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Lost Claus (The Nick Files) [Kindle Edition]

Dan Fiorella
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $6.95
Kindle Price: $3.99
You Save: $2.96 (43%)
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Book Description

Leaping Yule logs! Santa Claus has gone missing! And it's almost Christmas! Where is he? It's a Christmas-tery!

What happens when Santa goes MIA? Well, Tweedle the elf decides they need to hire an amazing Private Eye to find him. Unfortunately, all they can afford is Nick Flebber.

Flebber's a private eye riding a dry patch, income-wise, looking to take any case that walks through his door. Sure, the elf's money looks legit, but how does he know this isn't the effects of some mind altering drugs? Then he remembers he can't afford any mind altering drugs. So, before you can say “pa rum pum pum pum,” Nick's off to the North Pole to track Big Red down. Bringing his old-school methods to Santa's workshop, Nick is soon grilling Santa's helpers to see if any of them were trying to help themselves. He's cross examining Mrs. Claus to make sure he wasn't dating on the side and soon discovers that the Clauses have an adopted daughter, which gets Nick's mistletoe all hot and bothered.

But where is the big man? And his sleigh? Not to mention the tiny reindeer? Nick follows the leads back to his old stomping grounds and discovers he's up against the underbelly of the holiday season. The clock is ticking; Can Nick get Santa home for the holidays?

It's a genre-bending comedy/fantasy that takes the holiday happenings and turns them on their head. A funny, NoeL-O-L book for kids and the kid inside everyone. Yule love it!


Editorial Reviews

Review

Dan Fiorella's noir Christmas tale...the perfect gift for little peepers!
-Doug Molitor, author "Memoirs of a Time Traveler"

@danfiorella is the new TBS, Very Funny
-JFiorella5

...a great satire and a fun story...
-Annie Frisbie, SuperFastReader.com

From the Author

For more of my funnyness, check out: contributor.yahoo.com/user/11494/dan_fiorella.html

Product Details

  • File Size: 396 KB
  • Print Length: 105 pages
  • Publisher: Dan Fiorella; 1 edition (November 9, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009TA7PUA
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #564,693 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Humorous Noir November 12, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
A delightful mash-up of detective novels and holiday spirits in which we meet a cynical and hapless detective, Santa's elves, Santa himself, his wife, and a surprise family member. The trip and visit to Santa's base of operations in the North Pole is imaginative and filled with humorous inventions. Every page offers moments of laughter and surprises galore. Not a dull moment in this ingenious and zany romp.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars truly funny! December 7, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Synopsis:
A jaded private eye takes on the case of a lifetime when an unusually small client by the name of "Tweedle" walks in the door wearing a red and green outfit claiming his boss is missing.

Review:
Lost Claus is really, really funny. Dan Fiorella gets all the hard boiled lingo just right and it's hilarious when juxtaposed with some snooty elves, Santa's hot-to-trot adopted daughter, and the threat of Christmas without the big man himself. It's a great satire and a fun story, way more than the gimmick you might assume it to be. And it exemplifies everything I love about the e-publishing boom-what kind of home could a comic novella like this one find in the traditional landscape. If only more writers were at the level of Fiorella and others like Christiana Miller, but it's a fair trade.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read November 25, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Held my interest right from the start up to the finish. Done in vintage private eye story telling. Plenty of humour combined with and a great seasonal story.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining quick read. December 28, 2012
By Shelly
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Fun, quick holiday reading. Not super deep, a little bit cheesy. I wished for a bit more but cute idea.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Cute December 27, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Santa's been kidnapped so the elves hire Nick to find him. Nick travels to the North Pole to look for clues and the search begins. Interesting concept, but just a touch a little sappy. Fun little Christmas story.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting January 8, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Lost Claus by Dan Fiorella is a different story than I normally choose but I enjoyed it. A light read about the time Santa Claus was kidnapped just a few days before Christmas. The elves get together and hire a seedy 'gangsta' private eye with a Bogart style and together they work on the case to save Saint Nick and Christmas. Though the 'gangsta' style was a bit difficult for me, as a reader, to get into at first, this tongue-in-cheek easy read was worth reading. I enjoyed a couple of surprises that Fiorella threw into the mix and will read again. Good job.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By G.A.E.
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A down and out P.I. in need of a case is retained by a client for a missing person investigation. The client is an elf, and the missing person is none other than Jolly Old St. Nick himself. It's a pretty good yarn, built around some reasonable investigative procedures. It's constructed with every Christmas cliche and polar pun known to the English language. Most are amusing, but some get tedious. It is an entertaining read, in an offbeat sort of way.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars light fun reading May 19, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
very good story line.very enjoyable , funny and amusing. nice light reading!
kept your interest going it was to r ead something that was fun!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Christmas tale
This story involved the conflict of Santa Claus not being able to make his usual annual journel and how arrangements were made to work around it. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Kay Martin
4.0 out of 5 stars Punny goodness
Very cute and punny short story. The whole time I'm reading, i keep thinking it sounds like Guy Noir, sure enough, the author is a writer for PHC. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Angel
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Story
A very clever tale! Another perspective on the Santa Clause story. Just a good story with lots of fun added!
Published 14 months ago by Seneca Gal
4.0 out of 5 stars funny story line
It really delves into the fact of "What would you do if little people come to you claiming to be elves and that Santa is missing" Good read
Published 14 months ago by Emily F. Gray
2.0 out of 5 stars Wasn't worth the time or space on my Kindle.
It felt very condescending. I found no humor in it at all. Was looking for something that matched the season and this comes off very tongue in cheek, Yeah, I don't belive a word... Read more
Published 14 months ago by PhotoStras
5.0 out of 5 stars Humors
A great short story for a holiday season read. Lots of puns and innuendos pertaining to Christmas, Santa. and the North Pole. Very entertaining. Highly recommend.
Published 14 months ago by William J. Telesz
4.0 out of 5 stars Light hearted read.
A holiday based mystery with lots of fun and work finding the missing Claus. Not a heavy mystery, but one for light reading.
Published 14 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute humorous tale.
I wanted a quick Christmas read and this short story seemed to fit the bill. Story was predictale,but loved the wit of the author and the modern twists to the "Santa is... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Mary F Warman
4.0 out of 5 stars For your light reading break
This is just an enjoyable read. My husband, who reads a lot more than I do, referred it to me because he enjoyed it so much.
Published 14 months ago by Barbara Hover
4.0 out of 5 stars Lost Claus by Dan Fiorella
Written like a detective novel only the subject was Santa Claus. Well done the way the facts came into play. A good read, with a good mix of humor. I would recommend it.
Published 14 months ago by Texanreader
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More About the Author

Dan Fiorella lives in New York City. Downtown New York. Very downtown. Okay, he lives in Staten Island. He has written for stage, screen and radio speaker. From Cracked magazine to Prairie Home Companion, his comedy insights and insults have given belly laughs to the masses.

In addition to Cracked, he's been published in MAD, Reader's Digest, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, the Staten Island Advance, Weekly World News and, in France, his Sherlock Holmes parody was included in the anthology "Sherlock Holmes Dans Tous Ses États."

He's worked on "The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers" and "The Start of Something Big" for TV and written comedy material for the American Comedy Network and All Star Radio. And was the writer for the PC game "The Lost Cases of Sherlock Homes 2."

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