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Losing Malcolm: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief [Hardcover]

Carol Henderson (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 1, 2001 1578063396 978-1578063390 1

One autumn morning Carol Henderson was a new mother recovering in the hospital and cradling a baby the doctor declared perfect. Within days of delivery, the new mother's peaceful world disintegrated into a nightmare of hospitals, tubes, EKG's, and operations. Her baby had a serious heart murmur.

Losing Malcolm is a frank and compelling narrative about a naive mother whose carefully constructed life unravels when her infant son dies. Before her son's devastating illness, the author had little experience with the realities of disease and death. After dealing with doctors and living around the clock in the hospital, Henderson, a hypochondriac who feared all things medical, becomes an informed and tenacious advocate for her child. After a free-fall plunge to the depths of her grief, she resurfaces with a newfound sense of self, a deep empathy for others, and a poignant awareness that enduring grief eventually takes its place in the broader tapestry of life.

Interweaving dreams and journal entries, this highly original memoir offers an evocative chronicle of emotional devastation and recovery. Henderson's account also reveals the differing ways in which she and her husband responded to their child's death and the ways in which loss transformed them. With wit and caring, she also deals with the taboos that exist in the way society-grandparents, friends, and neighbors-deal with death.

This spare, honest narrative resonates with universal themes. It will appeal to those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, those who know someone who is suffering, and those who are interested in reading about the tragedies and triumphs of others.

Praise for Losing Malcolm:

"A spell-binding, uplifting story that reads like a novel. I couldn't put it down."

- Lee Smith, author of Fair and Tender Ladies

"In this powerful and moving memoir, Carol Henderson grows from innocence, through harrowing grief, to the deep knowledge that darkness is crucial to a sense of the fullness of life."

- Annie Dillard, author of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

"The lessons in Henderson's beautifully written book are manifold. Not only will the book help teach other parents how to survive, it will also educate health care professionals about how to be of meaningful service to those who are grieving. And there are powerful lessons here about the inadequacies of a health care system that, unfortunately, has still not changed enough."

- Phyllis Silverman, author of Never Too Young to Know: Death in Children's Lives

Carol Henderson has been a freelance journalist since 1985. Her work has been published in such periodicals as Utne Reader, The Oxford American, Woman's Day, The Chapel Hill News, Attache, and Kidsville. She lives in Chapel Hill, N.C.


Frequently Bought Together

Customers buy this book with Loving and Letting Go: For Parents Who Decided to Turn Away from Aggressive Medical Intervention for Their Critically Ill Newborns $6.95

Losing Malcolm: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief + Loving and Letting Go: For Parents Who Decided to Turn Away from Aggressive Medical Intervention for Their Critically Ill Newborns

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Three days after the birth of Henderson's son Malcolm who was initially pronounced "perfect" the boy was diagnosed with a serious heart murmur. In precise and intimate prose, Henderson describes every parent's nightmare: she and her husband, Bill, seesawed between hope and fear about their son's condition. More optimistic than his wife, Bill tried to reassure her that everything would be all right once surgery was performed on Malcolm. The infant's heart was successfully repaired and the two parents were celebrating a "miracle" when their baby's condition again deteriorated. Malcolm died during a second emergency surgery. Based on a journal she kept, the author, a freelance journalist, details the death of her newborn son and the ensuing period of grieving in this exceptionally moving, sometimes painful memoir. Henderson skillfully conveys the atmosphere of the hospital where other parents of critically ill infants waited for news and supported one another. For many months after Malcolm's death, Henderson was unable to resume any semblance of normal life, although Bill managed to return to work. She finally saw a therapist who helped her accept her son's death and put her in touch with two other women who had suffered the loss of their infants. Today, Henderson is the mother of two daughters. Her honest and harrowing account about her son's untimely death will resonate with anyone who has endured such bereavement.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

A memoir about a mother's grief for a newborn son who dies of a heart murmur is painful reading, and yet Henderson's first book is difficult to put down. Distressing emotions saturate the elements of drama that carry the reader through the larger story, but hope endures with each turn of the page. Henderson's compact and carefully selected words create poignant, vivid, and full images that stay with the reader long afterward. Along with her expression of intense grief, most readers will relate to Henderson's accompanying feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Although this is a personal story, it contains many truths and practical realities that will speak to anyone who has lost or may lose a child and to anyone involved in the life of a grieving mother. Henderson is a freelance journalist whose work has appeared in the Utne Reader and other publications. Beth Powning's Shadow Child (LJ 12/99), which takes place in a rural setting, offers another account of this nature. Recommended for all libraries. Annette Haines, Central Michigan Univ. Libs., Mt. Pleasant
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 245 pages
  • Publisher: University Press of Mississippi; 1 edition (March 1, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1578063396
  • ISBN-13: 978-1578063390
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,563,039 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Death, Grief, and Redemption, July 17, 2001
By 
Richard Grossman (Brookline, MA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Losing Malcolm: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief (Hardcover)
Losing Malcolm is a moving, first-hand account of unbearable loss and grief-and the growth that ultimately results from it. Carol Henderson struggles with the alienation that naturally occurs following such tragedies (only women who have lost babies can truly understand the experience), exacerbated by her temperamental/ familial or, as she describes it,"WASPy" tendency to withdraw in the face of emotional pain so as not to put anyone out. (She learns to cope this way early in life: her mother suggests the same solution to all emotional pain --- lie down and get some rest.) Ultimately, the author discovers real answers that lead to healing: find a community of women that has experienced the same loss, seek out a loving therapist who absolutely understands what she is going through, and, somehow, garner the courage to have another child. Through her painful odyssey, Henderson finds meaning and redemption in Malcolm's short life. This is a helpful book for both professional healers and family and friends of bereaved parents.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Losing Malcolm, May 16, 2001
By 
Dana Keeler (New York City, NY, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Losing Malcolm: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief (Hardcover)
This is a beautiful book about a very difficult subject, grief. I finished the book within 24 hours of having bought it. It is not just about the death of a child but about how we are transformed by such tragedies. Henderson's life is deepened and matured by this profound experience and reading her book I felt I had changed too.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing!, May 1, 2001
By 
Jerram (Salt Lake City, United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Losing Malcolm: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief (Hardcover)
Normally I would NEVER read a book that cuts so close to the bone as this one - but my wife LOVED it and I thought the change would so me good. I was a soggy mess by the time I finished it - people were trying to sit far away from me on the plane - but I emerged, I would say, ACTUALLY A BETTER PERSON for having read it. Brava, Carol. My heart goes out to you.
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