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Losing the Hate [Kindle Edition]

Simon Palmer
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Losing The Hate is a powerful memoir of child abuse, from the point of view of the victim.

This book is a painful reminder that there are people in the world who should not be trusted, some of them even in positions which they should not be allowed to be in. It had me reading on while at the same time hoping that the inevitable wasn't going to happen.

It seems that the author is not writing to gain any sort of sympathy; on the contrary, he even questions whether his less-than-perfect behaviour as an adult can be attributed to his treatment as a child. The book is, however, a powerful lesson to readers, that you can never be certain about people, and you should always be on your guard.

I used to work in the council offices, where I read reports about children treated in ways similar to how this author was treated. These children who have had reports written and cases discussed, have had someone to talk to about all of these events. This memoir, on the other hand, feels like the author is telling you personally about his experiences. It's a raw and frank tale, and one that left me feeling incredibly sad, and more than little angry.

From a reader's point of view, the book is hard to read as far as the subject matter is concerned and yet I was unable to stop reading. The writing is incredibly good, with detailed descriptions of some very personal and terrifying events. The book also contains poetry that shows so much emotion it could only have been written by someone in such a situation.

The author repeatedly states that he regrets that the perpetrators of the events in the book may have been able to shatter other young lives. By writing this book, it is possible that he will raise awareness of situations that some may not even imagine possible, and prevent cases like this happening in the future.

I have no idea how the author managed to write all of these experiences out, but I sincerely hope that it has helped him in some way.


Editorial Reviews


"Hard hitting, jaw-dropping, and honest" - BBC Radio
Shana Hammaker "Shana" (Shana) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Losing the Hate (Kindle Edition)
I want to say right off the bat that I'm a survivor of sex abuse myself.

So when I saw this book I was immediately interested, but hesitant. I thought about buying it for several months before I took the plunge.
As difficult as it can be for non-survivors to read these kinds of stories, it's worse for those with a similar history.

But I'm SO glad I read it. Simon Palmer's voice and engaging writing style makes it easier to accompany him on his journey back into the most painful moments of his life. And by broaching this oft-ignored subject, he does all of us a service.

Bravo, Mr. Palmer.

From the Back Cover

In his book, Losing the Hate, Simon Palmer has combined his mastery of storytelling with a raw hard look at the issues one faces as a result of child sexual abuse. It is an honest attempt to shed light on the darkest of subject matters. 
Simon has offered up his experiences in bone chilling detail, giving the reader a first hand account of his journey from innocence to depravity. His downward spiral is both shocking and heart wrenching, but most of all it is honest. 
Losing the Hate has been rightfully described as "jaw-dropping." It is brutally raw, and yet, despite the atrocious circumstances, the author manages to mesmerize his readers with a delicate hand and a bountifully open heart. 

In Simon's own words, "I have lived within this dark cloud for most of my life, with many complex issues still unresolved. There is a feeling of complete and utter loneliness within me, and, in desperation to rid my world of darkness, I have chosen to put my story into words . . . telling the world of my nightmare."

Product Details

  • File Size: 276 KB
  • Print Length: 186 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1456550039
  • Publisher:; Revised edition (November 13, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004BDOV0M
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #294,589 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Harrowing but compulsively readable June 9, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
In Losing The Hate, Simon Palmer has done something remarkable. He's taken a harrowing, disturbing subject (the story of his abuse as a young child) and made it compulsively readable. He does this with a clear, engaging writing style that takes you back in time, sticks you straight in the middle of the story and allows you a glimpse of what was going on inside his head.

By presenting the material in a straight-forward, lucid manner, he maximizes the impact without getting too graphic. The personal insights scattered throughout the book are of particular notice; by helping explain what he was thinking when these atrocities were occurring, it allows you to see things from his point of view, helping you understand what allowed this terrible situation to proceed in the manner in which it did and garnering quite a bit of empathy for others who may find themselves in the same situation. Hopefully, after reading this book, you will have a clear understanding of how these terrible things can happen, and more importantly, a clear understanding of how to keep them from happening in the future.

The bottom line: Simon Palmer has written an important, meaningful book. He is clearly writing directly from the heart and what he has to say will break yours. The guts it took to put this all down on paper is remarkable and his self-analysis pulls no punches. Throughout the course of the book, he shows a clear awareness of his issues and what needs to be done to counteract them; here's hoping that telling his story to the world will help him sort through them.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Value For Money January 6, 2011
By tobias
Format:Kindle Edition
Losing The Hate is a moving and inspiring account of Simon Palmer's childhood experience of being sexually defiled by a responsible trusted adult - a schoolteacher. I know this because it was show-cased on the publisher Harper Collins open site - Authonomy - for almost a year and was widely favourably Commented upon by numerous authors. Anyone who has experienced similar forms of abuse Simon describes and suffered its consequences - as he has - will find the book revealing and inspirational. It will be greatly appreciated by professional counsellors engaged in the recovery of victims of sexual abuse. I have no hesitation in recommending to as wide a readership as possible.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Losing the Hate by Simon Palmer is a devastatingly painful account of sexual abuse, told in memoir fashion by one who experienced it. Simon Palmer does a superb job of putting the reader into the mind of his child self as he is inextricably sucked into the worlds of child pornography and sexual abuse by a combination of a teacher and a perverted couple. What is most horrific to read is not, however, the graphic description of the abuse, but rather the child Simon's keen knowledge of what is coming, how repellent it is to him, and how he is unable to extricate himself from the events. Children sometimes do not understand what is normal and abnormal in the adult world, and taking advantage of that vulnerability, the first of a series of sexual predators lures in young Simon using calculating lures, and then makes the child feel ashamed and guilty so that he cannot report it nor can he avoid being irrationally drawn further into more of the same. The psychological turmoil that results from this initial abuse causes Simon to destroy his relationships and find more and more ways to act out in society. As a teacher who has worked with emotionally disturbed children in the past, I can easily contemplate and relate to the antisocial, vulgar, and violent person the author describes when reflecting upon himself, and I can feel compassion for the young man's plight. A young person who reads Losing the Hate may find in it the strength to fight back against sexual abuse, may realize that "if he had said something, it might have ended, and maybe if I say something, I can make it stop." This is Palmer's avowed reason for writing this book, and I think he has been both brave and noble. His writing should find an audience; it deserves a chance to help others. Read more ›
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A soul-wrenching and very important read. May 10, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Soul-wrenching, and despite the unsettling content that brought my skin shuddering with every page, this work is interjected with some equally unsettling poems as beautiful as they are terrifying. Huge respect to Simon Palmer for putting pen to paper and creating an important book for those suffering the destructive force of child abuse.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Summary: Not until Simon Palmer is 41 years old does he decide to tell the world of the dark secrets that molded his life. When he was 10, a trusted and respected teacher asked Simon's parents if he could photograph their son for pictures that would be displayed at a upcoming parent-teacher's night. The private photo shoot, however, turns dark when Simon obeys the male teacher and removes his clothing. Simon tells no one of his shameful secret that continues not only with the teacher, but leads to other inappropriate sexual encounters. The abuse is carried forward when Mr. Palmer physically and mentally abuses his wife and anyone else who tries to care about him. A life of self-loathing, fear to trust anyone, hatred for those who abused him, Simon Palmer's life continues to catapult until he finds himself inside the dark isolated world of hardcore drugs and alcohol.

Reaction: A small book written with a heavy heart, Losing the Hate suffers from the same grammatical pitfalls of many e-published books. I chose, however, to review the gut-level, emotional trauma that made Simon Palmer's book haunt me. If only to read the poignant meaningful poetry that weaves in and out of Losing the Hate, the book is well worth the experience. Simon Palmer's words will `rock' every parent's world as they begin to question if their own children have secrets too dark, too shameful to share. There were times I questioned why Mr. Palmer's parents didn't realize something evil was happening to their son as they watched Simon's personality quickly change from compliant to hateful; content to angry. In all fairness, however, as parents we are told that our children will go through stages and they will eventually grow out of it. For Simon Palmer, however, it took 30 years to confront his demons.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Different...
... from what I expected to read about. Sounds like the writer just needed to tell his story. Well written, but I don't like how he never got himself help, not during or after the... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Ekaterini
5.0 out of 5 stars An emotionally brutal account of the abuse Simon suffered as a child.
This is Simon's own story - in his own words - of the horrific abuse he suffered from the age of ten, and the consequences it had on his life. Read more
Published 5 months ago by wistfulskimmie - Wistfulskimmies Book Reviews Blog
4.0 out of 5 stars It must have taken a lot of soul searching to write this....
Not easy to read from an emotional point of view. The pedophile Mr Ropeman would have picked Simon because he knew he would be less likely to say anything due to Simons personal... Read more
Published on February 25, 2012 by Cheryl M-M
5.0 out of 5 stars A courageous autobiography.
How do you review a book like this? Upon what do you base your critique? It's a true story after all not something someone's dreamed up. Read more
Published on September 13, 2011 by Stuart Walker
5.0 out of 5 stars Learning from the Abuse
Losing the Hate is a story of sexual abuse, self-hate, and a road to recovery. It kept me on edge praying his abusers would be caught and made me really sad for the life he lead... Read more
Published on August 23, 2011 by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Read This Through My Tears
I want to say right off the bat that I'm a survivor of sex abuse myself.

So when I saw this book I was immediately interested, but hesitant. Read more
Published on August 13, 2011 by Shana Hammaker
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Harrowing.
Let me start off by warning you that this is an extremely harrowing and heavy going book. That being said it is also a tale of survival. Read more
Published on June 26, 2011 by Kevin Tomsett
5.0 out of 5 stars I Would Read This Again
Losing the Hate is a story of sexual abuse, self-hate, and a road to recovery. It kept me on edge praying his abusers would be caught and made me really sad for the life he lead... Read more
Published on June 5, 2011 by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars A hard to read book
Simon Palmer wrote a memoir, and it was the hardest book for me to read. Not only he was abused as a child, becoming a sex slave to a couple, was exposed to child pornography, to... Read more
Published on May 20, 2011 by Lola
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More About the Author

Simon Palmer wrote his first book, Losing the Hate, over a seven year period. it is an honest account of the child abuse he suffered as a child, and of how the abuse affected his adult life.

Losing the Hate, has been described by BBC Radio as, "Honest, jaw-dropping, and raw."

Simon appeared on radio to be interviewed about his life, where he openly spoke of his subsequent jouney into drugs and binge drinking.

Since the book was released in early November of 2010, with the paperback hitting the shelves in July 2011, Simon has been writing with fellow Author and friend, Claudia B. Modie, (The Hybrid series).

Their first joint novel, Bingo, was released on 28\11\2011

Simon and Claudia are currently working on, "Full House"; the sequal to "Bingo."

Claudia B. Modie was born in Cologne, Germany. Her stepfather served in the United States Air Force and her family traveled extensively.
After majoring in Written Communications for two years at Golden West College in Huntington Beach, California, Claudia relocated and continued her studies at the University of Montana-Billings, where she graduated in 1995 with a Bachelor's Degree in Organizational Communications.

Claudia's fascination with Ancient Astronaut Theory was the catalyst which prompted the writing of the Hybrid Saga.

At present, she is self-employed and lives in Janesville, Wisconsin with Robert, the youngest of her three sons.

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