Customer Reviews

The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology

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Overall I would have to say this is an excellent book that combines principles of Psychology and Tibetan Buddhism with the focus on practices of compassion.

There are many techniques in this book that can help to cultivate compassion as well as insights and stories that help to illustrate his various ideas. For this I gave the book 5 stars.

That being said, There are times that the author seems to slide down a "slippery slope" into the worst sort of New Age thinking. For example, he seems to think that most difficulties in relationships are caused by one's own projections.

While one's inaccurate projections may be a part of many people's relationship dynamics, I think it is unrealistic to always assume that one's difficulties in relationships are based on this idea. This is an oversimplification of the reality of many situations and a poor attempt to fit everything into a nice little box.

For example, I have many friends who were born into or married into families to whom conflict and negativity is the norm (though in the case of those who married into it their spouses may not indulge in this behavior but rather their spouse's families) and they became unwilling participants often as targets in this web of negativity. One may have compassion for why their aggressors developed such negative behavior, but to blame the recipient of this aggression by saying that somehow it is a manifestation of their own projections is absurd and not helpful. All this does is lead to unwarranted confusion and guilt in the person being victimized and traps them in a vicious cycle.

Sometimes in spite of their best efforts there is nothing they can do but "draw a line in the sand" and tell their aggressors that if they cross the line that they are no longer welcome. This can be the most compassionate thing one can do because that can stimulate the aggressor to look at themselves in the mirror and try to help themselves. These aggressors, if given free reign (like petty dictators), typically just get worse rather than better unless confronted firmly. It's almost like a power hungry person craving more power.

All that being said....

Overall, the material presented does offer many useful insights from ancient Tibetan Buddhist practices. If the Dalai Lama is an example of the fruits of these practices then one would have to be impressed by their potential.

Some of the practices described here are also described in the book "Awakening The Buddha Within" by Lama Surya Das (aka Jeffrey Miller) which is a fabulous book. While that is not a psychology book per se, Buddhism is very much psychological in nature in and of itself.

My favorite book that contains insights of psychology and spirituality is "Yoga and The Quest For The True Self" by Stephen Cope (also a psychotherapist as well as scholar in residence at the Kripalu Center in Massachussetts). I found that I was able to relate better to the material in that book overall than the Ladner book. Stephen Cope's book is also not only incredibly informative but is written in a style that makes it a joy to read (I am currently reading it for the 3rd time and I know it is a book that will be an ongoing part of my spiritual life).

Still, if you are interested in the meeting of psychology with spirituality, I would recommend reading and trying to incorporate many of the ideas "The Lost Art Of Compassion" into your life. It is a very readable book in terms of it's language (you won't need to read it with an unabridged dictionary by your side) and the author does seem very knowledgeable and sincere.

Namaste

This book is truly brilliant! It is an excellent resource for anyone interested in living a happier, more meaningful, and more compassionate life. It offers much insight into how the mind works and why ordinary ego-driven attempts to find happiness often backfire. In combining Buddhist concepts and techniques with explanations from Western psychology, this book shows a clear path to transcend the limiting confines of the ego through the power of love and compassion. Read it once and then read it again!

A brilliant intellectually fertile discovery. Dr. Ladner has gotten it right!! If I had the funds I would forward this magnificent book to all religious and political world leaders as well as those versed in the fields of psychology, psychiatry, philosophy, and any other field requiring human interaction. What am I saying? - that would mean all of us should read this book and we definitely all should.

Anyone reading this wonderful book would come away with hope, a hope that compassion for one's self and for all beings would lead to less suffering for ourselves and others. This book defines how this can come about and a path to inner peace as well as outward peacefulness towards our fellow worldly companions. Imagine the "butterfly theory" if we all read Dr. Ladner's masterpiece.

I found this book was a joy to read and I learned a lot about a subject I thought before that I'd really understood. It gave me a new way of looking at the self-cherishing mind and a new way to find true happiness. Very helpful for finding happiness in relationships and in daily life.

Lots of "show and tell" examples teaching the path to happiness through compassion. As I would ask a question, it would be intuitively answered on the next page! This book is a gift to humanity!

I've read several books making Buddhist concepts accessible to Western/American readers -- and this is the best, the clearest, the most practically useful. It is also a book that would help followers of other faiths see the usefulness of Buddhist concepts and practices without threatening their present beliefs. In other words, this is a great book for Christians to read! It helps show many practical ways for all of us to become kinder, more accepting, more loving of others and ourselves. It also show us a way out of our own selfishness, our own fears about interacting with others. It could help marriages, families, relationships, friendships.

It is a wonderful book. I am sad to see that the bargain price suggests it hasn't sold well, but I am glad to see that its bargain price makes it easier for people to purchase. I have given more than one copy as a gift!

Read it!

I underline the passages of books that are the key ideas within each section. This book has the most underlining of any book on Buddhism I have read, and that is quite a few. Ladner helped this thick headed westerner gain a deeper appreciation and realization of important Buddhist principles. It is also an enjoyable romp into the world of western psychology, made palatable by its lack of filler (typically endless "studies" done on undergrad students)and Ladner's deep appreciation for Buddhism's insights into human behavior, thought and psychology. A bonus is the last section where Ladner outlines each chapter of the book. GET THIS BOOK.

And it still blows my mind away! This book became my new bible at one point and really, it changed my life. I learned a lot from its user friendly approach... and while Im not able to practice everything it suggests I still strive for it.

I wouldnt call this a self help book persay... but an introduction to the brightest, most honest way of living anyone could attempt with love in their hearts. Its not cheesy, its not super mystical, but practical and logical.

Compassion isnt something youre simply born with... but something you can grow into. Something you practice in any walk of life.

An excellent guide to applying compassion in Western Culture. An excellent balance between theory and practical applications with a bias towards the latter. A heartwarming book that helps give us faith in ourselves and in others.

I work in a psychiatry clinic that is in the process of adopting dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) as its primary theoretical orientation in the intensive outpatient program. DBT to some degree combines cognitive therapy with buddhist psychology. Thus I came to this book with an interest in where buddhism and psychology meet. I am not a buddhist and am centered in another spiritual tradition. I easily gave this book all the stars I could because it is a truly wonderful, compassionate book on how to live life as a true human being. All of us to one degree or another have some narcissism, and this book is an excellent guide to dealing with our own narcissism and the pain it causes us. Life is short, sometimes unexpectedly so, and for those readers working to come into true maturity as a human being and end suffering in their lives- this is a truly kind and truth filled guidebook.

I especially like that all the exercises that are proposed that the reader do are again listed together at the back of the book. I have had the honor of seeing lovingkindness work transform lives. This book has been tremendously helpful to me personally, and I know that incorporating the essence of the book's message into the work setting will help me serve others.