Customer Reviews

The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships (Guilford Family Therapy)

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

If you're looking for a "self-help" or "how to" this book might not be the one for you. However if you want to understand the background behind how and why we choose or choose not to listen, this is a great book. It would be especially helpful for anyone in the psychology or communication arenas, but for the average person trying to become a better listener, it might take a little too long to get to the point (it's over 300 pages I think). I do enjoy the anecdotal style in which it is written, which helps the reader see the point the author is trying to make.

The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships (Guilford Family Therapy)
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

I have written about relationships all of my professional life, and I have included information on relationships in my textbook, Understanding Interpersonal Communication -- which, I might add, is "on sale" at Amazon.com for $124.20! Also, I have co-authored a book on listening (with Curt Bechler) which is out-of-print, but Amazon.com lists the book, Listen to Win, "on sale" for $70.00! I mention these as my credentials for reviewing The Lost Art of Listening, which is a book that directly relates the two (relationships and listening), and I want to mention at the outset that this book deserves accolades and recommendations. It is well-written and a true pleasure to read. It is full of practical, applied information, which means you can both understand and use the information immediately. Also, it touches on the very core of the listening problem: that we seldom listen well to the important people in our lives. Most people think they already listen well so would not even consider this book relevant. The "Quiz" on pages 67-69 (along with directions for scoring the results) may help disabuse readers of this belief.

In this 314-page paperback (with a 5 1/2-page index), some may believe the book too forbidding at first glance; however, the author offers numerous examples, interesting and useful boxed inserts, short sections, highlighted (boldface) quotations that offer suggestions and insights, and end-of-chapter exercises that assist you in applying chapter information. It is clear just from a quick glance through the book that Nichols is an accomplished textbook writer -- all the essential ancillaries are here. (If you check out his other books at Amazon.com, you will notice from the number of books and froml the reviews, that Nichols has achieved success in a number of subject areas.)

There is no doubt that following the author's guidelines will not only make you a better listener, but they will contribute positively to improved relationships (his main point!). I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Every parent should read it, and anyone, too, who is planning to enter, is already in, or has experienced any failed relationships in the past desperately needs the information in this book.

I had enjoyed a book by Mr Nichols about family therapy, so I thought I would give this (actually the first edition)a try. The author lists several anecdotes that demonstrate how listening helps and how not listening hurts. So far so good. But listening is encouraged as an abstract ethical precept, to be implemented by the conscious will. In this I think he overlooks the many contributions of neurology and psychology to poor listening. Listening to the meaning of others (Nichols real emphasis) is only possible if one is able to listen to the sounds of others. This deeper, more fundamental level of listening, with actual help is covered in the works of Alfred Tomatis and Stephen Porges.

This book is fabulous. I bought it because I am studying to be a marriage and family therapist, but anyone can get SO much out of this book. It is great for all men, all women, psychologists, teachers... anyone who has to listen to anyone else speak, so EVERYONE. HIGHLY recommended!

If you've ever felt that something was missing from some conversations but couldn't pinpoint exactly what - this book might be eye (and ear) opening for you. I'd like to carry this book around with me for constant reminders on how to be a better listener! Easy to read with plenty of examples.

Here is a book that every parent, every spouse and every boss should read! The writing is clear, easy and entertaining. Numerous examples helped me see myself. Sometimes it made me reconsider my actions and other times the writing had me laughing!

The book is a great resource if you really care about someone. Everyone wants to be heard and understood. This book will help you achieve this degree of sensitivity.

Who would have thought listening was so difficult?! When you think about it though, we often talk and never stop to truly hear the other person. Even when we seem to be listening, we're often preparing our response before the other person has finished speaking. This book could have been titled Communicating Effectively or How to Improve Your Relationships. The Lost Art of Listening is such a valuable guide for improving communication and I truly believe people would have more successful relationships if they implemented the strategies included in this book.

This was suggested to my by my professor and I really don't feel like it gives me anything I haven't already learned in my undergrad and now grad classes in counseling. For a non student I can see where this could be helpful.

I had hopes for this book because of the straighforwardness of the title and subtitle -- but it doesn't actually teach you how to listen, just the importance of listening and the reasons people don't listen. I was already convinced of the need to listen or I wouldn't have bought the book. I sincerely wanted to learn how to listen effectively. The author provides obvious statements with which no one could disagree, but comes up short on the how-to of it all. He advocates empathy, suspension of one's own agenda, and genuine attentiveness -- who didn't know that or guess that? The author includes his personal experiences way too often, as though he needed someone to listen to him . . . and the clear-cut, case-in-point examples he gives seem more made-up than real-life. He lost my hopes completely when he writes about "nagging women" who feel their husbands do not listen to them. Unbelievably, his advice to such women is to expect less of their husbands so they will receive more in return. He might as well have told them to shut up.