos.
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