Customer Reviews

Losing the Way: A Memoir of Spiritual Longing, Manipulation, Abuse, and Escape

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As a long time follower of The Way, Way Corps grad, and Wow ambassador during the same period the author was involved, this was a difficult read for me. The Way was responsible in part for my divorce, financial issues, and a mistrust of religious organizations that exists to this day. At first skeptical of the style and personal perspective the book is written from, I began slowly experiencing my own deja vu, as I was present at many of the locations, meetings, classes, even conversations, and knew many of the people who's names have been changed to protect the guilty. While I understand the logic behind the deletion of real names, I would posture, hasn't enough been hidden from view? Kristen puts many pieces together and helps by personal experience rather than preaching, dissecting, or explaining, the long lasting effects The Way has had on so many. It brings a degree of sorrow and regret for my time defending such blatant evil on the part of Wierwille, who used me for his own purposes that had little to do with God, reality, honesty, or healing. Perhaps acceptance and closure is the authors greatest gift to those still realing after 30 years of unanswered questions. How could a God who loves me allow so many to be so hurt? The greatest contribution of her efforts may be closure, and enabling others to trust again. Thank you Kristen, for your courage.

I could not put the book down once I started it. I've passed it on to a few friends and they are equally blown away with the quality of the writing and experiencing the first person account as if they were there with Kris. This is a very moving book.

Kristen Skedgell begins her work with a caution from the New Testament Gospel of John, "Little, children keep yourselves from idols, Amen" and then provides a demonstration of the wisdom of such an admonishment through her own personal and perplexing story.

It's a difficult story that she tells. The book provides an alarming example of the attraction and danger of cults and cult leaders. It is also a poignant narration of the insecurities and rebellion of adolescence, family alcoholism, the human need for inclusion, as well as a telling example of objectification of women. She writes in the present tense and in that voice she engages the reader each step of a painful and evocative journey. This is an amazing book.

I was in the same Way Corps as Kris. I too knew of many of the times and places she writes of. Her book struck such a chord that I read it in one sitting, up past midnight (with work the next day). I couldn't sleep what with all the memories and feelings it brought back. Yet it was a healing experience to read this book. I cried at the end.

Thank you, Kris.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who was in The Way and also to anyone who's been in any cult.

A deftly written and reader engaging story of how the daughter of East Coast intellectuals came to be recruited into joining an established and fanatical religious cult calling itself 'The Way International', Kristen Skedgell's "Losing The Way" is a very chilling and candid account of how she was emotionally manipulated, her trust betrayed, and how she was abused and exploited spiritually and otherwise, before being rescued by her own mother whom Kristen had previously rejected. Readers will learn from a real life example of just how easily any young, idealistic, and naive person can be deceived and caught up into a calculated spiritual con game by an unscrupulous, malevolent, yet charismatic leader. Informed and informative, "Losing The Way" is a personal and highly recommended memoir that underscores that ancient Biblical warning against false prophets -- even in this modern age.

Kristen Skedgell has written a powerful account of what it is like to be so completely caught up in a cult that even domestic violence is considered acceptable or "only what I deserve". She was sexually exploited by the leader of the Way and by other men in the group, and Skedgell shows how her passivity in the face of this hypocrisy was in part a result of her upbringing in the household of an alcoholic father. But it was not only that; it was also the mental lockdown a cult creates in the mind of a follower, so that he or she thinks that to leave the cult would be worse than death, and suddenly death by suicide seems like it might be an acceptable choice rather than facing the overwhelming fear of leaving. As a former cult follower (of the Reverend Moon's Unification Church, or "Moonies"), I experienced many of the same emotions when it came time for me to leave. These emotions explain why it takes so long for a cult follower to leave, and why he or she continues to be affected for many years thereafter. This is a marvellous story of survival and renewal and the author should be commended for her honesty and fortitude.

I think this is an excellent book for anyone to read as it is interesting and honest. This book would especially help someone who has been involved with a cult or who is currently involved with a cult and wanting to get out. I could not stop reading it until I was finished.

It was especially interesting for me to read a review here that claims that the book is not truthful. Anyone who read the book and spent any length of time at all in the Way (I was there from 1976-1987)knows that in "Way World" many people would have their own account of similar truthful events. Also, it did not take 27 years for her to remember the things that happened....it took 27 years to write it down and put it in book form so it could be read.

Finally, to label something as fiction is easy anyone can SAY that. However, I personally know that Kris was not the only person to go through similar events described in her book. Many current and former Way believers simply like to deny that many of these things did not happen in the Way. However, many of us who were in the Way (especially from 1970-1990) for a number of years know they did happen. If you want good fiction read the Lord of The Rings.

To remain steadfast and faithful in the relative comfort and security of a mainline denomination is one thing.... to remain steadfast and faithful in the wild, wild West of a Christian cult called The Way International was another thing altogether. Despite a terrible personal price, Ms. Skedgell heroically continued to witness to the gospel of Christ's love in the context of an abusive, manipulative, exploitive organization. That she survived, to write this memoir and to continue her faithful service in better circumstances is a gift to all of us.

I was involved with the Way for 28 years, exiting in 2005. I also was involved with the Way Corps in the late 70's and early 80's.

It was hard for me to accept that such abuses took place in an organization I had supported whole heartedly, which involved people I loved as family. My last years in and since leaving The Way I've read broadly, communicated at length with ex-followers of The Way and other high-control groups, and pondered deeply regarding various accusations and accounts regarding The Way. The evidence and history of religious (and other) abuses in The Way is overwhelming for anyone who takes the time to research thoroughly, ask questions, and weigh the history.

Kristin's book (written not just from memory, but also from journal entries) is one that takes courage to expose. Anyone who studies emotional and other abuses, humans as social groups, and techniques of thought reform can follow the outline through Kristin's experiences.

I continue to process and come to terms with my own experiences in The Way. Some of those were wonderful and some had consequences that detrimentally affected me for decades. Kristin's book helped me to open up more about my own involvement in my account regarding the journey.

I will do something very self-serving: compare this memoir to my own, "Our Father, who art in bed, a Naive and Sentimental Dubliner in the Legion of Christ."
Kristen describes her experience with a far out Christian group; mine was with an approved Catholic religious Order proclaiming Orthodoxy to American conservative Catholics.
Kristen was sexually abused by the leader; I was abused in many ways but not sexually -others were, by the pedophile priest leader, once described as an efficacious leader of youth by Pope John Paul II and later censored by the Vatican in 2006 because of accusations re him abusing his seminarians.
Kristen's book is exceptionally well written and engaging; mine is in a different and less professional way. She begins every chapter with a short mind opening dialogue; I quote Siddhartha. Hers is as much a thriller as a memoir.
She changes the names; I dont. I accuse and applaud, but do not lose my head.
Kristen found a publisher; I self published with booksurge, a division of Amazon.
Our family backgrounds are different: I grew up in a relatively happy, if strict, traditional Irish Catholic home in Dublin, Ireland
I was not trying to break or stretch rules when I joined; I wanted to be a missionary priest for Latin America.
Neither of us had much idea about what we were getting ourselves into and where the path would lead.
We are not black and white thinkers, and she takes responsibility for going along with the farce without knowing it and because it had its perks.
I never became "good friends" with the charismatic founder as she did; but I admired, revered and respected him for years until I gradually became disenchanted and challenged him.
I believe Losing the Way is a great title, and the book is an important read for anyone who has belonged to or has friends or family involved with a Cult-like or High Demand Group, no matter the religion or ideology. The problem is not the content or belief; it is the method or methods used to recruit, fundraise, and retain members.
Both Kristen and I consider International Cultic Studies Association a beacon of light in the darkness of deceit, amid appearences of holiness and personal or world transforming causes. I chant my mantra frequently when people ask me about the Legion of Christ and its Regnum Christ lay movement: "It's a Cult, it's a Cult, it's a Cult!"
Many happy sales, Kristen!