Loss and Found: How We Survived the Loss of a Young Spouse [Paperback]

Gary Young (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 20, 2001

From coping with the emotional aftermath to navigating parental, social and financial challenges, Loss and Found gives detailed, honest, sad, funny, and uplifting insight into the distinctive problems of loss from both the male and female point of view, giving hope to millions that they can survive a devastating loss, and that they are not alone.

Filling the void in the support, Loss and Found helps people overcome the devastation of losing a young partner. This is a must-read for ANYONE dealing with grief, as well as their families, friends, counselors, clergy, and more.

Nationally prominent authors, seminar leaders, and Grief and Loss Support leaders, Gary and Kathy Young present the ideas in clear language, appropriate for any age.

Book comes with free workbook and free subscription to eNewsletter.

Some of the endorsements include: SURVIVORS OF 911, NYPD, FDNY, Fire Fighters of Los Angeles, LAPD, Los Angeles Mayor s Office, Parents without Partners , Our House, Glendale Baptist , Jewish Federation, Hospice Foundation of America, Connie Sellecca, AARP Grief and Loss Program, Skirball Museum of Los Angeles, Kaiser Permanente TAG Program, Stephen S. Weiss Synagogue, Motherless Daughters, National Self-Help Clearinghouse, Bereavement Magazine, RENEW Center for Personal Recovery, Big Brothers of Los Angeles, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS, Inc. - Support for the armed forces)

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book would be useful as a resource in a bereavement class. I normally hesitate to recommend a book to someone who is close to a significant loss, but this is not so much a how to book as it is a work of hope. It says, even with what might appear to be an insurmountable obstacle, you have the ability to heal yourself. The healing process may be easier and quicker if you utilize resources available to you. --The Thanatology Newsletter

A must-read for anyone experiencing loss. I've interviewed over 250 authors on my PBS series. I was astonished by the distinctive voice of experience in this breakthrough book. Gary and Kathy s wit, wisdom, passion, and insight guide us through a warm and lighthearted journey into love, loss, remorse, then to new love, in a self-help guide to millions of young people facing loss. The light of hope illuminates the tragedy of loss, even finding humor in the recesses of depression." --Barry Kibrick, BETWEEN THE LINES, PBS

Loss and Found is the heart-wrenching story of two people who had children and families but lost their spouse. Each tells the story of their early life, marriage, family, and the story of discovering the illness and working through that, eventually losing the battle. They detail their struggles with the children, finances, friends, feelings of loss, and the other emotional roller coaster feelings. They tell their experiences with young widowhood and their introduction back into dating. This is Gary and Kathy survived the loss of their spouses at a young age and eventually found each other. Told from both the male and female perspectives and full of insight, it is sure to be helpful to anyone experiencing loss and looking for hope. Of particular value are the items in Appendix A. It includes the changes and fears that a young widow/widower faces and the thoughts/problems that they have to deal with. It provides a great point of reference for those who would like to help someone experiencing the situation. A highly recommended read for anyone experiencing such a loss, who knows someone going through it, or who might be in a position to counsel someone with such a loss. There is very little literature available specifically for young widows/widowers and this is among the best. --Harold McFarland-Reader s Preference, Amazon Top 50

From the Publisher

This is the first of four books in the group of support books for young widowhood. This book traces a man and a woman on their journey through widowhood. The following books will be compilations of several young widows and widowers, compiled and written by Kathy and Gary Young, including: 1. Between the Tears: The journey between tears of sorrow and tears of joy - 16 young widows and widowers, in their own words

2. The Next Spouse: Competing and living with a memory. 3. When a Child Loses a Parent: Monumental loss of the small. Stories, diary entries, artwork, quotes from children ages 3-21.

Other books soon to be published by Calabash Press:

Humor: 1001 or less Golf awards, citations, testimonials and other put-downs, by George Baulch

Fiction: Slingshot : madness beyond the constraints of time... By Gary Young

Pictorial: Beneath: The beauty and mystery beneath the seas, by Alan Kopp

Play: Interruptions, by Gary Young

Short Stories: Dawn on Cephys, and others, by Gary Young

CHILDREN’S BOOKS by KATHY YOUNG:The Weasel Who Caught the Measles, Brandon Bonwert Learns to Believe in Himself, The Nine Lives of Cozy Cat, Everything was Spoiled Milk

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Calabash Press; 1st edition (October 20, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0971509204
• ISBN-13: 978-0971509207
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,809,088 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hope, direction, help, this is it for young widows/widowers, December 24, 2002

By 

Harold McFarland (Florida) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Loss and Found: How We Survived the Loss of a Young Spouse (Paperback)

"Loss and Found" is the heart-wrenching story of two people who had children and families, but lost their spouse. Each tells the story of their early life, marriage, family experiences, and children. Each also tells the story of finding out that their spouse was sick, working through the sickness, and eventually losing them anyway. The stories detail their struggles with the children, problems with finances, friends, feelings of loss, and all the other feelings on their emotional roller coaster ride. They tell their experiences as a young widow/widower and their introduction back into dating. After several false starts and problems in the dating scene they eventually found each other. This is their story, the story of Gary and Kathy Young and how they survived the loss of their spouses at a young age and eventually found each other.

Told from both the male and female perspectives and full of insight, it is sure to be helpful to anyone experiencing loss and looking for hope. Of particular value to those going through a similar loss are the items in Appendix A. It includes the changes and fears that a young widow/widower faces as well as the thoughts and problems that they have to deal with. It provides a great point of reference for those who would like to help someone experiencing the situation. A highly recommended read for anyone experiencing such a loss, who knows someone going through it, or who might be placed in a position to counsel or deal with someone with such a loss. There is very little literature available specifically for young widows/widowers and this is among the best.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Everyones worst nightmare has happy ending in this book, January 21, 2003

By 

Beverly K. Eakman (Kensington, MD, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Loss and Found: How We Survived the Loss of a Young Spouse (Paperback)

Increasingly, Baby Boomers find they "don't get no respect." Often referred to as "the Me Generation," Boomers typically are characterized as the folks who launched the sexual revolution, trashed the culture and the family. But authors Gary and Kathy Young - straight out of Hollywood, no less - have inadvertently put the lie to this popular portrayal.

Anyone still harboring wistful thoughts about things like picket fences and romantic love will find much with which to identify in the couple's fascinating new book, Loss and Found. This true story revolves around, first, the agonizing death of two young people's former spouses from aggressive cancers, followed by the unexpected, exquisite excitement of finding each other in, of all places, a widow/widower support group. In the process of being drawn into this tantalizing cross between your worst nightmare and a romantic comedy, the reader learns a lot about not-so-attractive realities surrounding today's health care as well as the business of picking up the pieces of life and moving on. These are not the kinds of realities typically found among the self-help shelves of your bookstore.

Loss and Found is no 1950s-era soppy tale of "love lost and love found"; nor is it the smiley-faced, Pollyanna stereotype of Doris Day-Rock Hudson vintage. Mental health practitioners will be astonished to find a "survival guide," as the book is advertised, that manages to be funny, sexy, heart-wrenching and provocative - all at the same time. What readers will find is a fast-moving and, most of all, upbeat account about falling head-over-heels in love just when you thought they were, uh, beaten.

Upon examination, there's much to debate in Loss and Found for various and sundry experts out there who might be so inclined - the dubious ethics of advanced medicine; the insensitivity of law enforcement, social services workers, and credit agencies; the pressures of modern society to become sexually promiscuous; the dearth of help available to young widows and widowers; not to mention the success of an insurance racket in disassociating "health" from "care."

But authors Gary and Kathy Young leave any conclusions about such things to others and do not fixate on such questions. The surprise for most readers is that the two owe their self-renewal to their implicit determination to locate new spouses, not merely new "relationships." The intricacies involved in establishing such a bond after a 20-something hiatus from the dating scene - and in a new culture that seems to have turned its back on commitment - fortunately turns out more humorous than aggravating for the reader. One would have imagined, after all, that proximity to the nesting place of fare like "Ally McBeal" and "Sex and the City" would at the very least have prepared the authors for altered views about "singlehood." But Loss and Found is a hit precisely because it provides character insights that readers won't find in People Magazine or TV's Entertainment Tonight. Merely rubbing elbows with Hollywood's elite doesn't make the world depicted there real. Musical mates are not for everybody.

Perhaps what's so endearing about the book is that, in following their story, we discover as much about us as we do about its authors, Gary and Kathy Young.

________________________________________________________________
Beverly K. Eakman is a former teacher-turned-speechwriter, now lecturer on education and privacy issues. She is Executive Director of a Washington, DC-based education organization and author of numerous articles, op-eds and three books.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Life Goes On, January 4, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Loss and Found: How We Survived the Loss of a Young Spouse (Paperback)

Gary and Kathy's book, "Loss and Found" offers a powerful, hard-hitting message that offers a rare glimpse behind the closed doors of mourning - a subject that we often shy away from. It's a relief to find a book on death that opens the windows and lets in the light. Their honest and emotional feelings gave me the courage to face my own family deaths from years back...life does, in fact, go on regardless of the pain involved. I enjoyed their humor, raw observations of their innermost fears, hoplessness and the joys of rediscovering the love within themselves to carry on during the gloomiest of times. I highly recommend this book...a must read for anyone who cares about enriching their souls to the fullest ...for once we deal with the loss of a loved one, we can live our lives to the fullest.